Kathleen’s London Marathon journey for Pilgrims Hospices
Kathleen Neame (49) from Whitstable knows from experience about the vital end-of-life care Pilgrims Hospices provides across east Kent. To give back and say thank you, she will run the Virgin Money London Marathon for Pilgrims on Sunday 3 October 2021 in memory of her dad, John Richard Smith, and her friend, Lisa Goldsworthy.
Kathleen with her dad
John was cared for by Pilgrims in 2008 and died aged 63. Lisa was cared for by the charity in 2019 and died aged 49.
Kathleen said:
“My main experience of Pilgrims was with my dad. It’s hard to put into words how grateful we were to have the hospice in our lives at such a terribly difficult time. The care given to Dad and all our family was second to none; we were treated with dignity and kindness at all times, and Dad felt safe and very relaxed there. As a family, we were given so much support both before and after he died.
“Every year, we attend Pilgrims’ Trees of Loveservice at Christmas and this is where I feel closest to my dad.
“Pilgrims will always have a huge place in my heart. I will always be grateful that we were able to make the most of those precious last days of my dad’s life.”
Kathleen has already raised more than £2,000 for Pilgrims by running the Canterbury 10 Mile Road Raceand the London Vitality Big Half. The London Marathon will be her first marathon and her biggest challenge yet, and it takes place just three days before her 50th birthday. She continued:
“I ran the London Vitality Big Half in 2020; it was an amazing experience from start to finish. This year, I’m doing something I said I would never do and that is run the London Marathon. It’s a huge challenge for me but one I feel grateful to be able to undertake in memory of loved ones and as a thank you to Pilgrims.
“So many people have had positive experiences of Pilgrims, it’s a local charity close to many peoples’ hearts. Pilgrims’ care meant so much to my dad and our family, and I want to help to make sure that this vital resource is available for others in the future.”
Kathleen is being supported in her fundraising by family, friends and colleagues. She also organised a car boot fair to boost her sponsorship. She added:
“By undertaking this marathon journey I wish to remind people how important Pilgrims is and to raise as much money as I possibly can. This is and will continue to be an incredible experience that I’m so privileged to be able to take part in, and I am going to cherish it as much as I can.”
Inspired to follow in Kathleen’s footsteps and run the London Marathon for Pilgrims? Charity places for 2022 are available; apply here.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
16th July 2021
Hospice Sunflower Memories event continues to grow thanks to local nurseries
The delightful and uplifting Sunflower Memories appeal returns to Pilgrims Hospices gardens in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet on Saturday 24 July 2021.
Last year, the much-loved remembrance event took place virtually due to COVID restrictions. This year, although in the scaled back return of Pilgrims events, the charity hopes to raise £50,000 following their best year ever in 2020. People are invited to dedicate a sunflower marker to their loved one and attend the beautiful hospice gardens to share treasured memories together safely.
Sara Scriven, Pilgrims Individual Giving Manager, said: “After a year when we’ve all been asked to stay at home, and many of us have been unable to visit family and friends, we’re so glad to be able to invite everyone back into our hospice gardens to remember again, in a COVID-secure way.
Sunflower Memories is such an important event in our calendar, as it not only helps us continue caring and supporting our patients’ family and friends after they’ve lost their loved one, but it also helps ensure we can continue our vital work.
Kate White, Head of Nursing
“It’s so important to us all at Pilgrims that we are able to offer our community the opportunity to remember and celebrate their loved ones’ lives, and to invite them into our beautiful hospice gardens. We also would like to encourage anyone across east Kent who has lost a loved one to take part, regardless of a connection to Pilgrims. Sunflowers is a remembrance for everyone in our community, and now is the time to join together in celebration, to remember and honour those we’ve lost.”
The events will be accompanied by reflective music and Pilgrims are delighted to have support from their dedicated volunteer workforce on the day to help visitors to find their sunflower memory markers, and to keep the event safe for all those wishing to share in this very special day.
Sara Scriven with Peter Buscall from Meadow Grange Nursery
“We are hugely grateful for the support of our local community and businesses for helping to make this event happen. Peter Buscall at Meadow Grange Nursery has supplied all of the flower pots required for the events on all three Pilgrims sites and is growing 100 sunflowers for the Canterbury day. Jackie Young of Youngs Nurseries has generously donated all the seeds needed. Regular members of Pilgrims volunteer workforce Carol Whittaker and Isabel Hack are growing 100 sunflowers for the Thanet day and Jan Wear is growing 100 for the Ashford day. We could not be more grateful for everyone’s commitment to this very special annual event.” Sara added.
Although on this occasion the hospices will not be providing refreshments, supporters are asked to bring their own picnic blankets and refreshments to keep the event COVID-secure.
Monday 19 July is the deadline to ensure the markers can be in the ground for the event, and to secure a time slot to visit on the day. The events will run from 10:00 am-5:00 pm on Saturday 24 July on all three Pilgrims sites, and supporters need to book an half hour slot to visit the gardens, find their sunflower, and spend a little time remembering their loved one in the beautiful surroundings.
Kate White, Pilgrims Head of Nursing, said: “Sunflower Memories is such an important event in our calendar, as it not only helps us continue caring and supporting our patients’ family and friends after they’ve lost their loved one, but it also helps ensure we can continue our vital work. Reflecting on the year myself and my team have experienced, I am continually amazed by the incredible work they do, and I feel so proud to work for an organisation that has continued providing compassionate care and support to our community through such difficult times. But it is only through the support of people donating to appeals, like Sunflower Memories, that this has been possible.”
If you would like to dedicate a sunflower marker in a Pilgrims Hospices garden of your choice, visit www.pilgrimshospices.org/sunflowers or call Pilgrims Supporter Relations team on 01227 782 062 (Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm) or email [email protected]. The team will be pleased to help you with your dedication.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress. Care is provided from three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet as well as in patients’ own homes. To offer these services to patients and their families the charity must raise £11 million each year from the generous local community.
An anonymous thank you for Pilgrims staff
The staff at Pilgrims Hospices celebrated the first Frontline Workers’ Day on Monday 5 July 2021 with an afternoon tea box gifted by an anonymous donor.
On this important day when the country recognised and thanked all colleagues in the NHS, social care and frontline workers, it was explained, the donor felt it was something very personal that could be a treat for the staff on all three of the hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet.
Melissa Friend and Peggy Wright, Wellbeing Practitioners
The generous gesture was made by a member of the public, Mr C. who explained he’d experienced hospice support for a member of his family and recognised the importance of hospices within the local community. The difficult experience of end-of-life care for a loved one was made more bearable by the warmth and love given by everyone at the hospices.
Mr C. explained he had also been extremely ill when struck down by the COVID virus. Many of us are aware that having a near death experience has a way of making you review life and the things around you that are important. He is now slowly recovering and should return to full health thanks to the support and care of the amazing NHS.
The gift boxes were managed with the support of Ian Ashton, Pilgrims Hospices Catering Manager, who purchased ingredients and products on behalf of our benefactor. Ian said: “We were touched by the kindness of this member of the public. We offered a range of sandwiches, cakes, fruit and savouries for all dietary requirements regardless of the shift pattern that staff worked on the day.
“My team loved being part of this kind gesture and were proud to do some extra baking to make treats for the special day.
Gary Kirton, Maintenance Engineer
“As we explained to staff as the event approached, many of them planned to gather with their colleagues for mini picnics in the hospice gardens. Those who worked different shifts were able to take their boxes home to share with family, or if they couldn’t make it on to the site on the day staff could collect their tea box the next day as they were safely preserved in the hospice fridges.”
Although it was a day to celebrate, at 11:00am Pilgrims paused for two minutes to remember the men and women from the NHS, social care and other key services who lost their lives in the service of others, and the nation also took time out to remember the sacrifice of so many people.
Helen Bennett, Pilgrims Hospices Chief Executive said: “This was such a thoughtful gesture, we are very humbled to have been so highly thought of by a member of the public.
“At the hospices, we take great pride in providing a very special level of care for people at the end of their lives. Ensuring we do as much as possible for their loved ones is important too. Thank you very much Mr C., we are pleased to know you are recovering well yourself.”
Once we have put 2020 firmly behind us, this is the chance for a huge community celebration, with our minds firmly fixed on the amazing work of our NHS and frontline heroes.
Hannah Sole, Pilgrims Supporter Relations Team Leader said: “I’m very proud of my team who have been here throughout this difficult year; providing non-clinical and essential support to those who need to contact the hospices for a wide variety of reasons. We’ve adapted our working practices to ensure safety throughout the working days. What a lovely treat from Mr. C., it’s great to be recognised along with our clinical and care colleagues, we are all part of the Pilgrims family, offering care and support to people currently using our services and those who continue to need our support or support us, after their loved ones have passed away.”
Pilgrims Hospices cares for more than 2,500 local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. We offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
13th July 2021
Pilgrims Hospices help family make lasting memories during COVID-19
In January 2021, Malcolm Ball from Oare near Faversham was referred to Pilgrims for pain management of his terminal colorectal cancer.
He and partner Amanda Brown decided they wanted to become civil partners; they’d been together 20 years but never married.
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, opportunities to do this were limited, but Pilgrims helped to make it happen and give the family memories that will last forever.
COVID-19 has presented unique challenges for hospice care, with restrictions impacting on peoples’ end-of-life experiences. Despite this, Pilgrims has adapted and continued to go above and beyond for patients and families in these extraordinarily difficult times.
After a few weeks in the Canterbury hospice, Malcolm found that not only was his pain stabilised, but also that the hospice itself came to feel like a refuge. He made friends with other patients and staff, particularly Steve Allwright, a Healthcare Assistant (HCA).
Amanda said: “It made an enormous difference to him that Pilgrims staff were always on call, ensuring he received the best care. Steve felt like a friend to Malcolm and made the hospice feel like a home away from home.
“Everyone at Pilgrims went beyond the call of duty to look after us, both emotionally and physically. Martyn Yates, Spiritual Care and Complementary Therapy Lead, was fantastic in helping us organise our civil partnership. We planned for it to happen in Sittingbourne but Malcolm was very poorly by the set date, so with Martyn’s help we sought an exceptional licence to marry in our own home.
“However, when the day came, Malcolm was anxious and didn’t think he’d be able to leave the hospice, which had become a place of sanctuary and safety for him. With his sister, Karen, and brother-in-law, Tim, waiting outside to bring him home, our plans looked in jeopardy.
“Steve, who was off work that day, gave up his time to come in and chivvy Malcolm into the car: “Do you want to get married?” Malcolm replied yes, so Steve said, “Well come on then, I’ll come with you, let’s go”. And with that Malcolm came home for a fantastic ceremony surrounded by flowers. Our son, Emil, and his partner, Tracy, were witnesses. We couldn’t have a party due to lockdown, but the ceremony was broadcast via Zoom to family and friends near and far.”
Malcolm with his son, Emil
Steve added: “During the time Malcolm spent with us, I got to know him quite well. Even through his tough days we always had time to chat and I was honoured to accompany him to his wedding. Amanda was a tower of strength during Malcolm’s illness and he could not have picked a better partner to help him through his journey. It was a privilege to have known them both.”
Steve also helped Malcolm produce a voice recording to leave as a legacy for Amanda, using The Blackbird Project initiative developed by Pilgrims.
Steve said: “One Saturday morning, Malcolm and I sat down and scripted an agenda of his life with Amanda; there were around twenty five parts to his story. Once we had put this in place, Della Green, Occupational Therapist, recorded Malcolm’s story with him, which was then transferred to a memory stick and given to Amanda. I think it was one of the longest recordings ever made since the conception of The Blackbird Project, over an hour long.”
Amanda added: “It feels very special being able to hear Malcolm’s voice now, talking about our life together. It’s hard too while things are still raw, but I know that having the recording of him speaking about some of the things that meant the most to us both will be a lasting comfort.”
In those last days, everyone at Pilgrims did all they could to allow me as much time as possible with Malcolm, calling me back overnight when there were changes, and I was able to be with him at the end. That care and consideration has done much to ease the trauma of the last year.
Amanda
Malcolm stayed at home for three weeks after the ceremony before returning to the hospice for his final days, as he had wanted.
Amanda continued: “In those last days, everyone at Pilgrims did all they could to allow me as much time as possible with Malcolm, calling me back overnight when there were changes, and I was able to be with him at the end. That care and consideration has done much to ease the trauma of the last year.
“Pilgrims is the most amazing place. I feel so lucky, as I know Malcolm did, that we were able to benefit from the care offered. If only there could be a Pilgrims or other such hospice everywhere; to have that level of individual attention and care is something I wish for everyone.
It’s been such a comfort since Malcolm’s death to be able (with a little licence) to talk about us as husband and wife, and to have the memory of our wedding in our living room, with the support and love of family and friends watching it online, however distant. I hadn’t realised how important it would feel to me, but it means the world.
Amanda
“And as for our civil partnership ceremony, it wouldn’t have happened without the enormous generosity and pure kindness of all the staff involved; Steve above all, but also everyone who went above and beyond. On the day itself, when I started to think it might all fall through if Malcolm couldn’t get home, I discovered that behind the scenes, Pilgrims and the register office staff had been working together to try to ensure it could happen.
“It’s been such a comfort since Malcolm’s death to be able (with a little licence) to talk about us as husband and wife, and to have the memory of our wedding in our living room, with the support and love of family and friends watching it online, however distant. I hadn’t realised how important it would feel to me, but it means the world.”
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
9th July 2021
Sunflower Memories: Cess’s story
After Cess Crascall’s husband, Robert ‘Cracker’ Crascall, was cared for by Pilgrims Hospices, she now dedicates a sunflower in his memory as part of the charity’s Sunflower Memories campaign.
Here, Cess shares how the annual celebration helps her family to remember Cracker.
In December 2017, my husband Bobby and I spent his last 10 days in Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury, and they were wonderful. After being in and out of hospital for several weeks following the return of prostate cancer after six years of remission, he really relaxed as soon as he got to the hospice. He was comfortable and chatty – always sharing banter with all the brilliant nurses there, they even used his nickname, Cracker!
The hospice is not a sad place at all, we got time there and we will never forget it. Loads of his friends came to visit, getting drinks at the pub next door, and all sitting round the bed while Bobby enjoyed a Guinness. On his last night, our nephew came and we talked all through the night, and even though Bobby wasn’t able to contribute much, it was lovely to know that we were able to be there with him. The following afternoon he passed, with our son, Arron, daughter, Amy, and myself by his side. As a family we felt very lucky to be able to be together.
My daughter and I went together in 2018 to our first Sunflower Memories, it was such a wonderful day and so nice to feel part of the celebration. Sunflowers has become so important to us, the ‘sunshine flower’ is a reminder of Cracker and the amazing care we received.
Cess
I still cannot get over the care we received – Bobby deserved the best and he got it. Being able to stay with him from the moment he got there, until his last moments was just unbelievable. You just can’t get that anywhere else.
As part of a fundraising group called The Sunshine Girls, I knew when I heard about the hospice’s summer remembrance that I needed to take part. My daughter and I went together in 2018 to our first Sunflower Memories, it was such a wonderful day and so nice to feel part of the celebration. Sunflowers has become so important to us, the ‘sunshine flower’ is a reminder of Cracker and the amazing care we received. I will be remembering Bobby with a sunflower again this year, as a way of giving back and thanking the hospice for all they have done for us.
Cess with her daughter Amy at Sunflower Memories 2018
In those 10 days I got my life as a wife back; having cared for him at home, I could relax with him and sleep at the hospice alongside him. We will never forget the care, support and kindness shown to us and all my family.
Long may Pilgrims continue.
Sunflower Memories events will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet on Saturday 24 July 2021.
When you book, you’ll be allocated a 30-minute time slot in which you can visit your chosen hospice, so we can ensure the event is COVID-secure.
If you’d prefer to remember from home, please visit our online Memory Wall where you can post pictures and messages in honour of your loved one as part of our annual summer remembrance.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
2nd July 2021
Sunflower Memories: Claire’s story
After Claire Wells’ mum, Jan, was supported by Pilgrims Hospices, she now dedicates a sunflower in her memory as part of the charity’s Sunflower Memories campaign.
Here, Claire shares why sunflowers are so special to her family.
Jan painting sunflowers at Pilgrims
My main experience of Pilgrims Hospices was my many visits to the Therapy Centre with my mum, Jan. She had been diagnosed with a brain tumour, and referred to Pilgrims for wellbeing support, until end-of-life care was needed. I went along with her to many of the arts and crafts and Time to Create groups. They really woke up our creativity, and became lovely mother-and-daughter activities we could share in.
Despite living with a terminal illness, she really flourished during that year of painting, knitting and crafting. She particularly enjoyed one Time to Create group, where they painted sunflowers, and from then on it seemed our life was full of them. She had become this very sunny, bright person – she bought a bright yellow coat, so she even looked like a sunflower!
Mum became obsessed with knitting, and I learned how to crochet sunflower brooches. We got so many people asking about them that I started taking a few out with me, so then we could offer them out to those we met. They are such a wonderful flower – they seemed to exude joy and brighten everyone’s day. We ended up handing out so many that when it came to Mum’s funeral, everyone there was wearing one. It was such a comfort to us all, and so powerful to see that she was still spreading happiness.
Jan in her yellow coat
Unfortunately, a year on from her diagnosis, Mum went downhill very quickly, and spent her last five days in the Ashford hospice, in January 2020. We’ll never forget our experience there, it was so comforting and everyone you came across there was so kind. We owe huge thanks to the multi-disciplinary team, we will always be so grateful for the care we all received.
A few months after Mum died, we came back to the hospice and had lunch in the cafe, as my dad felt so close to her there. We saw some leaflets about Sunflower Memories and just thought we had to do it, because sunflowers had been such a big part of our lives over that last year. It was very powerful and lovely in its own way.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to thousands of people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
