Why I support Pilgrims Hospices: Sarah’s story
“I always imagined hospices were marvellous places, but until I experienced it myself, I didn’t know just how exceptional everything and everyone would be.”
My Dad was a true Londoner – bold, big-hearted and full of life. His voice could fill a room, and so could his warmth. He was so generous with his time and embodied the spirit of community in every way, proudly inheriting the family picture-frame making business ‘Mann & Sons.’ In his later years, he moved to Kent and found real comfort in the slower pace of life and bracing sea air.
After Dad had his stroke, it was heart-breaking to see someone who had always been so strong and independent suddenly become so vulnerable. As his final days were drawing closer, he told me that he wanted to die at home, but this wasn’t possible since he needed too much attention.
In the end, however, I feel very grateful that he ended up in the care of the Thanet hospice. It was the best thing that could’ve happened and from the moment we came through the door, I knew we were in fantastic hands.
The small things will always stay with me: the hand-knitted quilts on each bed, to the radio that appeared in his room after I mentioned his love of listening to it. These thoughtful touches, to me, show the true meaning of care – acts of decency, kindness and generosity given for nothing in return.
There are many touching moments I recall in those difficult days, but the one that sticks in my mind most is sharing Dad’s final sunset with him. He’d asked for this specifically and even though the nurses were busy, at shift’s end, they made the time to attach rollers to his bed and wheel him outside. I sat with him, holding his hand, and we watched the sky turn red. I could see what this meant to him.
Twelve hours later, he lapsed into unconsciousness – I had slept in a chair by his bed until that moment and the nurses brought me a blanket for the night. I carried on sleeping there until the moment he died, and afterwards helped the nurses and volunteers bathe him and dress him in clean pyjamas. Their compassion and respect was astonishing, and after they’d taken him away, they handed me an envelope addressed ‘Sarah’ containing a hand-knitted heart and a poem. I still have them both.
My Dad has been gone close to three years now, but I feel his spirit in everything I do. He passed at 80 and when people say he had a good life – and he really did – it doesn’t lessen the loss. Keeping his memory alive is so important to me, and seeing his name on the Memory Tree really touches me. I wanted to support Pilgrims yearly, and it’s such a wonderful way to do so, on a beautiful installation where his memory is kept alive.
I will never be able to repay Pilgrims Hospices for everything they did – they care for the people sitting around the bed as much as the person lying in it. Leaving a gift to Pilgrims in my Will is my way of saying one final thank you, in memory of my Dad and with deep gratitude for all they did for both of us.
If you’re inspired by Sarah’s story and would like to support Pilgrims Hospices, there are many ways you can:
- Dedicate a leaf or dove on our Memory Trees
- Leave a gift to Pilgrims in your Will
- Leave a dedication on our online Father’s Day Memory Wall
