15 May 2018

Memory Trees: Pauline and Brian’s story

After Pauline’s husband, Brian Shaw, was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford in 2016, the family decided to dedicate a leaf in Brian’s memory to place on our Memory Tree at the hospice. Here, Pauline shares how this helps the family to feel comforted knowing that Brian is still a part of the hospice.

Brian and I married in 1961 when he was in the Royal Air Force. We spent our first 15 years together running The Chequers pub in High Halden, Ashford; later, Brian became the Club Secretary at Tenterden Golf Course and in his last 17 years we both enjoyed working as lecturers on cruise ships. We did three world cruises, teaching the card game Bridge to passengers. Brian led a very public life and was well known and loved; he was always the popular front man, whilst I beavered away in the background!

Having a copper leaf on the Memory Tree at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford is very comforting for me, just knowing that part of Brian remains at the hospice that treated him so well and completely. As a family we were treated so very kindly, and nothing ever seemed too much trouble.

We were so very privileged to be looked after by Pilgrims; it was such a calming environment to be cared for in, somewhere we didn’t have to worry and could feel confident and relaxed in lovely surroundings, looked after by wonderfully sensitive staff. I feel a warm comfort knowing Brian’s leaf is there every day.

Pauline

Brian’s leaf on the Memory Tree at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford

Pilgrims allowed the whole family to be with Brian at such an important time; our 18 year old granddaughter begged me to let her stay at the hospice every night so that she could keep an eye on her Grandpa. This was no trouble for the hospice; they allowed her to sit in the family lounge to study during the day and sleep over each evening.

We were so very privileged to be looked after by Pilgrims; it was such a calming environment to be cared for in, somewhere we didn’t have to worry and could feel confident and relaxed in lovely surroundings, looked after by wonderfully sensitive staff. I feel a warm comfort knowing Brian’s leaf is there every day.

Pauline and Brian’s daughter-in-law, Teresa Heapy, is a children’s author; her poem Grandpa was inspired by Brian and is included in her new children’s book of the same title.

Read Grandpa by Teresa Heapy

If you’d like to dedicate a leaf on one of our Memory Trees in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/memorytree or contact Sophie or Sara on 01227 782 066.


If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.