Finding comfort in connection: Fraser’s journey with Pilgrims’ Stepping Stones Bereavement Support group
Fraser Anthony, a 33-year-old illustrator and punk music enthusiast, never imagined that joining a bereavement support group could bring such profound healing.
Ten years after the sudden loss of his father to pancreatic cancer, Fraser found himself still grappling with the waves of grief. It was during one of those difficult moments that he was introduced to Pilgrims Hospices’ Stepping Stones Walk and Talk group.
After attending the group for around a year, he reflects on how this service has helped him cope with grief and find comfort in shared experiences.
Fraser first learned about the Stepping Stones group through a counsellor. At the time, he wasn’t sure what to expect:
“I’d never really thought about joining a group like this,” he admits. “I was a bit nervous, wondering if it would be a large group where I’d feel out of place.”
Despite his hesitation, he decided to give it a try, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions he’s made.
Grief can be a lonely journey, and even a decade after his father’s passing, Fraser says he still has difficult days when emotions resurface unexpectedly:
“It all comes back, and you feel like you’re right back at that moment,” he explains. But at the Stepping Stones Walk and Talk sessions, Fraser found a safe, supportive environment where he could share, or not share, at his own pace:
“The group is really lovely – everyone is so supportive. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, and there’s no pressure. It’s comforting to know that everyone is there for the same reason.”
The Stepping Stones sessions provide a space where participants can walk through beautiful surroundings, engage in meaningful conversations, and connect with others who understand their grief:
“We’re often so busy talking to each other that we don’t even notice where we’re walking,” Fraser shares with a smile. “It’s such a lovely atmosphere, and I feel safe.”
As the youngest member of the group, Fraser initially thought he might feel out of place. However, he quickly found that the mix of ages didn’t matter:
“There’s such a variety of people, but that doesn’t even cross my mind anymore,” he says. “It’s not about age – it’s about the shared experience of loss. I’ve met some incredible people, and while we may not have deep personal connections, there’s an ease in how we gel as a group. We talk, reflect, and support each other.”
For Fraser, the Stepping Stones group has become a vital part of managing his grief:
“It’s like therapy without being therapy,” he says. “The volunteers are wonderful, and I’ve learned new coping mechanisms that help me on the tough days.” Fraser especially values the chance to support new members of the group, helping them feel less alone as they navigate their own journeys.
As National Grief Awareness Week approaches, Fraser is passionate about spreading the message of how important it is to seek support, no matter how long it’s been since a loss:
“People sometimes think you should be ‘over it’ after a certain time, but that’s not how grief works. Whether it’s been a year, five years, or ten, there are always going to be good and bad days. The Stepping Stones group has given me a place where I don’t have to explain that – everyone already understands.”
Fraser’s experience with the Stepping Stones Walk and Talk group highlights the importance of community in coping with grief:
“I can’t thank the group enough – it’s been amazing,” he says.
As he prepares to move to Nottingham in 2025, Fraser is comforted by the thought that, no matter where he goes, the lessons and connections he’s gained through the group will stay with him.
To find out more about bereavement support at Pilgrims, visit pilgrimshospices.org/bereavement.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
