Yuet Mui’s story: “Little acts of kindness make Pilgrims such a special place”
Yuet Mui Chiu from Ashford was devoted to her family; her daughters Pui Ying and Pui Man, her son, William, and her three grandchildren.
She was also a carer for William, who is partially blind.
Yuet Mui’s family with staff at the Ashford hospice
When Yuet Mui became unwell and was referred to Pilgrims Hospices for end-of-life care, the hospice supported her whole family to make the most of the time they had left together.
Here, they share what made that time so special.
“Mum was referred to the Ashford hospice for symptom management; she enjoyed her time there, and was adored by the staff.
“Mum’s English was limited, so being allowed to stay with her overnight for the duration was really helpful. They gave us blankets and a chair to sleep in, and they made sure we were fed.
“Mum went through a phase where she would have a Mini Milk ice cream every day at home, so when the kitchen staff asked her what she would like for pudding, she wanted chocolate ice cream. It wasn’t on the menu, but they went out of their way to get some for her, and even treated her to chocolate bars. It was little acts of kindness like these that meant so much and made such a difference to Mum and all of us. It’s what makes Pilgrims such a special place.
“The staff constantly looked for ways to create comfort, dignity and moments of happiness, however small they might have seemed. Those thoughtful gestures created precious memories that we will always cherish, and they demonstrated the genuine care and humanity shown by everyone at Pilgrims. Mum was comfortable and pain free. She was so happy being at the hospice; when she was told she was being discharged, she was a bit sad.
“When Mum passed away, the staff talked to her as if she was still here with us. One lady gave Mum a bunch of flowers and a kiss. They didn’t rush us to leave, and they gave us a lot of privacy.”
Yuet Mui’s family and friends at Pilgrims Hospices Cycle ChallengePui Ying and her daughter, Bonnie, at Sunflower Memories 2026
Yuet Mui’s family and friends choose to support Pilgrims through fundraising, to help make sure that others can benefit from the same compassionate care they received.
They’ve taken part in Pilgrims Hospices Cycle Challenge, riding 100 miles through the east Kent countryside, and completed the London Big Half 2026 – raising thousands of pounds for local hospice care along the way. They’re also planning a bake off-style event to raise more vital funds for Pilgrims, and they remember Yuet Mui at Pilgrims’ Sunflower Memories event:
“We want to support Pilgrims because they did so much for Mum, and have continued to support our family through their Stepping Stones programme. They’ve gone above and beyond; no matter how much we fundraise or donate, it’s never going to be enough to repay them.
“We want to ensure that Pilgrims can continue providing outstanding care, compassion, and dignity to everyone who needs them. By helping to secure its future, we can protect this essential service and make sure it remains available for current and future generations – offering comfort, expert care, emotional support, and a sense of hope when it’s needed most.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
16th September 2026
Remembering Pat: A love that lives on
When Barry Cobb looks back on his 59 years of marriage to Pat, he remembers a lifetime of love, laughter, adventures and treasured memories.
He also remembers the care Pat received at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice during the final weeks of her life, care that, in her own words, gave her “a little bit of peace”.
Pat and Barry
From his home in Margate, Barry recalls the woman he first fell in love with as a teenager, and the remarkable life they shared together.
Their story began with a friendship that started from afar in 1962. Introduced by a friend, the young couple became pen pals. Pat was working in the offices at Euston Station in London, while Barry was serving with the Army in the Outer Hebrides.
“We sort of got close from afar, sending letters every day,” Barry remembers.
When Barry came home to Harrow on leave at Christmas, they finally met face-to-face. He travelled straight to Euston Station to meet Pat, and from that moment, the two were almost inseparable.
It wasn’t long before Pat followed Barry back to the Outer Hebrides. It was a huge journey for the 17-year-old, who had never travelled by train before, but it was the beginning of many adventures together.
They married soon afterwards, and as a military wife, Pat travelled far and wide with Barry. When he later left the Army and became a police officer, their life together continued to take them around the country, living in many different counties across the UK.
For almost six decades, they shared a life filled with experiences, changes and, above all, each other.
They also became parents to two sons, Paul, born in 1965, and Tony, born in 1967, who became an important part of the life Barry and Pat built together.
Barry Pat Cobb 8
Barry Pat Cobb 7
Barry Pat Cobb 6
Barry Pat Cobb 5
Barry Pat Cobb 4
Barry Pat Cobb 3
When Pat became ill, Barry remained by her side.
Pat was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2021. She had previously undergone two mastectomies, but sadly her health continued to deteriorate. She spent two weeks at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice, where the team cared for her and worked to ensure she was comfortable and, most importantly, free from pain.
Pat had a view of the hospice garden from her room, a detail Barry remembers fondly.
For him, those final weeks also hold precious memories of being able to spend time together as a family:
“They could visit, sit beside her and be together until the very end.”
Barry remembers Pat at Trees of Love
Pat was 78 when she died, sadly, on the couple’s 59th wedding anniversary.
For Barry, the memories of their life together remain incredibly important. And now, he has found a special way to remember Pat while helping other families who may one day face a similar journey.
At this time of year, Barry dedicates a special dove to Pat as part of Pilgrims’ Trees of Love.
For him, the dedication is more than a tribute. It is a way of keeping those happy memories close and turning his experience of Pilgrims’ care into something that can help others.
“Remembering Pat this way helps me to keep those lovely thoughts close to my heart,” he says.
Barry’s dedication is a lasting tribute to a much-loved wife and to 59 years of a life shared together.
And as the Trees of Love shine brightly in memory of loved ones, Pat’s dove will carry her memory forward; helping to ensure that other people and their families can receive the compassionate care, comfort and “little bit of peace” that meant so much to Pat and Barry.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
28th July 2023
Hundreds join together to celebrate treasured memories with sunflowers
Pilgrims Hospices were visited by more than 600 people in their gardens at Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford to find their loved one’s dedicated sunflower memory markers. Despite predictions of a slightly damp weekend ahead, the rain stayed away and there was a lovely atmosphere at each event with the opportunity for friends and family to remember and celebrate their loved ones’ lives.
Visitors were welcomed with tea, cake and strawberries with cream served by Pilgrims volunteers in the charity’s Therapy Centres. These spaces, most often used by the Wellbeing Teams for their Living Well and creative art sessions, hosted beautiful displays of sunflower-themed artworks made by patients and carers.
Members of the Wellbeing Team were present on the day, to speak to visitors about their work, and hear their memories of lost loved ones. Jane, Wellbeing Practitioner at the Thanet Hospice, said: “Families talked about the calm and peaceful feelings they had about being back at the hospice, that it is a safe space for them to talk in, how they felt cared for and that carers too were treated with such dignity both before and after their loved one had died. Some had found it hard to return but then were able to cry, laugh and feel they had made a positive step forward by attending the event. It was a day that was right for both those whose feelings were still incredibly raw, and for those who were returning after 10 years of attending.”
In the lead up to the events, the team at Pilgrims reached out to the local community to help support the event. Ellie Cane, who runs the events at the Hospice, extended her thanks saying:
“Thank you to everyone who kindly donated which helped make the events such a success. To all the keen crafters and knitters who produced beautiful items to sell for donations on the day; Meadow Grange Nursery and our volunteer gardeners who grew over 200 sunflowers plants; and to the Tesco Community Champions and S & A Farms who provided the strawberries for us to serve to our visitors. I’m delighted to say this year’s Sunflower Memories Appealhas so far raised in excess of £36,000, with donations still coming in. This just would not have been possible without the collective effort of our staff, volunteers and our amazing local community.”
There is still time to donate to have a dedicated sunflower memory marker sent to you in memory of your loved one. For more information contact the Pilgrims Hospices Supporter Relations Team on 01227 782062, or at [email protected].
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
7th July 2020
Hospice brings Sunflowers home
Pilgrims Hospices annual summer remembrance Sunflower Memories holds a special place in the hearts of many people across east Kent. Hundreds take part every year by dedicating a sunflower memory marker to their loved ones, and coming together in the hospice gardens in July to share memories and celebrate their loved ones lives.
This year, due to COVID-19, the hospice has been working hard to transform Sunflower Memories from a garden celebration to a remembrance which can be enjoyed from the comfort of home.
Sunflower memory markers are being sent to people at home, and the Individual Giving team are hard at work to prepare a very special film, which will be released on 25 July at 2pm.
We’re so excited to be working with Kerry King, freelance BBC filmmaker
Sara, Pilgrims
Sara Scriven, Individual Giving Manager said: “In a year when we’ve all been asked to stay at home, and many of us are self-isolating on our own, finding a way to support each other, and remember together, we felt was more important than ever.
We’re so excited to be working with Kerry King, freelance BBC filmmaker, to create our Sunflower Memories remembrance film. This virtual event will include many supporters sharing their stories, as well as a behind the scenes look at the extraordinary collaborative effort that helps bring Sunflower Memoriestogether each year. It will be a wonderful insight into the world of the hospice, as well as hearing from some of our staff about what it’s been like working throughout the pandemic.”
Sara adds: “At Pilgrims, we feel it is more important now than ever to come together and share in the memories of our loved ones, and this is why I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage everybody across east Kent, who has lost a loved one to take part, whether they’ve had a connection with the hospice or not. Sunflower Memories is a remembrance for everyone in east Kent. Now is the time to join together in celebration of our loved ones and remember.”
At Pilgrims, we feel it is more important now than ever to come together and share in the memories of our loved ones
Sara, Pilgrims
Pilgrims Hospices Sunflower Memories virtual event will be launched on Saturday 25 July at 2pm on their YouTube channel, website, and social media pages. For more information or to take part, visit www.pilgrimshospices.org/sunflower call 01227 782062, or email [email protected].
Care is provided from three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet as well as in patients’ own homes. To offer these services to patients and their families the charity must raise £11 million each year from the generous local community.
26th July 2018
Sunflower Memories grow vital donations for hospice
Hundreds came together for Sunflower Memories this weekend, a colourful event where people gather to celebrate cherished memories of their loved ones in Pilgrims’ hospice gardens.
Around 900 people attended Pilgrims Hospices Sunflower Memories gatherings to see beautiful sunflower plaque displays in the charity’s Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet hospice grounds. The sun was shining and there was a lovely atmosphere at each event, with the opportunity for people to remember and celebrate their loved ones’ lives.
This was Pilgrims’ fifth annual Sunflower appeal, the biggest yet and by far the hottest! With the temperature soaring into the high 20s, visitors shared special memories with the Pilgrims team in the tranquil gardens while enjoying cool drinks, tea and cake. So far the event has raised an amazing £26,500, but with extra donations and Gift Aid the total should reach £30,000 for the three events. This amazing figure will support hundreds of people living with an incurable illness in east Kent, with donations continuing to come in.
Our Sunflower events are so uplifting. There was a lovely atmosphere of kindness as visitors took comfort in sharing their stories of loved ones.
Sophie Douch, Individual Giving Officer at Pilgrims Hospices
Sophie Douch, Pilgrims Hospices Individual Giving Officer, said: “Our Sunflower events are so uplifting. There was a lovely atmosphere of kindness as visitors took comfort in sharing their stories of loved ones. As well as the sunflower memory marker displays, our gardens were decked with beautiful sunflower seedlings, grown by Pilgrims’ gardeners and volunteers, and visitors enjoyed gentle music and refreshments in the beautiful hospice grounds.”
Each event was supported by Pilgrims volunteers helping with refreshments, merchandise and selling sunflower plants as well as welcoming people, helping supporters find their sunflower plaques, and being there for people putting memories on the Memory Wall.
The Sunflower appeal plays an extremely important role in Pilgrims’ campaign to support as many people as possible.
Sophie added: “Each year this special appeal goes from strength to strength. We would like to thank everyone who has made our remembrance days so very special. This is such an incredible amount of money to raise for hospice care. Every £50 could pay for essential nursing supplies, so as you can see it will help to make a real difference to families needing our support.”
The sunflower memory markers will remain in the grounds of the three Pilgrims’ hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet over the coming two weeks with visitors welcome to view them.
If you still wish to take part, Pilgrims will continue to accept contributions until mid-August at pilgrimshospices.org/sunflowers. You can also call the team on 01227 782 062 or visit your local Pilgrims Hospices reception.
Thank you to the Westerleigh Group for their continued annual sponsorship of the appeal, and to the following garden centres for donating seeds, pots and compost for Pilgrims’ volunteers to grow 300 sunflowers:
Each year Pilgrims supports hundreds of local people coping with a life-limiting illness and their families. The charity offers a range of services: from the end of life care given on its wards, to its Wellbeing and Social programme supporting people after they are diagnosed to live well and stay independent.
