Ayo Adebiyi supports Trees of Love in memory of her mother, Patricia.
Here, she remembers her first experience of Trees of Love and shares why she’s looking forward to dedicating a dove again this year.
My mother, Patricia McGettigan Adebiyi, was a loving, bright and modest person. She never appreciated how amazing she was, and our family miss her so much.
In 2019, following a late cancer diagnosis, my mum spent her last five days in the Thanet hospice. After five weeks in hospital she was moved there so she could be more comfortable. I was able to stay with her for the whole five days, which I am so grateful for.
I first learned about the Trees of Love remembrance on the first day my mother spent in the hospice at Thanet. I remember looking out into the gardens, through the window of my mother’s room, and seeing all the people gathered for the service. I was incredibly moved by it, and it was an atmosphere I remembered when my invite came through the following year.
Ayo with her mother, Patricia
Trees of Love was very different in 2020, with a remembrance film to watch, and my mother’s dove sent home to me. I am so grateful that I was still able to celebrate my mother’s life, by hanging her dove on my tree at home, and sending in some photos to be part of the film, which I enjoyed very much.
I will be dedicating a dove to my mother again this year, and getting my first chance to return to the last place I was with my mum, and be part of the service I found so touching. My experience of the hospice when my mum stayed there was so good, and our family is very grateful for the care and support we had, so it will be really special to go back.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
18th November 2021
Verlander family’s fantastic fundraising for Pilgrims Hospices
Luke Verlander from Broadstairs experienced Pilgrims Hospices’ care first-hand when his mum, Sherrie, was supported by the charity in 2013.
To give back and say thank you, Luke and his family have since raised more than £8,000 for local hospice services in east Kent, and their fantastic fundraising continues.
On Sunday 12 December 2021, Luke and his sons, Kieran (10) and Nate (7), will take part inSantas on the Seashore! in Margate, part of Pilgrims’Festive Tri-Series of family-friendly 5k events to raise vital funds for the charity.
Luke’s mum, Sherrie
Sherrie was diagnosed with late stage bowel, liver and lung cancer in 2013, after attending a scan for suspected irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). She died just 50 days later on 18 March, aged 55.
Sherrie was referred to Pilgrims Hospice Thanet a few weeks after her diagnosis.
Luke said: “Mum fought bravely. The Pilgrims staff and volunteers were absolutely fantastic; they were really good for, and with, her and my dad Jim, who rarely moved from her bedside. They were friendly, helpful and, most importantly, passionate about their roles.
“Without a doubt, Pilgrims offers the very best service that you hope to never need. They were so good for our family.”
Over the years, Luke has taken on several fundraising events for Pilgrims. He ran the London Marathon in 2016 and 2017, braved a 120mph Wing Walk and participated in the charity’s It’s a Knockout! event with family, friends and colleagues.
Luke has also organised his own events, including football tournaments, lottery games, raffles and more. He even invented a Pilgrims Hospices Shield trophy for the football matches.
He continued: “My son, Kieran, enjoys running with me. In 2019, when he was eight, we did Santas on the Run! and raised £260! He wanted to do it again, and this year he’ll be joined by his youngest brother, Nate, who is just seven years old.
“We’re supported in our fundraising by friends, family, colleagues, my employer with matched funding, complete strangers (friends of friends via Facebook posts) and local businesses that donated prizes for the raffles or directly sponsored events.
“As a family, we’ve raised around £8,500 for Pilgrims to date. I can only thank all who have supported us over the years; it truly is a very deserving cause.”
Luke’s Wing Walk for Pilgrims
Karen Kenward, Community Fundraising Manager, added: “I have had the pleasure of knowing Luke and his family for many years now and have seen his family grow and grow up along the way. Luke has taken on many challenges to help support vital end of life care for the next person that needs us.
Kieran and Nate on a training run
“Luke and his family are always looking for that next challenge and other ways they can continue to support our charity, and most importantly raise awareness. We really could not continue to run our services if we did not have the ongoing support from our overwhelming local community. Thank you.”
Luke and his family choose to support Pilgrims so that the charity can continue providing its vital care to local families who will need it in the future.
He added: “Pilgrims needs funding through donations to continue offering this vital care. My family support them so that they can continue providing this to local families who will need it in the future.”
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
17th November 2021
Trees of Love: Sue’s story
Sue Duncan supports Trees of Love in memory of her sister, Jeannie, and their mother, Anne.
Here, she explains how Pilgrims Hospices helped the whole family and why she chooses to remember Jeannie and Anne in this way.
My sister, Jeannie, was referred to Pilgrims after a late stage lung cancer diagnosis, where she was given the best care and support through the Therapy Centres, in the hospice and at home.
Jeannie was a talented water colourist, and the arts sessions in the Therapy Centre really allowed her to continue exploring her creativity, and pursue her love of painting. She made good friends there, and it really helped take her mind off her illness.
As a carer to Jeannie, I received a great deal of support – at Pilgrims I was seen as a person too, who was watching her younger sister reach the end of her life. I’ve never forgotten the kindness I was treated with, in what was a very upsetting situation.
Shortly after Jeannie died, it became clear that our mother was really struggling with the loss her youngest daughter. She had felt helpless since Jeannie’s diagnosis, as her own disabilities meant she was unable to provide much practical help. Then when Jeannie died, she felt she should protect her family from the grief she didn’t know how to deal with. Pilgrims were wonderful, providing a counsellor with whom she could speak about Jeannie and her memories. It was a great help for my mother to have somebody who was kind and caring to connect with.
As a carer to Jeannie, I received a great deal of support – at Pilgrims I was seen as a person too, who was watching her younger sister reach the end of her life. I’ve never forgotten the kindness I was treated with, in what was a very upsetting situation.
Sue
Later in 2017, I was contacted by the hospice about the Trees of Love remembrance, and it just seemed a lovely thing to do. I told my mum I was doing it, and together we wrote a message on Jeannie’s dove. It was a way to symbolise our remembrance, and I’ve taken part every year since.
My mother died the following year, so now I remember them both with a dove. I thought the film in 2020 was a lovely thing to do, I watched it two or three times all the way through. Not only could I see my mum and sister remembered, but I also felt a togetherness with the other families remembering their loved ones. We were all going through the same thing.
I look forward to taking part again this year, and hopefully, coming to the service at the Canterbury hospice to experience that feeling of togetherness again, in person.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
16th November 2021
Trees of Love: The Buckler family’s story
The Buckler family support Trees of Love in memory of David Buckler; a much-loved husband, son, father and grandad.
Here, they explain how Pilgrims Hospices helps them to come together with others, share memories and help local hospice services continue to be available for families in the future.
David Buckler was the rock of our family, he had a heart of gold and was a devoted husband to Jilly and an amazing son, dad and grandad. He has left a huge hole in our lives that can never be filled and we miss him dearly.
Dad had a love of motorsport and fast cars. He enjoyed a pint and a game of darts with his son and holidays in Rye with our mum.
In February 2019, Dad was given such devastating news that he had terminal pancreatic cancer; as the weeks went on, the cancer took hold.
Our dad was such a strong and proud man. He was brave and courageous to the end and the only tears he shed were concern for his family.
The day Dad went into Pilgrims Hospice Ashford is one we will never forget. Walking into the hospice, the way all the staff made us feel and the support and care they gave him and all of us was indescribable. Dad even asked how much this was costing, so that to us spoke volumes.
When Dad sadly passed away the next morning, all the staff there really showed empathy and compassion towards us and that meant the world to us during such a devastating time.
Trees of Love is so important to us as a family as the remembrance service gives us time to reflect and remember our dad at this time of year as he loved Christmas. It enables us to join together with other families in similar situations, and gives us the chance to support the hospice by way of a donation so they can give their love and vital, much needed support and devotion to other families the way they did for us.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
Wellbeing blanket is all stitched up
Kathleen Steele, Pilgrims Hospices Wellbeing Practitioner with Kyla Szukala, Pilgrims Complementary Therapist, were pleased to display the finished crochet blanket made by patients during lockdown virtual therapy sessions.
Kathleen explained: “We ran a virtual crochet therapy group during COVID lockdown, where our services users could learn crochet as a new skill or take part in something they already enjoyed. Patients were invited to crochet squares, they would be combined to make a beautiful blanket at the end of the wellbeing sessions. Now, the squares have been collected and Kyla has crocheted them all together to showcase a very beautiful finished blanket.”
The group met via Zoom calls when the hospice Therapy Centres were closed.
“Some of us were more technically minded than others, therefore it took a little time to get the whole group online together to enjoy the therapy sessions, we laughed a lot which is great therapy in itself. Crafts can help focus the mind, release stress and ease the burden of health conditions, and help in decision making which is good for wellbeing.” Kathleen told us.
The blanket has been handed to the Pilgrims fundraising team, who will use it to raise funds for continued hospice care.
Crafts can help focus the mind, release stress and ease the burden of health conditions, and help in decision making which is good for wellbeing.
Kathleen
The Wellbeing team know it’s vitally important to continue services during such difficult times, and while patients were unable to attend the hospice Wellbeing and Therapy Centres due to the COVID restrictions, the care team looked for alternative ways to engage with them. Zoom calls were a brilliant method of keeping in touch.
By holding the group virtually, all participants were able to speak together, share experiences and generally enjoy some additional company and interaction, which is so important during these difficult times.
Crochet Together was just one of many virtual therapy groups provided by the Wellbeing Practitioners. The group was inspired by Kyla, who helped to plan the creative therapy group with Kathleen.
Kyla and Kath with the finished blanket
Pilgrims Wellbeing Programme is free if you live in east Kent and you have been diagnosed with an incurable illness. It aims to enhance wellbeing, in mind and body.
A whole team of Pilgrims expert nurses, doctors and therapists work together to craft a personalised individual plan for each person.
By working alongside GPs and healthcare professionals, the team can identify the best options for individuals. All programmes are flexible to allow the right support when it’s needed most.
Services are also available for carers, who can be friend or family, to support them too with self-care.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
10th November 2021
Trees of Love returns to light up east Kent
This year, local charity Pilgrims Hospices sees the return of the Trees of Love remembrance events at its three hospices and at alternative venues across east Kent.
The largest festive remembrance to take place in east Kent has been running for over 20 years, and raised over £970,000 for the charity to date.
Ellie Cane, who is part of the team behind Trees of Love, said:
“We are so amazed at the amount our local community has raised by taking part in Trees of Love for all these years, and this year we’re really hoping that with their help we can reach £1 million. This would be such an incredible achievement, and I would like to take this chance to say a huge thank you in advance to all those who will be joining us for the remembrance this December.”
The remembrance will begin with the release of a filmed service on the Pilgrims Hospices’ YouTube channel and website on Saturday 4 December at 12pm. This replaces the usual live service performed at the three hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet. Guests are then invited to drop in to the hospices between 4pm and 6pm on the same day to find their dedicated dove, whilst enjoying carol singing and warm mince pies.
Ellie continued:
“On behalf of everyone at Pilgrims, I would like to encourage anyone who has lost someone to join with us to remember by dedicating a beautiful dove in memory of their loved ones. To take part, contact our Supporter Relations team, and we will send a dove out to you to decorate with your personal message. We will place your beautiful dove on the trees at your chosen site, to remain illuminated throughout the festive season.”
Pilgrims Hospices’ Trees of Love remembrances will be held in the gardens of each hospice at Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet on Saturday 4 December 2021, between 4pm and 6pm. Pilgrims also host alternative services at other venues in Barham, Charing, Cheriton, Dover and New Romney.
If you would like to take part to join with others to remember your loved ones and mark this special occasion, or for more information, contact Pilgrims’ Supporter Relations team on 01227 782 062 or email [email protected].
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
