Stepping Forward: Pilgrims Hospices launches new bereavement support group
In 2025, Pilgrims Hospices launched Stepping Forward – fortnightly, peer-led informal drop-in sessions at the Ashford and Thanet hospices for any adult living in east Kent.
It grew out of Stepping Stones, which is a monthly, more structured service for those who are newly bereaved. Stepping Forward sessions are led by volunteers who have benefited from Stepping Stones, and want to help others through their grief.
Lyn Stockham and Jane Thomas facilitate Stepping Forward at the Ashford hospice; they met at Stepping Stones after experiencing personal bereavements, and became great friends. When they felt ready to move on from Stepping Stones, they were invited to lead Stepping Forward as volunteers.
Lyn
After Lyn’s partner died suddenly, she got in touch with Pilgrims and began attending Stepping Stones groups:
“When my partner died, it was a massive shock. This probably sounds weird, but I didn’t know if I was grieving in the “right” way – I was thinking, “Am I crying enough, or too much?” There’s only so much you feel you can put on family and friends; as much as they sympathise, their lives are moving on. I needed to see other people who were going through the same thing.
“Stepping Forward is ideal for people like me who’ve attended Stepping Stones and are ready to move on but need somewhere else to go – equally, you can come along even if you haven’t been to Stepping Stones. You’re not obligated to come every week, you don’t have to come at the start time or stay until the end. You can do it at your own pace, and you don’t have to commit to attending on particular dates – it’s just as and when you feel.
“Stepping Forward is a little lighter than Stepping Stones; it’s a safe space where you can cry or laugh without feeling guilty. Once people start chatting, things flow naturally. Friendships are made, too, which is really nice. It’s a club you don’t want to be in, but you are, so we make the best of it. And we have a laugh; people often tell us they heard us laughing, and that’s lovely because it brings some joy to the hospice environment.”
Jane
Jane’s husband received Pilgrims’ care in the community, and she had counselling with Pilgrims after he died; when those sessions ended, Jane was signposted to Stepping Stones and attended for over 12 months:
“Lyn and I feel that because we’ve been through it, we can help others navigate their grief. It’s a lovely way for us to give back. We feel a real sense of achievement knowing that we’ve made someone’s day by just being there to talk.
“It’s not all doom and gloom, either; we laugh, we talk about anything and everything, and we come away feeling quite joyful. Of course people do get upset sometimes, but we just give them a hug and tell them they’re not alone.
“We’re so pleased the Ashford group is such a success; we’re getting good feedback from people saying they’re enjoying it, and they look forward to coming.”
Linda said: “Paul is very empathetic, kind and gentle, and that was noticed by the team running Stepping Stones. He would keep an eye on everyone in the group, and go to the people who seemed to be struggling, or who looked like they needed someone to talk to. So when they invited Paul and I to run Stepping Forward, we jumped at the chance.”
“We’ve been on courses to prepare us for running the groups – we’re really supported by the hospice to help people understand their grief. We’ve been supported all the way, from our own grief experiences, and now to giving back and helping people who are going through the same things.
“The group is so welcoming to new members, so compassionate; it’s a pleasure to see how they support each other and form friendships. There’s a lot of positivity in the group. As volunteers, we aren’t there to share our grief, but to facilitate conversations, and give people the space to share their experiences. We do tell them we’re together, and that we met through Stepping Stones, to give that little beacon of hope that there is life beyond grief.
“When we come to the hospice, we’re happy. It’s not about death here, it’s about living. It really is part of our family, part of us. It grows with us, we grow with it. We’ve developed as human beings, and as a couple, only because of the support, care and kindness we’ve experienced at Pilgrims.”
Paul and Linda
Paul continued: “It’s really strengthened our relationship, being able to volunteer together. We spend all our time together – except when we’re at work during the day – so to come here and do this as well really works for us. We love it. We’re always excited to be there alongside people as they explore their grief and share with each other in such a compassionate environment.
“The hospice helped us immensely when we needed it; we often wonder where we’d be if not for Pilgrims. Now, it’s a spiritual home for both of us. When we walk in the hospice doors, we feel their arms wrap around us. It’s a lovely place, full of hope. Stepping Stones is the reason we met; we owe it all to Pilgrims, and we want to give back in whatever way we can. We’re so lucky that we get to come here, and help others like us.”
Linda added: “Pilgrims saved our lives. People don’t realise how valuable it is; there’s so much peripheral support, and everyone should know what’s available and how Pilgrims can help.”
Stepping Forward is currently offered at our Ashford and Thanet hospices. For more information, please contact us:
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
2nd December 2025
Growing with grief: Stepping Stones Bereavement Support Services at Pilgrims Hospices
Stepping Stones is available and free to any adult living in east Kent. There is no requirement to have previously received hospice services, and the charity support people who have experienced any form of loss.
Annie with Esther Rantzen at the parliamentary launch of National Grief Awareness Week in October 2019
Set up in 2019, it has grown from a small-scale project that initially provided bereavement support to families whose loved ones died in local hospitals.
Annie Hogben, Stepping Stones Project Development Lead, said:
“Pilgrims has always considered the bereavement needs of our families, but we also recognised the need to work alongside other providers of health and social care to ensure all bereaved people have access to local, structured support. We created an initiative to collaborate with our colleagues in East Kent Hospitals and South Kent Cruse Bereavement Support to build a robust service for all local bereaved people. This project also provided an opportunity to develop Pilgrims’ first group of Stepping Stones bereavement support volunteers, enabling people from a variety of backgrounds to use their skills and develop new ones in a rewarding activity.
“Stepping Stones was developed through research into similar bereavement support projects and an understanding of the national strategies related to effective bereavement support. Understanding what support is currently available locally was aided through our collaboration with South Kent Cruse Bereavement Care, helping us to recognise the gap in services. In its infancy, Stepping Stones aimed to provide monthly support groups for bereaved adults in east Kent. Six months after this service went live, we were invited to be part of the Parliamentary launch of National Grief Awareness Week, where we received an acknowledgement award for our Stepping Stones project.”
Stepping Stones timeline
2018 Service design and volunteer role development
2019Volunteer recruitment and training, and service launch. Service reach extended to any adult living in east Kent. Acknowledgement award received at the Parliamentary launch of National Grief Awareness Week.
2020Face-to-face service paused due to COVID; telephone support service provided during the pandemic.
2021 Re-launch as core hospice bereavement service offering equitable access to everyone living in east Kent, regardless of any previous involvement with hospice services.
2022Launch of weekly Walk & Talk groups
2023 Stepping Stones coordinator role introduced
2024Targeted promotion to GP surgeries, funeral directors, pharmacies, libraries, other community groups and services
2025 Launch of Stepping Forward, a fortnightly peer-led drop-in group, currently offered at the Ashford and Thanet hospices
Sophie Van Walwyk, Head of Bereavement Services, said:
Sophie Van Walwyk, Head of Bereavement Services
“Bereavement support is a vital part of hospice care, and I’m delighted to lead on our current three-year strategy focussing on the growth and sustainability of bereavement services for the people of east Kent.
“Stepping Stones has evolved from a small, standalone project to a key provider of bereavement support to adults in east Kent. I’m immensely proud of our bereavement services, and especially our dedicated team of staff and volunteers who make it possible for the hospice to continue supporting as many people as possible through their grief.”
What people say about Stepping Stones
“Thank you for all the support you’ve given me; you’ve helped me deal with one of the most difficult times I’ve ever been through.”
“A brilliant group and so supportive. I really look forward to my Tuesday walks. Thank you.”
“Very easy way to meet others going through bereavement, no pressure, relaxed.”
“This is an amazing service that I have really benefited from.”
Become a Stepping Stones volunteer
Our team of over 30 Stepping Stones volunteers deliver our services across east Kent. With a wealth of skills and experience, they come from all backgrounds – professional and non-professional, as well as people who’ve been through their own grief journey and now want to help others.
Pilgrims provide full training and ongoing support. For more information about becoming a Stepping Stones volunteer, or to express your interest, please email [email protected].
To find out more about Stepping Stones bereavement support in your area, or to register with our service, please contact us:
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
11th November 2025
Avneet’s journey as a junior doctor at Pilgrims Hospices: “Pilgrims enables dignity in death”
At Pilgrims Hospices, specialist palliative care doctors and consultants play a vital role in supporting patients and their families.
They focus on managing and improving the physical symptoms that accompany a variety of life-limiting illnesses, with the broader aim of helping people to live well – in both mind and body – in the time that they have left.
Avneet Kaur Dhandee, a junior doctor from London, completed a placement at the Canterbury hospice in 2025. She shares her experiences, including how her Sikh faith, informs her medical practice.
What inspired you to do your training at Pilgrims Hospices?
I’m interested in becoming a GP, with special interests in palliative care and mental health, so I felt a hospice placement would be essential to inform my future career. I’ve gained immense knowledge from my time at Pilgrims, and look forward to applying this to my practice, which will include hospitals, care homes and patients’ homes.
What has your role involved and what have you learnt through working at Pilgrims? Has anything surprised you?
Working at Pilgrims, I’ve seen how effective primary care management can aid in reducing the pressure on hospice services, which are mostly funded by charitable donations.
Pilgrims deliver skilled and compassionate end-of-life care, free of charge, to thousands of people across east Kent every year. They provide extensive services in the community, with care teams attending patients in their homes, care homes, and nursing homes. Supporting families is also a key focus; Pilgrims offer dedicated groups, from therapies to legacy work and so much more.
I’ve been able to get involved with delivering many of these services, including:
Clerking in new patients
Identifying actively dying patients and managing their care appropriately
Prescribing effective medication dosages and identifying beneficial choices of analgesia, anti-emetics, laxatives, and syringe drivers
Visiting patients at home alongside the medical team
Throughout my placement, I was guided and supported by a consultant and the wider Pilgrims team, who are all amazing!
I initially associated hospice work with sadness, grief and anguish, but I felt so much gratitude during my time at Pilgrims. Whilst some negative emotions are definitely more real than ever within the hospice environment, positive feelings shine through; families share their gratefulness for the care, patients express relief as they become the most pain-free they’ve ever been, and it’s lovely to see the comfort people feel thanks to the kindness shown by staff.
Do you have any favourite memories from your time at Pilgrims?
Something I’m most proud of is taking part in the Pilgrims Way Challenge 2025, which took place whilst I was working at the hospice. I completed the challenge with my medical school friend, Sana. We walked 35km from Dover to the Canterbury hospice, on a very hot day! When we crossed the finish line, we were cheered on by the wonderful ward nurses and patients.
Sana Hussain And Avneet Kaur Dhandee 1
Sana Hussain And Avneet Kaur Dhandee 2
Afterwards, I visited the hospice and showed my medal to the nurses and patients I’d been looking after. I was particularly emotional and overwhelmed by the donations I received from family, friends, staff, patients and patients’ families – with messages including “thank you for your kindness and care towards my sister” and “thank you for being the best doctor I’ve met.”
Sana and I are proud to have raised over £2,600 for Pilgrims!
Did you have any preconceptions/assumptions about hospice care before coming to Pilgrims?
I thought hospice care was only for those at the end of life; I imagined sick people who were very close to dying. I now know that it often starts much earlier, when life-limiting diagnoses are made. Not everyone comes to the hospice to die; symptom control is a key reason for referral, to help enable patients to live well in the community. Pilgrims has a dedicated team for community visits, which expands care beyond the hospice walls.
Why is hospice care important?
I practice the Sikh faith, and am inspired by many Sikh values in how I live my life. Core aspects of the Sikh ethos include the Panjabi terms “sewa” (selfless service) and “daya” (compassion).
As hospices are almost completely charity funded, they are a prime example of sewa and daya, helping to better thousands of people’s lives and their experiences of end-of-life care, every single year.
Not only do hospices support patients with life-limiting conditions with their physical symptoms, they also support both patients and families with the psychological challenges faced at such an emotional time.
Why do we need to talk about death and dying, and how does Pilgrims help people to do this?
I’m inspired by Bhagat Puran Singh Ji (1904-1992), a prominent Sikh personality who was a humanitarian and environmentalist. He founded Pingalwara in Amritsar, a refuge for the sick, disabled, destitute, and abandoned, which developed into a charity that continues to flourish, expand and serve hundreds of thousands.
Bhagat Puran Singh Ji once stated: “Dignity in death is a birthright of each living thing.” His advocacy for death with dignity centered on ensuring that those who were terminally ill spent their final days in cleanliness, comfort, and love, without suffering – allowing them to die peacefully, cared for, and respected.
I believe these teachings and acts of service that I have looked up to are naturally been embedded within Pilgrims’ vision and care. Pilgrims encourage patient and family involvement from the first assessment and beyond – ensuring that patient wishes and dignity are upheld to the best of our abilities. As a multidisciplinary team, we all strive to work together in assessing needs, prioritising patient comfort, providing wider support to family and friends, and ensuring patient wishes are at the forefront of everything we do.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
27th October 2025
Pilgrims Hospices helps Margaret to realise musical theatre dreams
Margaret Grand from Wingham grew up in Canterbury. With a keen interest in singing and theatre, she did choral singing at school and sang in choirs later in life – including with Ann Robertson, Pilgrims Hospices’ founder, who Margaret knew from her village community.
John and Margaret on their wedding day
As a teenager, Margaret was offered the opportunity to study at the prestigious Italia Conti performing arts institution, but her mother wouldn’t let her go; Margaret was an only child, and her mother was afraid she would move away and not return home.
Margaret instead began working at Boots in Canterbury city centre, where she met her husband, John, who was also a musician. Together, they played in bands and performed locally.
In 2021, Margaret was diagnosed with cancer and received a life-limiting prognosis. Since being referred to Pilgrims Hospices, she has had a second chance to flex her theatrical prowess through a project with the Marlowe Theatre – showing how hospice care is not only for those at the end-of-life, but also empowers people to live well, and fully, in the time they have left.
Margaret said:
“I’d had problems with my leg, I kept getting cellulitis; I was going to the GP surgery regularly to have dressings on. The nurse noticed a spot on my leg, which started to change colour, so she asked the doctor to check it and he did an urgent referral. A biopsy at Kent & Canterbury hospital showed that I had Merkel cell carcinoma, a rare type of skin cancer. The nurses explained that I’d need to go to Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead for treatment, and have scans for five years.
“In 2022, I started to get large tumours on my leg, and I got upset every time I had it dressed. I remember the nurse, Bonnie, saying: “Margaret, I can understand why you get upset, because most people don’t see their tumours.” They just got worse and worse. I was sleeping on the sofa at home because I was so uncomfortable.
“Later that year, I went to see Les Miserables at the Marlowe Theatre with my daughter, Michelle. During the interval, I had to leave because I felt so unwell. A week later, I collapsed at home – I was just like a puppet. I called out to John, but he couldn’t get me up, so he phoned for an ambulance. I asked the paramedic to put me on the sofa and assured them I’d be OK, but they took my temperature and it was sky high, so they had to admit me to hospital, where I was diagnosed with sepsis. I was there for about a month, and I also caught COVID!”
Michelle added:
“Mum was discharged shortly before Christmas and was due to see her consultant around this time, but as she had been so unwell, I attended on her behalf. I explained what had happened, and the consultant was concerned. She said: “I can tell how ill your mum must be. I really think she needs palliative care, so I’m going to do a referral.” That was a massive shock; I came out of the appointment shaking. To me, palliative care meant Mum was at the end of life, on a downward spiral. But then things turned around very quickly; she was quite stable, and she started chemotherapy in January 2023.”
Margaret with her daughter, Michelle
Margaret continued: “They told me the chemo would be potent, could potentially make me very ill, and would cause me to lose my hair. On the whole, I was actually quite lucky; l didn’t feel sick at all and I pretty much sailed through the treatment. When I came out of hospital, they gave me a hospital bed at home, which made things a little easier. It was around this time that Pilgrims got in touch with me.”
Alongside pain management and symptom control, Margaret has benefitted from a range of wellbeing services at Pilgrims, including acupuncture and Wellbeing groups, through which she and other patients were involved in a musical theatre project with the Marlowe Theatre.
She also joins regular virtual meet-ups via Zoom, which offer an opportunity to connect with other patients from the comfort of their own homes.
In November 2023, John lost his balance and fell backwards at home, hit the back of his neck, severed his spinal cord and died within a week:
“Just like that. I couldn’t believe it; he’d been out cutting the grass that afternoon. He was 80. Since I’d been diagnosed, we’d always thought it was going to be me who went first – exactly a year before, when I was hospitalised with sepsis, it certainly looked that way.”
Pilgrims supported Margaret’s family through this very difficult time; her granddaughter, Holly, was offered counselling support as she struggled to cope with John’s sudden death.
Margaret was also invited for a Christmas meal at the Ashford hospice, where she could experience the environment in a relaxed, informal way.
She said: “I feel like everyone at Pilgrims is a friend, it’s a lovely community.
“I’ve got nothing but praise for the staff; they must see so many people, but they still know your name.
“Chatting with Palak from the Wellbeing team, I mentioned my love of singing and my interest in theatre, and she told me about a Hamlet-inspired project for patients that Pilgrims was facilitating with the Marlowe.
DSC 5577 01
DSC 5418 01
Margaret took part in Hamlet workshops with the Marlowe Theatre at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury
“When I was at high school, I had a marvellous music teacher – Mr Sellers – who saw my potential. He put me in every single play, and I even sung in Canterbury Cathedral. I was also part of the Young Marlowe Theatre Playgoers; we’d do readings and put on the odd play, but it was more of a training programme. It was completely free to attend, but in return, we would go to the Marlowe and give out refreshments to the actors.
“My best friend, Catherine, was also into the theatre. Her father offered to pay for both of us to go to the Italia Conti performing arts school in London, but my mum wouldn’t let me go. And because I couldn’t go, Catherine wouldn’t go – I messed up her chances, too! I still feel guilty about that!
“We used to have village shows in Wingham, and I always took part in those. I also sang in a band with John on guitar and our friend, Dick; we’d go out gigging round the local pubs, we had so much fun. Whenever Michelle and I go to the Marlowe now, I always say to her: “I wish that was me on the stage”.”
Margaret’s husband, John (second from left), playing with the band
In 2024/25, Pilgrims organised a musical theatre project with the Marlowe, open to patients, families, staff and volunteers, which helped Margaret to realise her dream. Workshops were held at the Canterbury hospice Therapy Centre, facilitated by local performers Tom Adams and Lillian Henry, with guest speakers from the Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC).
This culminated in the group writing and performing a song based around Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and a special event at the Marlowe in April 2025.
Margaret read a sonnet on stage and was invited to talk about her history with the theatre. She was also delighted to sit with an RSC representative during the event.
Margaret performing at the Marlowe Theatre in April 2025
She said: “I’m so touched that the RSC, and people like Tom and Lillian, will give their time to Pilgrims to create experiences like this for patients.”
Pilgrims continue to work closely with the Marlowe, and are planning another creative project in the near future.
Margaret added:
“Before I got involved with Pilgrims, I thought a hospice was a place you go to die. Now I know it’s so much more than that, and I tell everyone!
“I remember sitting in the Thanet hospice reception waiting for my acupuncture appointment. It wasn’t until my last session that I spotted the wards, which goes to show that hospices aren’t just beds on a ward.
“It’s totally different to what people think.
“Pilgrims don’t just offer end-of-life care, but also a whole range of wellbeing services and groups. It’s really opened my eyes.”
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on 01233 504 133
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices support thousands of people across east Kent who are living with life-limiting conditions.
Although hospice care is often associated with beds on in-patient wards, much of Pilgrims’ care takes place in the community – in people’s own homes, and in care homes.
Thanks to skilled, compassionate and dedicated community teams, Pilgrims is able to bring hospice care directly to patients who wish to remain at home, or in familiar surroundings, rather than be on a ward. This includes Hospice at Home, a team of Healthcare Assistants (HCAs) who attend to patients who are at the very end of their life and/or who have suddenly, rapidly deteriorated.
Jo Cottam, a retired NHS Senior Manager turned holiday let owner from Tenterden, experienced Pilgrims’ community care after her mum, Patricia Edwards, was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She shares how Pilgrims supported her mum and their family at the end of Patricia’s life.
Jo shares her story:
“In 2019, my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She lived in a charming cottage on our property, spending her days with us in the main house and returning to her cottage at night.
In early July 2025, Mum’s health took a concerning turn. She stopped eating for about a week, drank less than we hoped, and lost her mobility, making walking (especially navigating steps between our house and her cottage) extremely difficult and distressing for her. My husband, Simon, and her carer, Steve, provided essential support, but we grew increasingly worried.
We decided to keep Mum in her cottage full-time, as moving her was too challenging. This meant constant supervision, as she couldn’t be left alone. Encouraging her to take fluids was a slow, painstaking process of syringing small amounts into her mouth. On 10 July, we called our GP, who visited promptly. He prescribed antibiotics for a possible UTI, end-of-life medications, and arranged a referral to Pilgrims’ Hospice at Home team.
Jo’s mum, Patricia
After a three-day course of antibiotics, Mum began to improve, slowly resuming eating and drinking.
Soon after, I received a call offering additional care support, which we desperately needed. Mum required physical assistance to move between her bed and sofa, constant prompting to eat and drink, and round-the-clock supervision.
Unfortunately, the caller later informed us that no additional care could be arranged immediately, though an equipment assessment was scheduled for the next day.
To our surprise and relief, that evening, two wonderful Hospice at Home carers, Jo and Sandra, arrived and said they would visit Mum twice daily. I was initially apprehensive, as Mum was used to familiar faces, but Jo and Sandra’s warmth and gentle introductions put her at ease. Mum smiled and co-operated fully, a testament to their kind and professional approach.
Over the next few weeks, every pair of hospice carers who visited showed the same compassion, treating Mum with dignity and respect.
They also supported our family, offering practical advice and emotional reassurance in overwhelming moments.
As a former Senior NHS Manager with over 25 years of experience, and with my husband, a retired Consultant Anaesthetist, we both recognise exceptional care when we see it. The hospice carers delivered first-class service.
We were astonished to learn they travelled significant distances to reach us in Tenterden, covering a vast geographical area. The team, led by the remarkable Mandy Hilden, exemplified dedication. Mandy’s hands-on leadership was inspiring – she never asked her team to do anything she wouldn’t do herself.
The carers went above and beyond, ensuring Mum was clean, dressed in her preferred clothes, and had her hair washed and styled. They made her laugh and calmed her anxieties, especially when she became distressed during repositioning, gently reassuring her even when she grabbed them in fear.
The rapport we built with the hospice carers in such a short time was extraordinary.
On 24 July 2025, Caitlin, a Palliative Specialist Care Nurse from Pilgrims, visited to assess Mum for potential future hospice care. Caitlin’s professional yet friendly demeanour brought smiles to Mum’s face. She patiently explained everything and answered our questions thoroughly. At the time, Caitlin was optimistic about Mum’s condition, believing hospice care wouldn’t be needed soon.
Tragically, on 29 July 2025, Mum passed away suddenly and peacefully at home, with us by her side, holding her hand. Caitlin, upon hearing the news, called to offer her condolences and support. Her kindness, taking the time to listen and guide me toward the hospice’s counselling services, meant the world during such a shocking and painful moment.
Pilgrims is an exceptional organisation, dedicated to supporting individuals with terminal illnesses, offering compassionate care in both community settings and specialised units. They prioritise the needs and dignity of each person, ensuring the highest quality of care during their final days.
Additionally, Pilgrims provides a nurturing environment for families, fostering support and understanding throughout the process.
The hospice team’s communication, care, and support for both Mum and our family were exceptional. We are immensely grateful for this vital service, which relies so heavily on charitable donations. Their compassion and professionalism made an unbearable time more bearable, and we cannot thank them enough.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
7th August 2025
Pilgrims Hospices help John and Virginia create poignant legacy with hand casting
John Godden, from St Mary’s Bay, a coastal village on Romney Marsh, is being supported by Pilgrims Hospices to live well alongside managing a life-limiting illness.
John enjoyed a long career in property maintenance, but now has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and pulmonary hypertension, which means he has to take each day at a much slower pace.
John and Virginia in the Ashford hospice garden
John said: “Retirement wasn’t in my plans! I loved my job, it was very physical and kept me active, but when I turned 70, my health took a turn.
“I was hospitalised for seven weeks due to a bad chest infection and high CO2 levels. Whilst there, a consultant mentioned referring me to the hospice. I was quite poorly and no one was sure if I’d pull through, but I did. Once I’d been discharged from hospital, I spoke to Pilgrims. I met their community team, they got to know me and explained how it would all work. A Pilgrims nurse contacts me every two weeks to check in, ask how I’m doing and find out if I need any extra support. It’s very helpful.”
John and his wife, Virginia, are making the most of Pilgrims’ varied offerings at their local hospice in Ashford. John benefitted from a breathlessness management group, which has given him useful tools to manage his symptoms at home. He is signed up for a mindfulness class in the near future, which he is looking forward to. Virginia accesses a carers support group and plans to have counselling sessions, too. The couple also attend Time to Create therapeutic art groups run by the Wellbeing team, where they have been able to create a cast of their interlinked hands, a poignant keepsake to take home and treasure.
John continued: “The groups are so important to me because they get me out. I’ve met some wonderful people; the staff here at amazing, the other people who attend are lovely. It’s a really friendly environment. The hand casting was particularly special because it’s all about connection, being close to each other, holding hands. It’s amazing how it catches all the fine details.”
Hand casting is a powerful legacy activity, providing families with a tangible memento of their loved ones. The process offers the opportunity to connect, interact and share stories and anecdotes, bringing people together at what is often a challenging time. Pilgrims can only offer this service through the support of its generous community, and the charity is truly grateful to anyone who purchases a kit via its Amazon Wish Listfor patients and families to benefit from.
John and Virginia with their hand cast
Virginia added: “Right now, Pilgrims is a lifeline for us, it’s the only consistent support we get. We know we can call the 24-hour advice line if we need anything, or if John deteriorates; the staff are so caring and attentive, we can’t fault them. Pilgrims also gets us out to socialise with other people experiencing life-limiting illnesses, which is so important; when we’re here, we really benefit.”
John continued: “We’re learning lots from Pilgrims, not just about managing my COPD but also via all the activities in Time to Create – it’s so interesting to me, because I’m not artistic, but I try! I really enjoy it. It’s different every week, there’s always something new to do.
John and Virginia’s hand cast
“I’d tell anyone in my position that they should come here, because it’s not what it seems. You might think, like I did, it’s only for old people who are on their last legs! It’s not like that at all. But equally, if I did deteriorate, I would want to come to the hospice.
“What’s important to me is being able to live a relatively normal life, which is something we often take for granted. Pilgrims is helping me to do that as much as possible, and I’m so grateful.”
We’re in need of hand casting kits for each of our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, to enable more people like John and Virginia to experience the many benefits of creating lasting legacies.
Our Amazon Wish Listhas been carefully put together by staff from all departments across our hospices, and contains items that will help us the most – including hand casting kits.
Call the Pilgrims Hospices 24-hour Advice Line on01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
