In 2025, Pilgrims Hospices launched Stepping Forward – fortnightly, peer-led informal drop-in sessions at the Ashford and Thanet hospices for any adult living in east Kent.

It grew out of Stepping Stones, which is a monthly, more structured service for those who are newly bereaved. Stepping Forward sessions are led by volunteers who have benefited from Stepping Stones, and want to help others through their grief.

Lyn Stockham and Jane Thomas facilitate Stepping Forward at the Ashford hospice; they met at Stepping Stones after experiencing personal bereavements, and became great friends. When they felt ready to move on from Stepping Stones, they were invited to lead Stepping Forward as volunteers.

After Lyn’s partner died suddenly, she got in touch with Pilgrims and began attending Stepping Stones groups:

“When my partner died, it was a massive shock. This probably sounds weird, but I didn’t know if I was grieving in the “right” way – I was thinking, “Am I crying enough, or too much?” There’s only so much you feel you can put on family and friends; as much as they sympathise, their lives are moving on. I needed to see other people who were going through the same thing.

“Stepping Forward is ideal for people like me who’ve attended Stepping Stones and are ready to move on but need somewhere else to go – equally, you can come along even if you haven’t been to Stepping Stones. You’re not obligated to come every week, you don’t have to come at the start time or stay until the end. You can do it at your own pace, and you don’t have to commit to attending on particular dates – it’s just as and when you feel.

“Stepping Forward is a little lighter than Stepping Stones; it’s a safe space where you can cry or laugh without feeling guilty. Once people start chatting, things flow naturally. Friendships are made, too, which is really nice. It’s a club you don’t want to be in, but you are, so we make the best of it. And we have a laugh; people often tell us they heard us laughing, and that’s lovely because it brings some joy to the hospice environment.”

Jane’s husband received Pilgrims’ care in the community, and she had counselling with Pilgrims after he died; when those sessions ended, Jane was signposted to Stepping Stones and attended for over 12 months:

“Lyn and I feel that because we’ve been through it, we can help others navigate their grief. It’s a lovely way for us to give back. We feel a real sense of achievement knowing that we’ve made someone’s day by just being there to talk.

“It’s not all doom and gloom, either; we laugh, we talk about anything and everything, and we come away feeling quite joyful. Of course people do get upset sometimes, but we just give them a hug and tell them they’re not alone.

“We’re so pleased the Ashford group is such a success; we’re getting good feedback from people saying they’re enjoying it, and they look forward to coming.”

Linda Underwood and Paul Saunders run Stepping Forward at the Thanet hospice; they also met at Stepping Stones after their respective partners died, eventually becoming a couple. In December 2024, they were invited by the Stepping Stones team to train as volunteers for Stepping Forward, which launched at the Thanet hospice in February 2025.

Linda said: “Paul is very empathetic, kind and gentle, and that was noticed by the team running Stepping Stones. He would keep an eye on everyone in the group, and go to the people who seemed to be struggling, or who looked like they needed someone to talk to. So when they invited Paul and I to run Stepping Forward, we jumped at the chance.”

“We’ve been on courses to prepare us for running the groups – we’re really supported by the hospice to help people understand their grief. We’ve been supported all the way, from our own grief experiences, and now to giving back and helping people who are going through the same things.

“The group is so welcoming to new members, so compassionate; it’s a pleasure to see how they support each other and form friendships. There’s a lot of positivity in the group. As volunteers, we aren’t there to share our grief, but to facilitate conversations, and give people the space to share their experiences. We do tell them we’re together, and that we met through Stepping Stones, to give that little beacon of hope that there is life beyond grief.

“When we come to the hospice, we’re happy. It’s not about death here, it’s about living. It really is part of our family, part of us. It grows with us, we grow with it. We’ve developed as human beings, and as a couple, only because of the support, care and kindness we’ve experienced at Pilgrims.”

Paul continued: “It’s really strengthened our relationship, being able to volunteer together. We spend all our time together – except when we’re at work during the day – so to come here and do this as well really works for us. We love it. We’re always excited to be there alongside people as they explore their grief and share with each other in such a compassionate environment.

“The hospice helped us immensely when we needed it; we often wonder where we’d be if not for Pilgrims. Now, it’s a spiritual home for both of us. When we walk in the hospice doors, we feel their arms wrap around us. It’s a lovely place, full of hope. Stepping Stones is the reason we met; we owe it all to Pilgrims, and we want to give back in whatever way we can. We’re so lucky that we get to come here, and help others like us.”

Linda added: “Pilgrims saved our lives. People don’t realise how valuable it is; there’s so much peripheral support, and everyone should know what’s available and how Pilgrims can help.”

Stepping Forward is currently offered at our Ashford and Thanet hospices. For more information, please contact us:

• Email: [email protected]
• Telephone: 01233  504 127 (option 2)

Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.