It can affect you and the person who is ill in different ways; some people go through an emotional experience that’s similar to grieving. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

Not everyone wants to talk about what they're feeling, as these conversations can be difficult; however, it can really help to share your worries and fears.

You might want support to help you talk to your partner, family, or friends. Or, you might want to talk to a specialist like a counsellor, someone with spiritual or religious expertise, or a nurse or doctor.

Sometimes, sharing with someone not so immediately close to you allows you to express thoughts that you feel you can't share with your loved one because you're worried about upsetting them.

Once you're referred to Pilgrims, your Pilgrims nurse can help you arrange to see any of our specialists. We can make face-to-face appointments with our teams or set up opportunities for you to talk over the phone, if you prefer.

Our services include:

Free counselling for family, friends and informal carers of hospice patients

Pilgrims free counselling service offers emotional and psychological support to families, carers and friends affected by the events and the changes caring for someone with a life-shortening illness brings.

Pilgrims 24 Hour Advice Line for patients, families and informal carers

Our advice line for patients, families and informal carers is open 24 hours a day if you need urgent support: 01233 504 133. The phone line does not offer crisis intervention; in an emergency, please call 999 or a service such as Samaritans. More information on this is below.

Other expert advice in east Kent

Whether you're concerned about yourself or a loved one, these helplines can offer expert advice:

Samaritans offer confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline).

Mental Health Matters also offer a free helpline, which is open 5pm – 9am, 24-hours, weekends and bank holidays – the number if you're in Kent and Medway is 08001 070 160.

More information about support available in east Kent for informal carers can be found here: