Caring in the community: Stephen and Heather’s Hospice at Home story
When Stephen Coles looks back on the care his wife, Heather, received in her final months, he speaks with deep gratitude for the compassion and tenderness shown by the Pilgrims Hospices Hospice at Home team.
Heather, aged 64, had been living with Parkinson’s and Lewy Body Dementia. She died peacefully at home on 29 July 2025, with her husband by her side.
Heather
Heather had enjoyed a long and dedicated career at Benenden Hospital, where she worked for more than 25 years, most recently as Director of Infection Control, before retiring early due to ill health.
Stephen, who also worked at Benenden, cared for Heather at home in Ashford throughout her last year of life. As Heather became more frail and her needs increased, they were supported first by the Pilgrims community team, and later by the Pilgrims Hospice at Home carers.
Stephen and Heather met online in 2011, and their love story began soon after. They shared their first date at The Tickled Trout in Wye and, as Stephen fondly recalls, they both ordered the same meal of liver and bacon.
“I knew straight away she was the one for me,” he said.
As Heather’s condition progressed, their home was adapted to make caring for her easier, with a hospital bed moved into the downstairs room. Stephen stayed close by her side, sleeping nearby to offer reassurance and comfort.
Stephen and Hannah
Heather’s daughter, Hannah, was also a great support to both her mum and stepdad.
When the Hospice at Home team began visiting, Stephen immediately felt the difference their presence made:
“They didn’t just wash and care for Heather,” he explained. “They did so much more than I expected – washing her hair, tending to her so gently and with such kindness. I found their support really helpful for me, too. The level of care and commitment they showed was exceptional.”
The Hospice at Home team specialises in supporting patients and families at the very end of life, providing comfort, dignity, and peace at home.
Mandy Hilden, Team Lead, said:
“We know this is such a difficult time for those we visit, so we make sure we arrive with the right mindset to help both our patient and their family. We can’t make them better, so let’s make it the best end of life that we can.”
Hannah, a yoga teacher, added her own reflections:
“At first, there was an element of disappointment when we realised Mum was too poorly to be moved to the hospice. But we soon saw what the Hospice at Home team could achieve at home – it was extraordinary. The personalised, gentle care made such a difference. We all felt safe, like a weight had been lifted. There was no rush, just calm, attentive support.”
For Stephen, having the Hospice at Home team alongside them made Heather’s wish to remain in her own home possible, surrounded by love.
“After a difficult and tiring year, we were so pleased to have their support,” he said. “They cared for Heather so tenderly and were there until the very end. It gave us the chance to be with her at home, just as she wanted.”
He added: “Both Heather’s and my own children have been a tower of strength during these early weeks after Heather died. It has been a difficult time for us all, but I’ve felt it important to share the message about this very special element of Pilgrims Hospices care. The Hospice at Home team made Heather’s end-of-life journey as comfortable as possible, and we will always be grateful.”
Heather’s family chose a green burial with close family and friends, followed by a celebration of her life at Eastwell Manor, where Hannah teaches yoga. Almost 200 family, friends and colleagues came together that day to remember Heather and celebrate the life of a much-loved wife, mum and friend.
“It was a joy to be surrounded by so much love,” Stephen shared.
In Heather’s memory, the family set up a Facebook fundraising page, which has raised more than £1,400 so far, to be shared between Pilgrims Hospices and the Lewy Body Dementia support group – a lasting tribute to Heather’s life and legacy.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
6th October 2025
Lily’s nursing journey at Pilgrims Hospices: “I’m lucky and honoured to be part of such an incredible team”
Lily Epps from Hythe was inspired to become a nurse after witnessing the care her mum, Ruth, received from Pilgrims Hospices when Lily was just 18 years old.
Initially training in Brighton, Lily moved home after six months and transferred to Canterbury Christ Church University to support her family after her mum died.
Lily shares why she chose to specialise in palliative care, and what she finds so rewarding about her role.
What drew you to palliative care, and why did you decide to work at Pilgrims Hospices?
Ruth and Lily
My mum was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer when I was 7; she was brilliant and resilient, and outlived an initial three-year prognosis by several years.
After conventional treatment and receiving the all clear, Mum went into remission and began experimental treatments. She worked closely with King’s College Hospital and took part in multiple trials; this fascinated me as I was growing up.
Unfortunately, the treatment didn’t work as we’d hoped, and Mum was referred to palliative care. I remember the Pilgrims nurses coming to visit her in our lounge, they always had an incredible aura of compassion. This really humbled me, and I wanted an opportunity to give back.
My mum always said it was the nurses who would make or break her day, and I strive to be a nurse that makes our patients’ days – especially in their final few days, when it is truly imperative.
I’m lucky and honoured to be part of such an incredible team at Pilgrims; everyone I work with is an inspiration, and so passionate about the care they give.
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epps 5
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epps 4
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epp 3
What does a typical day include for a Pilgrims nurse?
On the in-patient unit (IPU), we start the day with a cuppa to take to handover, which starts at 07:30am. One nurse takes charge and attends morning meetings which includes a whole multidisciplinary team (MDT) meeting, while a second nurse completes the morning medication round.
Depending on patients’ abilities, we’ll help our Healthcare Assistants (HCAs) to shower and bathe them. This is followed by a quick catch-up on the ward so that everyone is aware of any admissions or outstanding jobs, then we tag team going for a quick break before starting the lunchtime medication round.
In the afternoon, we update syringe drivers. We also complete pending discharge paperwork and give any medications needed. We focus on “what matters to me” for each patient, every day; this may be a very small goal, like having a bath, but it can completely change how they feel.
We always try our best to facilitate birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Our catering team provide beautiful cakes that can be enjoyed by families in the garden or in our lovely rooms. Even on long days, the evening quickly comes around, and we enjoy dinner before completing another medication round, settling patients, and handing over to the night staff.
What are the best things about being a nurse at Pilgrims?
Everything is amazing – including the food!
The whole team is incredible, from volunteers to social workers, wellbeing practitioners to consultants. It feels like a family. I’ve never worked anywhere so inclusive; everyone is so lovely, bubbly, down-to-earth and supportive. We all care about the patients and each other, which is clear on a daily basis.
I get more than seven weeks’ holiday per year, which shows how Pilgrims’ care and support extends to staff, too.
They also hold staff celebration days, and twice a year we’re offered therapeutic treatments like massage or reiki that fit around our working day.
What has your role involved and what have you learnt through working at Pilgrims?
I’ve learnt so much in my role at Pilgrims, mostly about different conditions, symptom control and treatment options. Every day is different. Most patients on the IPU come in for symptom control and usually stay with us for around two weeks, whereas the timeframe for our end-of-life patients varies.
I’ve worked with the Outcome Assessment and Complexity Collaborative (OACC) group. This is the collection of data used to measure, demonstrate, and improve the quality of palliative care for patients and their families by assessing clinical outcomes, symptom burden, and the complexity of care.
I also help the team to complete the Integrated Palliative Outcome Scale (IPOS)for patients. An IPOS allows us to integrate our care and ensure we aren’t missing anything, guaranteeing our patients are put first and that we continue to improve and meet their needs.
Do you have any favourite memories or anecdotes from your time at Pilgrims?
Simple things really bring me joy at Pilgrims.
Heart-shaped tattoo inspired by a patient’s legacy work
When patients come to us, they’ve often given up; they’ve been bed-bound and stuck inside for weeks. The light in their eyes when you say they can be wheeled outside on their bed and feel the sun on their face again leaves you with no words, and then there’s the cheeky smile when you offer a patient a beer or a glass of wine – these small things make working at Pilgrims so special.
We had an incredible patient who used to be a chef; as part of her legacy, she worked closely with our wonderful occupational therapy team to create a cookbook that is now sold on Amazon and can be shared with her children.
We helped a patient and her daughter do finger prints as part of the patient’s legacy work. The daughter got this as a tattoo in a heart shape, and her mum was able to see it before she died.
We helped to organise a patient’s birthday celebration in their room on the ward. She had two young sons, and one of them had his birthday shortly afterwards, so we did another celebration for him, too.
We decorated their mum’s room whilst she was showering, then surprised her and sang happy birthday; it was a beautiful moment.
A patient’s birthday celebration on the Ashford hospice ward
One patient, Celia, and her husband, Robert, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary whilst Celia was in the hospice.
We’d had to remove Celia’s wedding ring because her fingers were swollen. I didn’t want that to be her memory of her final wedding anniversary, so I asked the kitchen to organise a surprise afternoon tea and help me set it up in the garden, and they whizzed up scones and finger sandwiches.
Celia had been bed-bound for a week, but she wanted to go outside, which we discovered via her IPOS (this is why they’re invaluable, and make the hospice so unique). We washed and dressed Celia, then carefully transferred her from her bed into the garden. Robert met us outside with the afternoon tea all set up and decorated just for them.
It’s such a happy place to work; no one wants their final days to be sad, humans are so resilient, and it’s humbling and inspiring being part of the hospice team.
Lily with Celia and Robert at their 50th wedding anniversary afternoon tea
Did you have any preconceptions about hospice care before you worked at Pilgrims?
I was lucky to experience the hospice as a visitor prior to joining the team, as I’d seen first-hand what a joyful environment it is.
People often have the misconception that hospices are all doom and gloom, but in reality they shine such a bright, positive light.
Of course there are hard days, but they bring the team closer together, as it’s such a supportive environment. There can be hard conversations, too, but you are supported to have them, with the opportunity to debrief afterwards.
Most patients understand why they’re here and just want to enjoy their final days, so it’s important to put them first and try make their wishes come true.
Why is hospice care important?
There is no greater privilege than supporting someone through the final days of their life. Pilgrims promote quality of life; we try our best to ensure patients don’t suffer, supporting them to die with peace and dignity. Although patients are our priority, we’re holistic in our approach; families are an extension of our patients, so when a patient dies, we continue to care for family members who need us.
The services that Pilgrims offer always melt my heart.
Stepping Stones is a bereavement support group run by the wonderful Annie Hogben, Expert Volunteer Development Lead, which is available to any adult living in east Kent, even if their loved one was not a patient of the hospice.
Another element I find so wonderful about Pilgrims is their legacy work; from hand casting and creating family trees, to voice recordings through the Blackbird Projectthat can be cherished forever.
This is all provided by the charity, which I think is truly incredible, and shows how unbelievably special Pilgrims is.
Pilgrims Hospices is currently recruiting for Registered General Nurses at our Ashford hospice.
If you have relevant experience and have been inspired by Lily’s story:
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
25th September 2025
Pilgrims Hospice Ashford hospice family lounge benefits from refurbishment
The family lounges at Pilgrims Hospices sites provide a space for patients and their friends and family to spend time away from their bedside, in a calm and relaxing environment.
Kitchen area in the refurbished Ashford hospice lounge
With the support of a number of Trusts, businesses and community groups, we were able to completely update the Ashford lounge space so it can be enjoyed by patients and their loved ones.
Before the renovation, the room was dark and had little natural light, the furniture was tired and the decor needed a refresh.
The lounge is now a comfortable and welcoming space, which can be enjoyed in a variety of ways.
Thank you for the kind support of:
B&Q Foundation
Green Hall Foundation
The Community of the Presentation Trust
BOB Connections, Canterbury
Ashford Invicta Masons
Mould made with hand casting kit
Amazon Wish List
The Pilgrims Amazon Wish List has been carefully put together by staff from all departments across our three hospice sites, containing items that will help us to deliver our services. From arts and crafts used in Time to Create sessions, to hand casting kits used in memory-making activities, your donation will help us to support patients and their families.
Sustainable giving
The business community across east Kent support Pilgrims in many ways, from charity of the year partnerships to organising events to raise funds. In 2025, Pilgrims has been generously supported by the team from Folkestone-based construction company, AW Group, who has donated hundreds of pounds worth of materials, which would otherwise go to waste.
We’ve received timber to help revamp our nurses station, strip lighting and glass panels to be used in our retail shops, and much more. Most recently, our maintenance team at the Canterbury hospice were able to construct a lockable store room from donated timber and a new flooring from vinyl tiles.
Thank you to the team at AW Group, who have chosen to support Pilgrims as their charity of the year for 2025. They recently raised £5,255 by cycling from Folkestone to Paris and taking part in the Pilgrims Way Challenge.
AW Group
If your business would like to support Pilgrims Hospices, please contact Leila from our corporate partnerships team to find out more:
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
1st September 2025
Partnerships in action: Over two decades of support for Pilgrims Hospices
For 28 years, the staff at Givaudan in Ashford have supported Pilgrims Hospices as their chosen charity, raising over £195,100 in vital funds.
A charity close to many of their hearts, the team has taken on a variety of challenge events and volunteered their time at Pilgrims events; always demonstrating that their dedication to the local community is at the heart of their business.
Their support has included:
Taking on charity challenges, including Pilgrims Hospices Cycle Challenge and Pilgrims Way Challenge
Organising summer BBQs and firework nights.
Volunteering during Pilgrims Tree Recycling campaign
Jonathan Fairclough, Head of Givaudan Ashford Operations, said:
“We want to express our heartfelt gratitude for the incredible work Pilgrims Hospices does. The dedication to providing compassionate care to individuals facing life-limiting illnesses speaks volumes about your commitment to enhancing lives. At Givaudan, we truly appreciate the joy and enthusiasm you bring to fundraising efforts; you put the fun in fundraising, and we’re honoured to have been able to support Pilgrims Hospices for so many years! Working alongside your wonderful team has been a privilege, and we look forward to continuing this meaningful collaboration. Thank you for all that you do for our community.”
Most recently, the Pilgrims Corporate Fundraising team went along to the annual Givaudan staff party, and were delighted to stand proud with the team to receive a donation for £11,000, raised during their 2024 fundraising activities.
Leila Ilkhan, Corporate and Trusts Partnerships Manager, said: “The support Givaudan has given Pilgrims for over two decades has touched the lives of hundreds of people across east Kent. We are incredibly grateful to have their continued support and for them to be part of our hospice journey.”
Are you feeling inspired? If the Givaudan team has given you some ideas on how your business could also support Pilgrims, we’d love to talk to you.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
13th August 2025
Anne’s once in a lifetime wing walk for Pilgrims Hospices
Pilgrims supporter Anne Willmott took to the skies for a truly unforgettable fundraising challenge – a wing walk soaring 500ft above the Kent countryside – in memory of her much-loved mum, Sandra, and to support hospice care in east Kent.
Anne with her daughter, Jade, and granddaughters
Anne recently met with the Pilgrims team at the Ashford hospice, joined by her daughter Jade and granddaughters Kaydee-Jade (9) and Gracie (almost 6). She’s no stranger to Pilgrims; her family shares a longstanding and very personal connection with the charity. Anne’s mum, Sandra, was a much-loved volunteer on the Ashford reception for many years, offering a friendly face and comforting welcome to all who came through the hospice doors.
Sandra was cared for by the Ashford hospice team and died in February 2024 – poignantly, on World Cancer Day. Anne, her father James, and the family spent precious time with Sandra while she was being cared for at the hospice, supported throughout by Pilgrims’ expert and compassionate team.
“The care Mum received was so special,” Anne said. “We were able to be with her at the hospice and felt supported every step of the way. The team were comforting and amazing. They helped us stay calm through such difficult times. They even helped me to be very positive and strong in the moment, which is something I’ll always be grateful for.”
Anne’s dad James continues to be a dedicated supporter, sharing his photography talents at Pilgrims events and giving talks about his travels, with all donations going to support local hospice care. Anne and her daughter Jade proudly carry on that photography tradition, volunteering their time and skills throughout the year.
Sandra and James
Speaking about her recent wing walk at Headcorn Aerodrome, Anne said:
“I’m so proud to have taken on this amazing challenge. Once I climbed onto the wing and was strapped in, I expected nerves – but instead, I felt an incredible sense of calm. I smiled the whole way through! As we landed, I just dissolved into tears. It was joy, pride, and emotion all at once. I really felt Mum was watching over me. Now I just want to do it all over again!”
Anne doing her wing walk
The wing walk also marked a personal milestone for Anne, celebrating her recovery from illness four years ago.
“This was a way to celebrate feeling well again, to remember Mum, and to give something back to Pilgrims for the incredible care she received. It was the most exciting way I could think of to say thank you.”
Anne launched a JustGiving pageto support her challenge and was overwhelmed by the kindness of family, friends, and even anonymous donors. She has raised more than £1,200 so far.
Anne and Sandra
“People were so generous – it really touched me. I think it speaks volumes about how much Pilgrims Hospices means to people in our community. I couldn’t thank everyone enough. It was lovely to achieve something so personal while raising funds for something so close to all our hearts.”
Sophie, from Pilgrims’ Fundraising team, congratulated Anne on behalf of the charity:
“It’s official – you’re a wing walker! We’re so proud of you, Anne.
“Your bravery, energy and compassion are inspiring. The funds you’ve raised will help us continue to provide vital care to patients and families across east Kent.”
Anne and her family continue to support Pilgrims in many ways — attending remembrance events like Sunflower Memories and honouring Sandra’s life with a leaf on the hospice’s Memory Tree.
“We’re really proud to be part of the Pilgrims family,” Anne added. “Mum loved her time volunteering, and we all feel close to her when we’re supporting the hospice. I think she’d be thrilled to see us all carrying that on.”
So, what’s next for Anne?
“How do you top a wing walk? Maybe some loop-the-loops next time!” she laughed. “Whatever comes next, I’ll keep doing what makes me happy – and supporting Pilgrims wherever I can.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
7th August 2025
Pilgrims Hospices help John and Virginia create poignant legacy with hand casting
John Godden, from St Mary’s Bay, a coastal village on Romney Marsh, is being supported by Pilgrims Hospices to live well alongside managing a life-limiting illness.
John enjoyed a long career in property maintenance, but now has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and pulmonary hypertension, which means he has to take each day at a much slower pace.
John and Virginia in the Ashford hospice garden
John said: “Retirement wasn’t in my plans! I loved my job, it was very physical and kept me active, but when I turned 70, my health took a turn.
“I was hospitalised for seven weeks due to a bad chest infection and high CO2 levels. Whilst there, a consultant mentioned referring me to the hospice. I was quite poorly and no one was sure if I’d pull through, but I did. Once I’d been discharged from hospital, I spoke to Pilgrims. I met their community team, they got to know me and explained how it would all work. A Pilgrims nurse contacts me every two weeks to check in, ask how I’m doing and find out if I need any extra support. It’s very helpful.”
John and his wife, Virginia, are making the most of Pilgrims’ varied offerings at their local hospice in Ashford. John benefitted from a breathlessness management group, which has given him useful tools to manage his symptoms at home. He is signed up for a mindfulness class in the near future, which he is looking forward to. Virginia accesses a carers support group and plans to have counselling sessions, too. The couple also attend Time to Create therapeutic art groups run by the Wellbeing team, where they have been able to create a cast of their interlinked hands, a poignant keepsake to take home and treasure.
John continued: “The groups are so important to me because they get me out. I’ve met some wonderful people; the staff here at amazing, the other people who attend are lovely. It’s a really friendly environment. The hand casting was particularly special because it’s all about connection, being close to each other, holding hands. It’s amazing how it catches all the fine details.”
Hand casting is a powerful legacy activity, providing families with a tangible memento of their loved ones. The process offers the opportunity to connect, interact and share stories and anecdotes, bringing people together at what is often a challenging time. Pilgrims can only offer this service through the support of its generous community, and the charity is truly grateful to anyone who purchases a kit via its Amazon Wish Listfor patients and families to benefit from.
John and Virginia with their hand cast
Virginia added: “Right now, Pilgrims is a lifeline for us, it’s the only consistent support we get. We know we can call the 24-hour advice line if we need anything, or if John deteriorates; the staff are so caring and attentive, we can’t fault them. Pilgrims also gets us out to socialise with other people experiencing life-limiting illnesses, which is so important; when we’re here, we really benefit.”
John continued: “We’re learning lots from Pilgrims, not just about managing my COPD but also via all the activities in Time to Create – it’s so interesting to me, because I’m not artistic, but I try! I really enjoy it. It’s different every week, there’s always something new to do.
John and Virginia’s hand cast
“I’d tell anyone in my position that they should come here, because it’s not what it seems. You might think, like I did, it’s only for old people who are on their last legs! It’s not like that at all. But equally, if I did deteriorate, I would want to come to the hospice.
“What’s important to me is being able to live a relatively normal life, which is something we often take for granted. Pilgrims is helping me to do that as much as possible, and I’m so grateful.”
We’re in need of hand casting kits for each of our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, to enable more people like John and Virginia to experience the many benefits of creating lasting legacies.
Our Amazon Wish Listhas been carefully put together by staff from all departments across our hospices, and contains items that will help us the most – including hand casting kits.
Call the Pilgrims Hospices 24-hour Advice Line on01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
