Trees of Love: Mandy’s story
Mandy Broughton attends Trees of Love in memory of her husband, Eamon. Here, she shares how it helps her to feel close to him at an emotional time of year.
2019 has been my 20th wedding anniversary; it was such a happy day yet slightly tinged with apprehension. My husband Eamon had survived testicular and bowel cancer, but a routine check-up a few months prior to our wedding had shown some spots on his lungs.
We were married in Canterbury and went on honeymoon to Bermuda. Unfortunately, about three days into our honeymoon Eamon starting feeling unwell and we had to fly home early. What followed was several months of doctors and hospital appointments, waiting for a surgeon to return from his holiday, and a prolonged hospital stay at Kings in London.
As Eamon died so close to Christmas I find the Trees of Love services an ideal way of marking that time. Even though he died 20 years ago, I find it an emotional time. I like to take part in the services as I find it makes a little link with Eamon that I can’t achieve any other way.Mandy
We were dealing with multiple doctors at multiple establishments and trying to ensure they all knew the full situation. If we had to call for a doctor, it took ages simply to explain what was wrong and what treatment he had. In addition to the underlying problems of his cancer, Eamon suffered from infections so he was taking a lot of medication.
At the end of August 1999 things came to a head. Eamon was either feeling terrible or knocked out by morphine. It was eventually arranged for him to go to the hospice in Canterbury. We all assumed it was the beginning of the end.
When we arrived Eamon was taken to a room and made comfortable. I was ushered into a nice office, given a cup of tea and shown such kindness and understanding that I broke down in tears. Two people gave me their full attention and time and I poured out the story of Eamon’s health. The relief of knowing that Eamon and I were going to be looked after was immense.
What I didn’t expect was to go into Eamon’s room later the same day and find him sitting up in bed, happy, chatting and choosing a drink from the afternoon drinks trolley! By simply sorting out his medication, the doctor at the hospice had transformed our lives.
So in a complete turnaround from my initial thoughts that the hospice was a sad place where Eamon would die, it became a place of new hope. Eamon stayed a few days and when he came home he was even able to ride a bike for a little while. We had a hospice nurse, Judy, visit once a week and she stayed on top of Eamon’s medication. In November 1999 Eamon’s health declined as he developed yet another primary cancer, this one in his brain. Judy’s visits were invaluable at this time.
Eamon died aged 42 in the Chaucer Hospital; my big regret being that he was too ill to be moved to the hospice. The six months after our wedding was a time of unbelievable heartache, worry, pain and sometimes panic. However, we did also experience incredible kindness, peace and even joy, and the hospice contributed greatly to those positives.
As Eamon died so close to Christmas I find the Trees of Love services an ideal way of marking that time. Even though he died 20 years ago, I find it an emotional time. I like to take part in the services as I find it makes a little link with Eamon that I can’t achieve any other way.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 7 December 2019.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
- All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 1 December
- Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 13 December
- Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 13 December
- Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 14 December
- St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Saturday 14 December
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact Sara or Ellie:
- Telephone: 01227 782 066
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
