Remembering Pat: A love that lives on
When Barry Cobb looks back on his 59 years of marriage to Pat, he remembers a lifetime of love, laughter, adventures and treasured memories.
He also remembers the care Pat received at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice during the final weeks of her life, care that, in her own words, gave her “a little bit of peace”.
From his home in Margate, Barry recalls the woman he first fell in love with as a teenager, and the remarkable life they shared together.
Their story began with a friendship that started from afar in 1962. Introduced by a friend, the young couple became pen pals. Pat was working in the offices at Euston Station in London, while Barry was serving with the Army in the Outer Hebrides.
“We sort of got close from afar, sending letters every day,” Barry remembers.
When Barry came home to Harrow on leave at Christmas, they finally met face-to-face. He travelled straight to Euston Station to meet Pat, and from that moment, the two were almost inseparable.
It wasn’t long before Pat followed Barry back to the Outer Hebrides. It was a huge journey for the 17-year-old, who had never travelled by train before, but it was the beginning of many adventures together.
They married soon afterwards, and as a military wife, Pat travelled far and wide with Barry. When he later left the Army and became a police officer, their life together continued to take them around the country, living in many different counties across the UK.
For almost six decades, they shared a life filled with experiences, changes and, above all, each other.
They also became parents to two sons, Paul, born in 1965, and Tony, born in 1967, who became an important part of the life Barry and Pat built together.
When Pat became ill, Barry remained by her side.
Pat was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2021. She had previously undergone two mastectomies, but sadly her health continued to deteriorate. She spent two weeks at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice, where the team cared for her and worked to ensure she was comfortable and, most importantly, free from pain.
Pat had a view of the hospice garden from her room, a detail Barry remembers fondly.
For him, those final weeks also hold precious memories of being able to spend time together as a family:
“They could visit, sit beside her and be together until the very end.”
Pat was 78 when she died, sadly, on the couple’s 59th wedding anniversary.
For Barry, the memories of their life together remain incredibly important. And now, he has found a special way to remember Pat while helping other families who may one day face a similar journey.
At this time of year, Barry dedicates a special dove to Pat as part of Pilgrims’ Trees of Love.
For him, the dedication is more than a tribute. It is a way of keeping those happy memories close and turning his experience of Pilgrims’ care into something that can help others.
“Remembering Pat this way helps me to keep those lovely thoughts close to my heart,” he says.
Barry’s dedication is a lasting tribute to a much-loved wife and to 59 years of a life shared together.
And as the Trees of Love shine brightly in memory of loved ones, Pat’s dove will carry her memory forward; helping to ensure that other people and their families can receive the compassionate care, comfort and “little bit of peace” that meant so much to Pat and Barry.
Trees of Love returns in December 2026.
Services will take place at the Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford hospices on Saturday 5 December 2026.
Alternative indoor services are available at venues across east Kent throughout the month.
Register today to dedicate a dove for Trees of Love 2026.
