Sun shines brightly on Pilgrims’ Summer Garden Party
With many visitors to the Summer Garden Party held in the grounds of Pilgrims Hospice Ashford on Saturday 4 August, the day proved to be a roaring success and is set to raise more than £18,000 in vital funds for the charity.
This year saw more sumptuous afternoon teas than ever being enjoyed by visitors, along with the wonderful teddy bear’s picnic, a new addition to the hospice’s wildflower garden. Whether you were encouraged to fish for a bottle, enjoy a reflexology treatment or try your luck on a tombola, there was something for everyone.
This is such a fantastic event. So many of our staff and volunteers all come together as a team to make the Garden Party a success. It’s wonderful to walk around our gardens and see everyone smiling and having fun. Thank you to everyone who helped make a difference for our charity.
Wendy Kelk, Hospice Services Manager
During the afternoon Pilgrims Hospices Healthcare Assistant, Sarah Smith, braved the clippers and had her head shaved to raise even more funds for hospice patients. Local companies also showed their support, including KDC Power Utilities who donated an iPad, helping to raise nearly £4,000 through the Summer Grand Draw.
Sarah Smith had her head shaved to raise vital funds for Pilgrims
Hospice Services Manager, Wendy Kelk, was one of more than 150 volunteers on the day and said, “This is such a fantastic event. So many of our staff and volunteers all come together as a team to make the Garden Party a success. It’s wonderful to walk around our gardens and see everyone smiling and having fun. Thank you to everyone who helped make a difference for our charity.”
Maria Martin, who attended with her young son, Oscar, said: “The afternoon’s excitement began the moment Oscar realised he could go on the free park and ride bus to get to the hospice – he would have stayed and gone round and round all afternoon! He loved the children’s games too, especially fishing for ducks.”
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
6th August 2018
Gavin’s sporting challenges raise awareness and funds for Pilgrims
Gavin Dixon from Chartham is raising funds this summer for a local charity that is close to his heart. He’s attempting to raise more than £2,500 for Pilgrims Hospices, the charity that cared for his much-loved grandad, William Dixon, who passed away this year.
Gavin is already well on the way to achieving his goal with more than £1,600 raised so far.
The next challenge on his list is the popular Canterbury Half Marathon on Bank Holiday Monday 27 August. This well recognised and much-loved event is organised by Nice Work to support Pilgrims Hospices and attracts a large number of runners from across Kent and further afield; it’s one of the county’s favourite half marathons.
The Bank Holiday event attracts a huge crowd each year and the beautiful backdrop of the Kent Downs is inspiring for the novice and veteran alike.
Gavin’s grandad, William Dixon
Gavin said: “My grandad passed away suddenly from renal (kidney) failure at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury, at the age of 87. He was originally from Luddenham, just outside of Faversham, and settled in Rough Common, where he spent most of his later years.
“I remember him as an incredibly proud and independent man with an infectious smile, living comfortably and happily. His passing came as a massive shock to us; until recently he had shown no signs of any health problems.
To celebrate my grandad’s memory and to support Pilgrims Hospices to care of others, I’ve taken on a series of events and challenges to raise important funds.
Gavin
“To celebrate his memory and to support Pilgrims Hospices to care for others, I’ve taken on a series of events and challenges in order to raise important funds. I’m signed up for the Canterbury Half Marathon and will follow that with a skydive in September. I will also be looking to compete in some other organised events and have already competed in a triathlon. I’m potentially looking to add another event or two in the coming months, along with organising fundraising events with the support of my friends and family.”
Gavin, who is a project manager working for Openreach, added: “I do my best to stay fit and find that exercise is a great way to unwind after busy days under pressure. I’m often at the gym or running and also do other activities including cricket. I find doing the things I love while generating funds for such a special charity is really inspiring; I believe my grandad would be incredibly proud.
“My training is going well and even though the heat has been incredible, I’ve maintained a training programme. The Canterbury Half Marathon will be a challenge, however, I’m looking forward to it and intend to achieve my best possible time regardless of the weather conditions.
I experienced first-hand what an incredible job the nurses and staff do at Pilgrims; making patients and families feel as comfortable as possible.
Gavin
“I experienced first-hand what an incredible job the nurses and staff do at Pilgrims; making patients and families feel as comfortable as possible. I found everyone to be so caring and considerate during a very emotional and exhausting time for my family. I cannot thank them enough for making Grandad’s last few days as comfortable and pain-free as possible.
“I wish to thank everyone who has been supporting me with the challenges. If I can raise over £2,500 by the end of September then I will put myself forward to run the 2019 London Marathon as my final challenge for this incredible cause.”
Robert Grew, Pilgrims Events Fundraiser, said: “We are delighted to have the support of Gavin; he’s taken on some really amazing challenges in order to support even more people in east Kent who need our care. The Canterbury Half Marathon course is challenging and covers the quiet country lanes on the outskirts of the city. The route is quite wonderful and the event is so well supported.”
If you’d like to find out more about the Canterbury Half Marathon or register to take part, contact robert.grew@pilgrimshsopices.org. Right now, you can sign up for the Canterbury Half Marathon as a Pilgrims Hospices runner for free with a commitment to raise at least £100 in sponsorship.
Pilgrims Hospices is an independent charity that provides its services free of charge. To do this they heavily rely on the support and generosity of the local community in east Kent. It currently costs £14m a year to run their full range of services.
Cuddle Beds to be available at all three Pilgrims’ hospices
Thanks to the amazing support and generosity of the east Kent community, Pilgrims Hospices has raised enough to buy a Cuddle Bed for each of its three hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet.
Here, the Individual Giving team say thank you and share what this news will mean for local hospice care.
You did it! Thank you so much.
Since February when we launched the Give a Cuddle appeal, we have been overwhelmed with the response, with more than 1,200 of you generously donating, holding events and doing amazing challenges all in an effort to get us to our target of £31,500. We’re delighted to say that you’ve not only reached the target, but you’ve completely smashed it and raised more than £37,000!
We’d like to thank The Schuh Trust who put the final £6,000 towards the Cuddle Bed in Canterbury, helping us achieve this amazing total.
This means that as well as being able to buy a Cuddle Bed for each hospice, we also have enough to buy two urgently needed Hi-Lo beds to share across our three hospice sites. These specialist beds can be set very low to the floor to prevent falls, and are surrounded by crash mats so that vulnerable patients can be kept safe.
The beds have now been ordered and we’re really excited about their arrival; they will make such a difference to the experience people have when they stay with us. Please keep an eye out on our Facebook and Twitter as we’ll be posting updates to let you know when they arrive.
Thank you so much again for all your generosity and kindness in supporting the Cuddle Bed appeal.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
3rd August 2018
In conversation with Dr Kathryn Mannix
Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of With the End in Mind, was in conversation with Pilgrims Hospices on 16 May 2018 as part of Dying Matters Awareness Week. Here, Kathryn shares her views on being more open about death and dying, explaining how the healthcare profession can help.
Tell us a bit about your background.
I began in hospital medicine and then oncology. In oncology, I discovered that I was fascinated by the challenge of managing symptoms for people who would not be cured. I began to find out about hospices, of which there were only a few nationally. Then, a new hospice was built near my home. I wrote to ask about working there and was invited for an interview. So in a really haphazard manner, I became a trainee in palliative medicine. This was before the term ‘palliative medicine’ had been invented – that makes me feel old!
With the End in Mind is your first book. Why did you write it?
.One of the stories in the book is about how I heard my first hospice consultant describe normal, gentle human dying to a very frightened patient. It had a profound effect both on her (she was completely calmed, and remained so until she died) and on me, who had seen many deaths but hadn’t stood back enough to notice the recognisable pattern he was describing. This conversation is one I went on to have thousands of times with my own patients, and it is always a comfort and consolation to patients and families.
The book is an attempt to take that comfort and consolation to many more people.
The way we talk about death has changed. We’re reluctant to broach it, and we have started to use ‘acceptable’ words that are airbrushing mortality out of our conversations – ‘passed away’; ‘lost’; ‘dear departed’. It’s creeping into media reporting, too. It’s starting to feel impolite to use the D-words. We must not allow that to happen.
Dr Kathryn Mannix
Who would benefit from reading the book?
Well, it’s really for anyone who has ever wondered about what dying will be like, or who worries about it. From the feedback I have had, it’s been a helpful read for many people. I’ve had messages from dying people to tell me that they feel less afraid (and they are making their families read it!)
I’ve had many messages from people who had seen someone die but had not really understood what they were seeing and hearing: they misinterpreted some of the changes in breathing, or some of the noises they heard, as pain or distress. They have been comforted and very relieved to understand the process of dying better, and to realise that their beloved dying person was almost certainly not suffering and was probably deeply unconscious, relaxed and unaware. It’s fantastic to hear from people who have felt such consolation from reading With the End in Mind.
When and why did people stop being able to talk comfortably about death and dying?
It’s been a drift rather than an event, I think. In the developed world, life expectancy increased so markedly in the 20th century that many people now reach their 50s and 60s before they see anyone die. One hundred years ago, people saw siblings die during childhood, and their parents’ generation died while people were in their 20s and 30s; people were more familiar with the process. Death often took place at home.
As it has become less familiar, it has also become more fearsome. We don’t see normal dying in our real lives, but we do see TV and Hollywood dramatic dying, and we are starting to assume that newspaper articles about difficult deaths, and high-drama soap opera deaths, represent normal dying.
Has language played a part? What needs to change?
The way we talk about death has changed. We’re reluctant to broach it, and we have started to use ‘acceptable’ words that are airbrushing mortality out of our conversations – ‘passed away’; ‘lost’; ‘dear departed’. It’s creeping into media reporting, too. It’s starting to feel impolite to use the D-words. We must not allow that to happen.
If we don’t use the words, we will lose the language we need to describe the events we want people to understand. We need richer, not poorer, vocabulary about this once-in-a-lifetime process that awaits us all.
What does ‘dying well’ mean?
Dying ‘well’ is a concept that includes being as aware of the imminence of death as the patient wishes: most cope best by being fully informed, but a few people choose denial as their way to remain emotionally intact. Dying well includes physical symptom control; emotional calm; social peace of mind by preparing loved ones and getting a chance to say farewell, thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, I forgive you. For many it also includes the rites and rituals of their faith.
I often talk to my patients about ‘dying safely’. Together, we discuss the process of dying, and use that understanding to decide where the person would like to be and the practicalities of enabling them to be there. We discuss whether home is practicable, and if not we consider alternatives. In addition, we plan symptom control, family support, decisions like whether there are circumstances in which they would move to hospital; we write a clear plan with the patient’s preferences at its core.
Dying well seems to be very closely related to being able to remain emotionally intact as death approaches. Honesty and clarity seem to help that far more than pretending it isn’t happening.
When I’m talking to patients, or teaching, I hear myself using phrases I have adopted from other people. It’s part of our apprenticeship to learn from our masters, and I have been lucky to have many.
Dr Kathryn Mannix
How have your ideas and views been received?
I’ve been delighted and reassured by the positive response to the book, from the public and from fellow professionals.
What can healthcare professionals and specialists learn from your book?
I’ve tried to include dialogue that might help people to tackle similar conversations. When I’m talking to patients, or teaching, I hear myself using phrases I have adopted from other people. It’s part of our apprenticeship to learn from our masters, and I have been lucky to have many. In the same way, I’d welcome people to take any expressions used in the book and adapt them to use as their own.
Cate Russell, former Pilgrims Hospices Chief Executive, with Dr Kathryn Mannix and Andrew Thorns, Pilgrims Hospices Medical Director
My other hope is that the stories distil the wisdom of approaching dying with understanding and access to good information; the repetitive theme in the stories is of human resilience. If we offer honest, compassionate answers at a pace that suits each patient and their family, then their natural human resilience will allow them to deal with this difficult situation as with previous challenges they have met. Humans are amazing, and often at their best at this really challenging time of life.
I’m also passionate about the idea that we who accompany the dying are ‘midwifing’ the experience: we should be explaining in advance, and then pointing out as the process of dying evolves, that the things we were expecting are happening; that this is usual; that this is ‘safe,’ whilst being prepared to take rapid action if the person experiences discomfort or distress. In this way, not only will each death be well-managed, but also the survivors enter their bereavement having understood the process and witnessed a normal and comfortable death.
What are the biggest lessons that any of us can take away?
That’s a big question! I think we who understand dying have a duty to restore the understanding of death to the public domain. It’s a public health issue, so although we are usually working on a patient-by-patient basis in palliative care, we also need things like Dying Matters to remind us all of the important message of understanding dying while we are still healthy. There are lots of organisations, allied via Dying Matters, working on public awareness, and we should really encourage this message.
What have been the most important lessons for you during your career and whilst writing?
I think we must trust human resilience, and give people access to good information with compassion. This applies whether we are telling a particular person that their life-expectancy is limited, or whether we are talking about a public information campaign about normal human dying.
Hearing dying described to a patient that first time by my skilled and compassionate consultant was a life-changing moment for me. Other stories that have challenged and changed me are also included in the book, like the couple who were each protecting each other from the truth of the wife’s terminal illness because the professionals hadn’t included them both in the conversation when the diagnosis was discussed; and the patient whose physical pain was a manifestation of his inner torment and distress.
I’ve seen these situations many times over the years; I’m getting better at recognising patterns and I feel it’s part of our professional duty to share our wisdom. That’s why I’ve written this book.
How can Pilgrims contribute to our understanding and help push the conversation forward?
Holding a public meeting was a great thing to do, and the huge demand for tickets really confirmed that. I enjoyed a great discussion with you all in Canterbury.
I think that palliative care charities can really contribute to public understanding. We’re talking about something we know very well from personal experience. We also have access to the remarkable research that is being generated about managing symptoms, planning ahead, emotional and spiritual support, family coping strategies and many more considerations.
Getting more air time on TV and radio (Joan Bakewell’s Radio 4 series We Need to Talk About Death was superb) speaks to one generation, but we need social media campaigns to reach different people, too. It’s a huge task. Raising our profiles and taking some risks will be necessary if we are to make a difference.
There’s much more to death than we think; what if it isn’t just an ending, but an event we can plan for? Thinking beyond the four walls of hospices and hospitals, we have the chance to approach it with confidence and plan a good death. After Wards is a collection of insights and ideas from people who can help us all to re-imagine this essential part of life, and to live well until we die.
Continue the conversation at our Time to Talk events with film screenings, poetry readings, Death Cafes and much more.
Tony’s story: “I was a lost soul until I became a Pilgrims volunteer”
Regular Pilgrims Hospices volunteer, Tony Lowdon from Cliftonville, has a special connection with the charity; his long-term partner, Joanne, was cared for at the Thanet hospice after she was diagnosed with a brain tumour in December 2014. Here, Tony shares how becoming a volunteer has helped him.
Joanne was only 31-years-old when she passed away in December 2015. She had spent time in the hospice twice during that year, in order to manage her symptoms. She passed away at our home, where we were supported by the Pilgrims community team.
I cared for Joanne 24 hours a day. I was a lost soul when she passed away.
I took up the offer of some support from Geoff, the counsellor at the hospice. He suggested that when I was ready, perhaps I could spend some time volunteering; it may be good therapy for me.
The suggestion was, ‘Come along on a Wednesday morning, pot a plant and have some tea and cake’. The rest is history!
Recently, the hospice tomatoes and basil produced a perfect meal for a patient who was only able to digest fluids. It was very tasty with absolutely no carbon footprint, and really enjoyed by the patients. That was so rewarding for all of us.
Tony
After starting as a volunteer just one morning a week, I’m now a regular feature around the hospice, sometimes gardening or doing maintenance with the team and even unblocking the odd drain when needed.
I love my role as a volunteer team member. Pilgrims is just like a little community of its own; the staff are wonderful and we all care for each other and do anything we can to support the care of Pilgrims’ patients.
I have built a wonderful network of friends across the organisation. I play Pilgrims Hospices Lottery, offer support as a marshal at fundraising events and get involved with in memory events such as Trees of Love and Sunflower Memories.
Although I’m not a gardener, I’ve become quite skilled now. I find making the garden troughs and raised beds particularly rewarding. Michael from the catering team has been busy planting them and growing vegetables in the hospice gardens, which in turn are used within the kitchen for patient meals. Recently, the hospice tomatoes and basil produced a perfect meal for a patient who was only able to digest fluids. It was very tasty with absolutely no carbon footprint, and really enjoyed by the patients. That was so rewarding for all of us.
The care offered to Joanne was amazing; if she woke and wanted an all-day breakfast at 4am, it would be done – nothing was ever too much trouble from this amazing team.
If you’d like to volunteer for Pilgrims, visit pilgrimshospices.org/volunteer to check out our latest volunteer opportunities.
We’re currently offering exciting volunteering opportunities in Canterbury and the surrounding areas as part of our new Coach House Shed project:
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
