Pilgrims Hospices helps Margaret to realise musical theatre dreams
Margaret Grand from Wingham grew up in Canterbury. With a keen interest in singing and theatre, she did choral singing at school and sang in choirs later in life – including with Ann Robertson, Pilgrims Hospices’ founder, who Margaret knew from her village community.
John and Margaret on their wedding day
As a teenager, Margaret was offered the opportunity to study at the prestigious Italia Conti performing arts institution, but her mother wouldn’t let her go; Margaret was an only child, and her mother was afraid she would move away and not return home.
Margaret instead began working at Boots in Canterbury city centre, where she met her husband, John, who was also a musician. Together, they played in bands and performed locally.
In 2021, Margaret was diagnosed with cancer and received a life-limiting prognosis. Since being referred to Pilgrims Hospices, she has had a second chance to flex her theatrical prowess through a project with the Marlowe Theatre – showing how hospice care is not only for those at the end-of-life, but also empowers people to live well, and fully, in the time they have left.
Margaret said:
“I’d had problems with my leg, I kept getting cellulitis; I was going to the GP surgery regularly to have dressings on. The nurse noticed a spot on my leg, which started to change colour, so she asked the doctor to check it and he did an urgent referral. A biopsy at Kent & Canterbury hospital showed that I had Merkel cell carcinoma, a rare type of skin cancer. The nurses explained that I’d need to go to Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead for treatment, and have scans for five years.
“In 2022, I started to get large tumours on my leg, and I got upset every time I had it dressed. I remember the nurse, Bonnie, saying: “Margaret, I can understand why you get upset, because most people don’t see their tumours.” They just got worse and worse. I was sleeping on the sofa at home because I was so uncomfortable.
“Later that year, I went to see Les Miserables at the Marlowe Theatre with my daughter, Michelle. During the interval, I had to leave because I felt so unwell. A week later, I collapsed at home – I was just like a puppet. I called out to John, but he couldn’t get me up, so he phoned for an ambulance. I asked the paramedic to put me on the sofa and assured them I’d be OK, but they took my temperature and it was sky high, so they had to admit me to hospital, where I was diagnosed with sepsis. I was there for about a month, and I also caught COVID!”
Michelle added:
“Mum was discharged shortly before Christmas and was due to see her consultant around this time, but as she had been so unwell, I attended on her behalf. I explained what had happened, and the consultant was concerned. She said: “I can tell how ill your mum must be. I really think she needs palliative care, so I’m going to do a referral.” That was a massive shock; I came out of the appointment shaking. To me, palliative care meant Mum was at the end of life, on a downward spiral. But then things turned around very quickly; she was quite stable, and she started chemotherapy in January 2023.”
Margaret with her daughter, Michelle
Margaret continued: “They told me the chemo would be potent, could potentially make me very ill, and would cause me to lose my hair. On the whole, I was actually quite lucky; l didn’t feel sick at all and I pretty much sailed through the treatment. When I came out of hospital, they gave me a hospital bed at home, which made things a little easier. It was around this time that Pilgrims got in touch with me.”
Alongside pain management and symptom control, Margaret has benefitted from a range of wellbeing services at Pilgrims, including acupuncture and Wellbeing groups, through which she and other patients were involved in a musical theatre project with the Marlowe Theatre.
She also joins regular virtual meet-ups via Zoom, which offer an opportunity to connect with other patients from the comfort of their own homes.
In November 2023, John lost his balance and fell backwards at home, hit the back of his neck, severed his spinal cord and died within a week:
“Just like that. I couldn’t believe it; he’d been out cutting the grass that afternoon. He was 80. Since I’d been diagnosed, we’d always thought it was going to be me who went first – exactly a year before, when I was hospitalised with sepsis, it certainly looked that way.”
Pilgrims supported Margaret’s family through this very difficult time; her granddaughter, Holly, was offered counselling support as she struggled to cope with John’s sudden death.
Margaret was also invited for a Christmas meal at the Ashford hospice, where she could experience the environment in a relaxed, informal way.
She said: “I feel like everyone at Pilgrims is a friend, it’s a lovely community.
“I’ve got nothing but praise for the staff; they must see so many people, but they still know your name.
“Chatting with Palak from the Wellbeing team, I mentioned my love of singing and my interest in theatre, and she told me about a Hamlet-inspired project for patients that Pilgrims was facilitating with the Marlowe.
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Margaret took part in Hamlet workshops with the Marlowe Theatre at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury
“When I was at high school, I had a marvellous music teacher – Mr Sellers – who saw my potential. He put me in every single play, and I even sung in Canterbury Cathedral. I was also part of the Young Marlowe Theatre Playgoers; we’d do readings and put on the odd play, but it was more of a training programme. It was completely free to attend, but in return, we would go to the Marlowe and give out refreshments to the actors.
“My best friend, Catherine, was also into the theatre. Her father offered to pay for both of us to go to the Italia Conti performing arts school in London, but my mum wouldn’t let me go. And because I couldn’t go, Catherine wouldn’t go – I messed up her chances, too! I still feel guilty about that!
“We used to have village shows in Wingham, and I always took part in those. I also sang in a band with John on guitar and our friend, Dick; we’d go out gigging round the local pubs, we had so much fun. Whenever Michelle and I go to the Marlowe now, I always say to her: “I wish that was me on the stage”.”
Margaret’s husband, John (second from left), playing with the band
In 2024/25, Pilgrims organised a musical theatre project with the Marlowe, open to patients, families, staff and volunteers, which helped Margaret to realise her dream. Workshops were held at the Canterbury hospice Therapy Centre, facilitated by local performers Tom Adams and Lillian Henry, with guest speakers from the Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC).
This culminated in the group writing and performing a song based around Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and a special event at the Marlowe in April 2025.
Margaret read a sonnet on stage and was invited to talk about her history with the theatre. She was also delighted to sit with an RSC representative during the event.
Margaret performing at the Marlowe Theatre in April 2025
She said: “I’m so touched that the RSC, and people like Tom and Lillian, will give their time to Pilgrims to create experiences like this for patients.”
Pilgrims continue to work closely with the Marlowe, and are planning another creative project in the near future.
Margaret added:
“Before I got involved with Pilgrims, I thought a hospice was a place you go to die. Now I know it’s so much more than that, and I tell everyone!
“I remember sitting in the Thanet hospice reception waiting for my acupuncture appointment. It wasn’t until my last session that I spotted the wards, which goes to show that hospices aren’t just beds on a ward.
“It’s totally different to what people think.
“Pilgrims don’t just offer end-of-life care, but also a whole range of wellbeing services and groups. It’s really opened my eyes.”
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on 01233 504 133
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices support thousands of people across east Kent who are living with life-limiting conditions.
Although hospice care is often associated with beds on in-patient wards, much of Pilgrims’ care takes place in the community – in people’s own homes, and in care homes.
Thanks to skilled, compassionate and dedicated community teams, Pilgrims is able to bring hospice care directly to patients who wish to remain at home, or in familiar surroundings, rather than be on a ward. This includes Hospice at Home, a team of Healthcare Assistants (HCAs) who attend to patients who are at the very end of their life and/or who have suddenly, rapidly deteriorated.
Jo Cottam, a retired NHS Senior Manager turned holiday let owner from Tenterden, experienced Pilgrims’ community care after her mum, Patricia Edwards, was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She shares how Pilgrims supported her mum and their family at the end of Patricia’s life.
Jo shares her story:
“In 2019, my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She lived in a charming cottage on our property, spending her days with us in the main house and returning to her cottage at night.
In early July 2025, Mum’s health took a concerning turn. She stopped eating for about a week, drank less than we hoped, and lost her mobility, making walking (especially navigating steps between our house and her cottage) extremely difficult and distressing for her. My husband, Simon, and her carer, Steve, provided essential support, but we grew increasingly worried.
We decided to keep Mum in her cottage full-time, as moving her was too challenging. This meant constant supervision, as she couldn’t be left alone. Encouraging her to take fluids was a slow, painstaking process of syringing small amounts into her mouth. On 10 July, we called our GP, who visited promptly. He prescribed antibiotics for a possible UTI, end-of-life medications, and arranged a referral to Pilgrims’ Hospice at Home team.
Jo’s mum, Patricia
After a three-day course of antibiotics, Mum began to improve, slowly resuming eating and drinking.
Soon after, I received a call offering additional care support, which we desperately needed. Mum required physical assistance to move between her bed and sofa, constant prompting to eat and drink, and round-the-clock supervision.
Unfortunately, the caller later informed us that no additional care could be arranged immediately, though an equipment assessment was scheduled for the next day.
To our surprise and relief, that evening, two wonderful Hospice at Home carers, Jo and Sandra, arrived and said they would visit Mum twice daily. I was initially apprehensive, as Mum was used to familiar faces, but Jo and Sandra’s warmth and gentle introductions put her at ease. Mum smiled and co-operated fully, a testament to their kind and professional approach.
Over the next few weeks, every pair of hospice carers who visited showed the same compassion, treating Mum with dignity and respect.
They also supported our family, offering practical advice and emotional reassurance in overwhelming moments.
As a former Senior NHS Manager with over 25 years of experience, and with my husband, a retired Consultant Anaesthetist, we both recognise exceptional care when we see it. The hospice carers delivered first-class service.
We were astonished to learn they travelled significant distances to reach us in Tenterden, covering a vast geographical area. The team, led by the remarkable Mandy Hilden, exemplified dedication. Mandy’s hands-on leadership was inspiring – she never asked her team to do anything she wouldn’t do herself.
The carers went above and beyond, ensuring Mum was clean, dressed in her preferred clothes, and had her hair washed and styled. They made her laugh and calmed her anxieties, especially when she became distressed during repositioning, gently reassuring her even when she grabbed them in fear.
The rapport we built with the hospice carers in such a short time was extraordinary.
On 24 July 2025, Caitlin, a Palliative Specialist Care Nurse from Pilgrims, visited to assess Mum for potential future hospice care. Caitlin’s professional yet friendly demeanour brought smiles to Mum’s face. She patiently explained everything and answered our questions thoroughly. At the time, Caitlin was optimistic about Mum’s condition, believing hospice care wouldn’t be needed soon.
Tragically, on 29 July 2025, Mum passed away suddenly and peacefully at home, with us by her side, holding her hand. Caitlin, upon hearing the news, called to offer her condolences and support. Her kindness, taking the time to listen and guide me toward the hospice’s counselling services, meant the world during such a shocking and painful moment.
Pilgrims is an exceptional organisation, dedicated to supporting individuals with terminal illnesses, offering compassionate care in both community settings and specialised units. They prioritise the needs and dignity of each person, ensuring the highest quality of care during their final days.
Additionally, Pilgrims provides a nurturing environment for families, fostering support and understanding throughout the process.
The hospice team’s communication, care, and support for both Mum and our family were exceptional. We are immensely grateful for this vital service, which relies so heavily on charitable donations. Their compassion and professionalism made an unbearable time more bearable, and we cannot thank them enough.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
8th October 2025
Caring in the community: Stephen and Heather’s Hospice at Home story
When Stephen Coles looks back on the care his wife, Heather, received in her final months, he speaks with deep gratitude for the compassion and tenderness shown by the Pilgrims Hospices Hospice at Home team.
Heather, aged 64, had been living with Parkinson’s and Lewy Body Dementia. She died peacefully at home on 29 July 2025, with her husband by her side.
Heather
Heather had enjoyed a long and dedicated career at Benenden Hospital, where she worked for more than 25 years, most recently as Director of Infection Control, before retiring early due to ill health.
Stephen, who also worked at Benenden, cared for Heather at home in Ashford throughout her last year of life. As Heather became more frail and her needs increased, they were supported first by the Pilgrims community team, and later by the Pilgrims Hospice at Home carers.
Stephen and Heather met online in 2011, and their love story began soon after. They shared their first date at The Tickled Trout in Wye and, as Stephen fondly recalls, they both ordered the same meal of liver and bacon.
“I knew straight away she was the one for me,” he said.
As Heather’s condition progressed, their home was adapted to make caring for her easier, with a hospital bed moved into the downstairs room. Stephen stayed close by her side, sleeping nearby to offer reassurance and comfort.
Stephen and Hannah
Heather’s daughter, Hannah, was also a great support to both her mum and stepdad.
When the Hospice at Home team began visiting, Stephen immediately felt the difference their presence made:
“They didn’t just wash and care for Heather,” he explained. “They did so much more than I expected – washing her hair, tending to her so gently and with such kindness. I found their support really helpful for me, too. The level of care and commitment they showed was exceptional.”
The Hospice at Home team specialises in supporting patients and families at the very end of life, providing comfort, dignity, and peace at home.
Mandy Hilden, Team Lead, said:
“We know this is such a difficult time for those we visit, so we make sure we arrive with the right mindset to help both our patient and their family. We can’t make them better, so let’s make it the best end of life that we can.”
Hannah, a yoga teacher, added her own reflections:
“At first, there was an element of disappointment when we realised Mum was too poorly to be moved to the hospice. But we soon saw what the Hospice at Home team could achieve at home – it was extraordinary. The personalised, gentle care made such a difference. We all felt safe, like a weight had been lifted. There was no rush, just calm, attentive support.”
For Stephen, having the Hospice at Home team alongside them made Heather’s wish to remain in her own home possible, surrounded by love.
“After a difficult and tiring year, we were so pleased to have their support,” he said. “They cared for Heather so tenderly and were there until the very end. It gave us the chance to be with her at home, just as she wanted.”
He added: “Both Heather’s and my own children have been a tower of strength during these early weeks after Heather died. It has been a difficult time for us all, but I’ve felt it important to share the message about this very special element of Pilgrims Hospices care. The Hospice at Home team made Heather’s end-of-life journey as comfortable as possible, and we will always be grateful.”
Heather’s family chose a green burial with close family and friends, followed by a celebration of her life at Eastwell Manor, where Hannah teaches yoga. Almost 200 family, friends and colleagues came together that day to remember Heather and celebrate the life of a much-loved wife, mum and friend.
“It was a joy to be surrounded by so much love,” Stephen shared.
In Heather’s memory, the family set up a Facebook fundraising page, which has raised more than £1,400 so far, to be shared between Pilgrims Hospices and the Lewy Body Dementia support group – a lasting tribute to Heather’s life and legacy.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
12th September 2025
“I can’t praise the hospice highly enough”: Why David is leaving a gift to Pilgrims in his Will
Pilgrims Hospices cared for David’s wife, Dawn, at the end of her life.
Here, David shares why he has chosen to leave a gift in his Will to Pilgrims.
“My wife, Dawn, battled cancer for 14 years and sadly passed away on 23 July 2024. The service and support that the Pilgrims team provided from the Margate hospice as part of Dawn’s Hospice at Home care package was exemplary. At a time when I was very stressed and highly emotional, the help and understanding that these very kind people gave me was very comforting. My wife was very well cared for and had a perfectly dignified passing and for that I shall be eternally grateful to you.
I would strongly recommend that people should consider leaving something in their Will to Pilgrims Hospices, however small. Pilgrims is a charity, and whilst they do provide a free service to those people who need their help and support at such an emotional time, it shouldn’t be forgotten that it does cost money to actually provide that help and support. They need to continually raise money to continue financing that service.
A personal big thank you for all the help and support that I received from the Pilgrims team. I couldn’t have got through my Dawn’s end-of-life without it. I can’t praise the hospice highly enough.”
–David, Dawn’s husband
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
24th March 2023
Penny praises Pilgrims Hospices as “a place to live, a caring community”
Penny Murphy from Tenterden was diagnosed with colon and liver cancer in 2020 and given 18 months to live; she began treatment and surpassed her initial prognosis.
In January 2023, Penny decided to stop treatment to focus on her quality of life and make the most of the time she has.
Pilgrims Hospices is now supporting Penny to live well in each moment and plan for her future, enabling her to spend more time making precious memories with loved ones.
A former nanny, Penny is described by friends as “beautiful, incredibly funny, silly, adorable, and an absolute ‘one-in-a-million’ lady”. They are currently running a GoFundMe campaign to help Penny tick important goals off her bucket list, including a trip to Italy with her husband, John.
Penny said: “I’d been living with cancer for two and half years before I was referred to Pilgrims. I was so isolated at home. I dreaded the idea of hospice care, but when I arrived for my first holistic assessment, it didn’t feel like a place to die – it is a place to live, a caring community. I was greeted so warmly. The reception staff knew who I was and who I was there to see.
“Pilgrims sorted everything for me, they are so helpful and compassionate. I was able to speak with someone immediately; the whole team is efficient. I met Alison Wiltshire, Community Nursing Team Leader and Palliative Specialist Nurse (PSN), and we discussed my history and sorted out my disability badge, benefits, pain medication and future wishes. It’s the first time since being diagnosed that I’ve felt in control and empowered to make decisions about my care, which is phenomenal.”
Alison Wiltshire, Community Nursing Team Leader and PSN, with Penny
A common perception of palliative care is that it takes place only on hospice wards, but the majority of Pilgrims patients are cared for within the east Kent community. In 2022-23, 2,426 patients have had input from the clinical team – PSNs, doctors and Advanced Clinical Practitioners (ACPs) – in the community, including in patients’ own homes.
Penny
Alison added: “Bringing patients into clinic allows them to discover what a hospice feels like, and can allay fears and anxiety about what hospices are. Having someone like Penny experience our community services and be willing to spread the word to encourage others is just what we need. It helps to dispel myths about hospice care.”
Penny is currently accessing Pilgrims’ spiritual care and complementary therapy services. Her dogs, Ruger and Elsa, can also come to the hospice with her.
She continued: “I’m dying – I’m under no illusion about that – but Pilgrims gives me peace of mind; it’s so reassuring knowing that my future care will be on my terms. I think this is really important.
“To anyone being offered hospice care, I would say: “Go for a visit, talk to team, try it out”. You’ll be surprised how positive it is; it’s nothing at all to be scared of.”
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
23rd December 2022
Team Chocolate Orange share the love with Pilgrims Hospices
A Chocolate Orange treat for staff on all three Pilgrims Hospices sites was delivered by Allan Pippard from Faversham Town Walking Football in December 2022.
Allan and his wife Joanne arrived with 300 donated oranges to bring festive cheer to staff throughout the charity on behalf of Team Chocolate Orange. It’s their way of sending a much-deserved thank you for providing essential services 365 days a year, caring for those in need and their loved ones, and for always being there when they are needed.
The Team Chocolate Orange campaign was started by Chris Lamb, whose son, Elliott, spent a lot of time in hospital and very sadly passed away just before Christmas 2010, aged just four years old. The following year, Chris decided he wanted to do something positive to cherish Elliott’s memory and Team Chocolate Orange was born. Seeing the campaign as a way to turn a negative into a positive, Chris embarked on a mission to thank NHS staff for all they did and decided to give a Chocolate Orange to as many of them as he could.
Having started in St. Helens, Merseyside in 2011 with 145 Chocolate Oranges, the campaign, now running in areas from Newcastle to London, has resulted in over 100,000 donated Chocolate Oranges being gifted to deserving recipients.
Allan and Jo have a personal connection to Pilgrims Hospices; Jo’s Mum, Diane Mewett was cared for by the Canterbury care team in the Spring of 2017. Diane expressed a special wish to be part of her daughter’s wedding and celebrate alongside her family. Allan and Jo brought their wedding plans forward, and the team at the hospice did everything they could to help the family make a truly memorable day. A fabulous white wedding and blessing took place within the gardens and family room, where Diane was able to share the couple’s special day.
Jo and Allan with Jo’s mum, Diane, on their wedding day at the hospice
While delivering the chocolatey treats, they were reunited with some of the care team who looked after Jo’s Mum.
Allan said: “We are delighted to be the bearers of these treats for the hospices, we are regular supporters of Team Chocolate Orange at Faversham Walking Football and are delighted to be here to deliver some good cheer to Pilgrims.
“The care that the whole family received while Diane was at the hospice was very special, and the wedding gave us a life-long special memory to keep.”
Leila Ilkhan, Pilgrims community fundraising manager said: “On behalf of everyone at Pilgrims Hospices I would like to say a very big thank you to you for thinking of our charity and delivering Chocolate Oranges for our staff to enjoy.
“It is heart-warming to see people in our community wanting to spread some joy and I look forward to sharing your token of gratitude with our nurses, doctors and wider clinical teams over the next couple of days.
“Team Chocolate Orange has started something truly fantastic, and it is wonderful that you are bringing this to Kent to continue this generous act of giving.”
Pilgrims support thousands of patients and their families in east Kent each year. The gift of a Chocolate Orange to each of the team will no doubt be enjoyed with a cup of tea on tea breaks and lunch times. Pilgrims wish to thank Allan and Joanne Pippard and Faversham Walking Football for such a kind gesture and would like to wish them a very merry Christmas.
You can keep up to date with Team Chocolate Orange on Facebook and Twitter.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to thousands of people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
