When Barry Cobb looks back on his 59 years of marriage to Pat, he remembers a lifetime of love, laughter, adventures and treasured memories.
He also remembers the care Pat received at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice during the final weeks of her life, care that, in her own words, gave her “a little bit of peace”.
Pat and Barry
From his home in Margate, Barry recalls the woman he first fell in love with as a teenager, and the remarkable life they shared together.
Their story began with a friendship that started from afar in 1962. Introduced by a friend, the young couple became pen pals. Pat was working in the offices at Euston Station in London, while Barry was serving with the Army in the Outer Hebrides.
“We sort of got close from afar, sending letters every day,” Barry remembers.
When Barry came home to Harrow on leave at Christmas, they finally met face-to-face. He travelled straight to Euston Station to meet Pat, and from that moment, the two were almost inseparable.
It wasn’t long before Pat followed Barry back to the Outer Hebrides. It was a huge journey for the 17-year-old, who had never travelled by train before, but it was the beginning of many adventures together.
They married soon afterwards, and as a military wife, Pat travelled far and wide with Barry. When he later left the Army and became a police officer, their life together continued to take them around the country, living in many different counties across the UK.
For almost six decades, they shared a life filled with experiences, changes and, above all, each other.
They also became parents to two sons, Paul, born in 1965, and Tony, born in 1967, who became an important part of the life Barry and Pat built together.
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When Pat became ill, Barry remained by her side.
Pat was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2021. She had previously undergone two mastectomies, but sadly her health continued to deteriorate. She spent two weeks at Pilgrims Canterbury hospice, where the team cared for her and worked to ensure she was comfortable and, most importantly, free from pain.
Pat had a view of the hospice garden from her room, a detail Barry remembers fondly.
For him, those final weeks also hold precious memories of being able to spend time together as a family:
“They could visit, sit beside her and be together until the very end.”
Barry remembers Pat at Trees of Love
Pat was 78 when she died, sadly, on the couple’s 59th wedding anniversary.
For Barry, the memories of their life together remain incredibly important. And now, he has found a special way to remember Pat while helping other families who may one day face a similar journey.
At this time of year, Barry dedicates a special dove to Pat as part of Pilgrims’ Trees of Love.
For him, the dedication is more than a tribute. It is a way of keeping those happy memories close and turning his experience of Pilgrims’ care into something that can help others.
“Remembering Pat this way helps me to keep those lovely thoughts close to my heart,” he says.
Barry’s dedication is a lasting tribute to a much-loved wife and to 59 years of a life shared together.
And as the Trees of Love shine brightly in memory of loved ones, Pat’s dove will carry her memory forward; helping to ensure that other people and their families can receive the compassionate care, comfort and “little bit of peace” that meant so much to Pat and Barry.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
11th September 2026
Doorstep Duets returns to Pilgrims Hospices
Doorstep Duets, a project created by New Adventures and Farnham Maltings as a response to social isolation, returned to Pilgrims Hospices for a third time in July 2026.
These performances bring joy to patients, carers and staff; with audience participation and reflection encouraged, they offer an opportunity for creativity and imagination to thrive.
This year’s performance, The Bench, created by choreographer Glenn Graham, and performed by dancers of Matthew Bourne’s New Adventures, tells the story of three people whose lives overlap in unexpected ways. It’s a poetic and moving exploration of memory, connection, and the quiet moments that shape us.
The park bench brings together characters from vastly different time periods. As they explore the possessions they carry with them, objects they hold dear, they find new connection and support in this chance encounter.
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Elizabeth Hollywood, Wellbeing Practitioner, said:
“Patients and carers really enjoyed the dance performance, and the buffet supplied by our hospice catering team added to a very special day. The dancers spent time talking to everyone afterwards, and were thanked by staff and patients for a brilliant performance.”
Paul Mount, a patient, added: “The dancers were good and did very well; I loved it.”
After the performance, the audience was encouraged to talk about what they’d seen or take some time to quietly think about it on their own, reflecting on how the story might mean something different to them than it does to other people.
You can keep up to date with New Adventures’ work on social media:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
7th August 2026
Will you support Pilgrims?
Isabel Smith, Senior Trusts Fundraiser, with Ryan Crown and Adrian Button from the Hospital Saturday Fund
Supporting a charity through your business is a sustainable way to raise vital funds for Pilgrims Hospices whilst increasing brand visibility at the same time.
A commercial partnership simply means raising money for a charity through product sales or service delivery, and is an easy way to embed fundraising into your daily activity. Whether you are a big corporate or a small family-run business, this is a partnership that can work for you.
Our Corporate and Trusts Partnerships Manager, Leila Ilkhan, will guide you every step of the way, ensuring the partnership is tailored to suit your business needs and putting in place the necessary agreements. All you have to do is share how your business is making a difference in the community by doing what you do best.
Could Pilgrims Hospices be your 2027 Charity of the Year?
£30,000 for 300 years
Earlier this year, we were delighted to celebrate an extraordinary year of fundraising support from Furley Page Solicitors. The law firm marked a very special anniversary and chose Pilgrims as their 2026 Charity of the Year. From climbing the Three Peaks to hosting in-house events, the team raised a staggering amount of money. Through this support, a number of projects have been made possible, including equipment for Pilgrims’ community nurses, complementary therapy teams, and furniture to make our family lounge in the Canterbury hospice feel extra homely.
Leila Ilkhan, Corporate and Trusts Partnerships Manager, with Aaron Spencer, Partner and Head of Private Client and Chair of the Furley Page Foundation
See more ways that your business can support Pilgrims:
Sarah and Danny from Injection Development Garage Services in Hersden have been committed supporters of the hospice for many years. Each year, the team sit down with our partnerships team to decide on the year’s fundraising activities.
Driving forward hospice care
This year, Sarah and Danny decided to make a donation for every engine service completed during the summer months. This is a great way for clients to feel part of supporting a charity, boost business revenue, and requires little time to run.
The team at SGS Energy based in Thanet has recently come on board as a Pilgrims Partner by pledging to make a donation for every domestic solar installation carried out.
What we’ve funded recently
Our Trusts fundraising team work closely with departments across the charity, creating a wish list of projects and items needed to deliver our services. Many of the pieces of equipment used in our hospices are funded through donations, and we would like to say thank you to the Trusts and Foundations that have supported our work.
Earlier this year, the Hospital Saturday Fund donated £2,000 to fund a bladder scanner. This piece of equipment means our nurses can preserve patient dignity and manage their pain non-invasively.
A donation of £30,000 from the Albert Hunt Trust also helped our team to buy 25 syringe drivers, which are used on our inpatient units, providing continuous medication to help manage symptoms and provide comfort to patients.
The Cantiacorum Foundation funded our Tiles of Joy project, which welcomed patients, carers and people who attend our bereavement groups to create their own ceramic tiles, each reflecting on what brings them happiness. This project helped participants to relax and be part of a wider meaningful experience.
Find out more about the support we receive from Trusts and Foundations:
If you’re feeling inspired and would like to talk to our fundraising team about how you can get involved with supporting the hospice, email [email protected].
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
21st May 2026
Pilgrims Hospices patients get creative with Hamlet writing project
Pilgrims Hospices has been working with The Marlowe Theatre to offer patients the opportunity to get involved with various creative projects, with the aim of improving wellbeing through engaging in something meaningful.
Beginning with a Hamlet-inspired musical theatre project in 2024/25, the collaboration continued with a Hamlet-themed creative writing project in Spring 2026. Over four weeks, patients came together at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury Therapy Centre. Icebreaker activities in the first session helped them feel at ease and get to know each other; they chatted about their favourite biscuits, with one patient expressing outrage at the “betrayal” of smaller-sized biscuits these days!
Patients then began their journey to becoming storytellers, starting with a game; taking turns in a circle, each person said one word in order to build a collective story. The group also had fun experimenting with words and rhyme, creating a song inspired by Hamlet and What’s Up Pussycat by Tom Jones.
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Winston the Pets As Therapy (PAT) dog also visited the workshops with Trina, his helper. The project culminated in a final session where patients showcased their creative writing to friends and family, followed by a delicious lunch, lovingly prepared by the Pilgrims catering team.
The sessions were delivered and facilitated by Margate-based creatives, Tom Adams and Ellie Ward. Tom is a socially-engaged composer, making music and sound for theatre, installations, workshops, and film; his work connects directly with real social issues like community, education, and justice. Ellie is a comedian, cabaret performer and theatre-maker.
They said:
“We aimed to inspire participants to access their creative side, using Hamlet as a springboard to empower them to write creatively. We were led by the group, so the sessions were very much directed by them and what they wanted to achieve.”
Elizabeth Goodwin, Wellbeing Practitioner, with Tom Adams and Ellie Ward
Paul Mount from East Studdal, a village in between Dover and Deal, has been attending Pilgrims Wellbeing groups for several months:
“I’ve particularly enjoyed the Shakespeare projects – I didn’t do this stuff at school! I’ve learned so much just by listening, and it’s had such a positive impact on my everyday life.
“I look forward to coming; it gets me out of the house and I enjoy spending time with people I can talk to. No one judges you here, we’re all the same.”
Paul, who attends Wellbeing groups at Pilgrims Hospices
The Hamlet projects are funded by the Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC); Shakespeare Nation is a collaboration between The Marlowe Theatre and the RSC to celebrate the works of Shakespeare and explore their relevance to modern-day Kent.
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
26th March 2026
Pilgrims Hospices Canterbury Modernisation: Update on our progress
We’re pleased to share that at the end of January 2026, we reached an important milestone: our full planning application for the modernisation and redevelopment of our London Road hospice was submitted to Canterbury City Council.
This follows months of careful design work, conversations with staff and volunteers, and feedback from patients, families, and our local community. It’s been a real team effort, and we’re grateful to everyone who has taken the time to share their thoughts and ideas along the way.
What the modernisation will bring?
Modernising our site will ensure that the facilities for patients, families, staff and volunteers at Canterbury will meet the future needs of our community.
Your support is helping us shape a hospice that feels welcoming, calm and fit for the future. Our plans include:
A brighter, more accessible hospice environment, with spaces that feel comfortable and private for everyone who walks through our doors
A brand-new Inpatient Unit (IPU), with better access to the gardens, designed to meet the needs of people who rely on our care now and in the years ahead
Modernised Victorian buildings, keeping the character of our much-loved site while improving how the space works day to day
A new therapy centre, gym, sanctuary space and landscaped gardens, giving patients and families more places for gentle activity, reflection, and wellbeing
Environmentally responsible features, such as air-source heat pumps, solar panels and improvements to biodiversity
Better movement around the whole site, making it easier for visitors, staff and volunteers to get where they need to go
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These changes will help ensure that the high-quality care we’re known for is matched by the setting in which it is delivered.
We’ll keep you posted as the planning process continues, and there will be plenty of opportunities for supporters to follow our progress and stay involved.
Looking ahead together
Pilgrims has been caring for local people from our Canterbury site for more than 40 years. This modernisation is an important step in ensuring we continue to offer specialist end-of-life care to our patients, and their families, in buildings that fully support the work of our teams.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
23rd March 2026
Living well in each moment: Lawrence’s journey with Pilgrims Hospices
Lawrence Fox, a Londoner and former construction manager who has lived in Canterbury for 27 years, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2024.
After beginning chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments at the Kent and Canterbury Hospital, he was referred by his specialist nurse to Pilgrims Hospices for additional support.
Lawrence has experienced the holistic benefits of hospice care through wellbeing groups, physiotherapy and complementary therapy:
“I do guided mindfulness sessions at Pilgrims, which I love; they help me stay present in the moment and not get so anxious about the future – that’s the secret. I’m interested in psychology and being mentally strong. And I love being around people; there are some things you can’t tell your family, but you can share them with strangers, which is so helpful.”
Lawrence also attends Living Well groups, which offer talks by speakers on a range of topics, and has had reflexology treatment: “I’d never tried that, so I thought I’d have a go! I found it very relaxing.”
Most recently, he has joined Time to Create, a therapeutic art group where patients can try various artistic activities and processes, and is currently making a memory book:
“It’s nice coming to the hospice and catching up with some friendly faces.”
Lawrence values his physical fitness and says that being active helps him manage his illness; he does Pilates and, thanks to the support he is receiving from Pilgrims, hopes to begin swimming again in the near future, having previously swam for his native London Borough of Islington – “It’s like therapy for me.”
Lawrence continued:
“Without Pilgrims, I wouldn’t have known what to do or where to go after my diagnosis. They’re always here if you need them, and having that back-up is reassuring. The groups get me out of the house and into a routine, and I’ve met so many people – including partners and carers, who are welcome at the hospice groups, as it gives them a break as well.
“I didn’t realise until now that the hospice relies so much on donations, so I want to give back in any way I can, and sharing my story is one way I can do that.”
Pilgrims run a wide range of wellbeing groups and activities designed to support patients to live well, stay connected and enjoy the best quality of life possible.
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on 01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
