Pilgrims Hospices help John and Virginia create poignant legacy with hand casting
John Godden, from St Mary’s Bay, a coastal village on Romney Marsh, is being supported by Pilgrims Hospices to live well alongside managing a life-limiting illness.
John enjoyed a long career in property maintenance, but now has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and pulmonary hypertension, which means he has to take each day at a much slower pace.
John and Virginia in the Ashford hospice garden
John said: “Retirement wasn’t in my plans! I loved my job, it was very physical and kept me active, but when I turned 70, my health took a turn.
“I was hospitalised for seven weeks due to a bad chest infection and high CO2 levels. Whilst there, a consultant mentioned referring me to the hospice. I was quite poorly and no one was sure if I’d pull through, but I did. Once I’d been discharged from hospital, I spoke to Pilgrims. I met their community team, they got to know me and explained how it would all work. A Pilgrims nurse contacts me every two weeks to check in, ask how I’m doing and find out if I need any extra support. It’s very helpful.”
John and his wife, Virginia, are making the most of Pilgrims’ varied offerings at their local hospice in Ashford. John benefitted from a breathlessness management group, which has given him useful tools to manage his symptoms at home. He is signed up for a mindfulness class in the near future, which he is looking forward to. Virginia accesses a carers support group and plans to have counselling sessions, too. The couple also attend Time to Create therapeutic art groups run by the Wellbeing team, where they have been able to create a cast of their interlinked hands, a poignant keepsake to take home and treasure.
John continued: “The groups are so important to me because they get me out. I’ve met some wonderful people; the staff here at amazing, the other people who attend are lovely. It’s a really friendly environment. The hand casting was particularly special because it’s all about connection, being close to each other, holding hands. It’s amazing how it catches all the fine details.”
Hand casting is a powerful legacy activity, providing families with a tangible memento of their loved ones. The process offers the opportunity to connect, interact and share stories and anecdotes, bringing people together at what is often a challenging time. Pilgrims can only offer this service through the support of its generous community, and the charity is truly grateful to anyone who purchases a kit via its Amazon Wish Listfor patients and families to benefit from.
John and Virginia with their hand cast
Virginia added: “Right now, Pilgrims is a lifeline for us, it’s the only consistent support we get. We know we can call the 24-hour advice line if we need anything, or if John deteriorates; the staff are so caring and attentive, we can’t fault them. Pilgrims also gets us out to socialise with other people experiencing life-limiting illnesses, which is so important; when we’re here, we really benefit.”
John continued: “We’re learning lots from Pilgrims, not just about managing my COPD but also via all the activities in Time to Create – it’s so interesting to me, because I’m not artistic, but I try! I really enjoy it. It’s different every week, there’s always something new to do.
John and Virginia’s hand cast
“I’d tell anyone in my position that they should come here, because it’s not what it seems. You might think, like I did, it’s only for old people who are on their last legs! It’s not like that at all. But equally, if I did deteriorate, I would want to come to the hospice.
“What’s important to me is being able to live a relatively normal life, which is something we often take for granted. Pilgrims is helping me to do that as much as possible, and I’m so grateful.”
We’re in need of hand casting kits for each of our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, to enable more people like John and Virginia to experience the many benefits of creating lasting legacies.
Our Amazon Wish Listhas been carefully put together by staff from all departments across our hospices, and contains items that will help us the most – including hand casting kits.
Call the Pilgrims Hospices 24-hour Advice Line on01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to more than 3,000 people in east Kent each year who are living with a terminal illness. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
9th June 2025
Come and say hello! – Nurses and Healthcare Assistants Open Day
Are you a Nurse or Healthcare Assistant looking to take the next exciting step in your career?
Join us onFriday 20 June 2025, 10am-5pm at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford for our Nurses and Healthcare Assistants Open Day.
Whether you’re just curious or seriously considering a change, this day is for you!
Join us at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford for a relaxed and informative Open Day where you can:
Meet our amazing team – Find out what it’s really like to work at one of Kent’s leading end-of-life care charities
Tour our beautiful facilities – Including patient areas, therapy spaces, gardens and more
Ask anything – Seriously, no question is too small! From what to wear on your first day to how to progress your career, we’re happy to chat
Soak up the feel-good vibes – Discover why our staff say working at Pilgrims is one of the most rewarding decisions they’ve ever made
Here’s what we offer
Access to the NHS pension scheme
Current pay rates benchmarked against NHS bandings
Excellent work/life balance
Generous annual leave
Sick leave from Day 1
Paid CPD hours and career development pathways
Subsidised meals (for just £2!)
Free onsite parking
What our team say
“I have worked at Pilgrims for 25 years and love everything about Pilgrims Ashford. We are supported and encouraged to develop, we have a voice and are listened to if there are concerns or improvements needed, and we work in a beautiful building with lovely grounds. From the Medical Director to our amazing Domestic team, we all share the same vision – to give the patients the best experience.”
“We have in-house training opportunities in palliative care to enhance our knowledge. We have a comfortable staff room for our breaks with amazing subsidised meals, with free tea and coffee.It’s a friendly team, everyone helps and advises each other. We even have a visiting therapy dog!”
Come and say hello
Whether you’re an experienced nurse or a new HCA exploring the world of hospice care, we’d love to show you around, introduce you to our team, and tell you more about how you could make a real difference.
No need to book – just drop in any time between 10am and 5pm. Bring your questions, your curiosity and your smile – we’ll bring the cake!
We can’t wait to meet you.
Come and take a look – you might just be surprised at what you discover.
Join us on Friday 20 June, 10am-5pm at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford, Hythe Road, Willesborough, Ashford TN24 0NE.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
5th June 2025
Why I support Pilgrims Hospices: Sarah’s story
“I always imagined hospices were marvellous places, but until I experienced it myself, I didn’t know just how exceptional everything and everyone would be.”
My Dad was a true Londoner – bold, big-hearted and full of life. His voice could fill a room, and so could his warmth. He was so generous with his time and embodied the spirit of community in every way, proudly inheriting the family picture-frame making business ‘Mann & Sons.’ In his later years, he moved to Kent and found real comfort in the slower pace of life and bracing sea air.
After Dad had his stroke, it was heart-breaking to see someone who had always been so strong and independent suddenly become so vulnerable. As his final days were drawing closer, he told me that he wanted to die at home, but this wasn’t possible since he needed too much attention.
In the end, however, I feel very grateful that he ended up in the care of the Thanet hospice. It was the best thing that could’ve happened and from the moment we came through the door, I knew we were in fantastic hands.
The small things will always stay with me: the hand-knitted quilts on each bed, to the radio that appeared in his room after I mentioned his love of listening to it. These thoughtful touches, to me, show the true meaning of care – acts of decency, kindness and generosity given for nothing in return.
Sarah and her dad
There are many touching moments I recall in those difficult days, but the one that sticks in my mind most is sharing Dad’s final sunset with him. He’d asked for this specifically and even though the nurses were busy, at shift’s end, they made the time to attach rollers to his bed and wheel him outside. I sat with him, holding his hand, and we watched the sky turn red. I could see what this meant to him.
Twelve hours later, he lapsed into unconsciousness – I had slept in a chair by his bed until that moment and the nurses brought me a blanket for the night. I carried on sleeping there until the moment he died, and afterwards helped the nurses and volunteers bathe him and dress him in clean pyjamas. Their compassion and respect was astonishing, and after they’d taken him away, they handed me an envelope addressed ‘Sarah’ containing a hand-knitted heart and a poem. I still have them both.
My Dad has been gone close to three years now, but I feel his spirit in everything I do. He passed at 80 and when people say he had a good life – and he really did – it doesn’t lessen the loss. Keeping his memory alive is so important to me, and seeing his name on the Memory Tree really touches me. I wanted to support Pilgrims yearly, and it’s such a wonderful way to do so, on a beautiful installation where his memory is kept alive.
I will never be able to repay Pilgrims Hospices for everything they did – they care for the people sitting around the bed as much as the person lying in it. Leaving a gift to Pilgrims in my Will is my way of saying one final thank you, in memory of my Dad and with deep gratitude for all they did for both of us.
If you’re inspired by Sarah’s story and would like to support Pilgrims Hospices, there are many ways you can:
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
23rd May 2025
Helen hikes for hospice care in memory of auntie
Helen Edwards from Camber, East Sussex is taking on the Pilgrims Way Challenge on Saturday 21 June 2025.
She will hike 25km from Canterbury to Wye in memory of her auntie, Patsy Bolton, who received Pilgrims Hospices’ care in December 2024.
Patsy
Patsy worked in care and was always looking after others, so she understood the importance of being in a place of comfort at the end of life. When her own time came, she knew she wanted to be cared for in a hospice, and was offered a bed at the Ashford hospice.
Helen said: “Pilgrims made Patsy feel loved and cared for, so I wanted to give something back. She didn’t want a big fuss at her funeral, and asked for donations to Pilgrims in lieu of flowers. So when I saw the Pilgrims Way Challenge advertised, I signed up straight away. I’m hoping to raise as much money as I can to help make sure Pilgrims’ vital services continue to be available to other families, and to keep Patsy’s memory alive.”
Patsy’s daughter, Sarah Bolton, originally from Lydd, added:
“No one ever wants to receive a call telling you a precious loved one’s time has come, but from the moment those hospice doors opened, Pilgrims offered nothing but a positive and calming experience. The hospice was a place for our family to say goodbye to Mum, in comfort and with beautiful settings.
Sarah and Patsy
“All the staff were so kind and compassionate, not only to patients within their care, but to their family members as well. A special mention to Bernie, the Healthcare Assistant who made Mum’s final hours comfortable. No words or gratitude are enough to express the blessing we were afforded by Mum getting a bed at the hospice; Pilgrims’ work is priceless.
Helen on a training walk
“As a family, we want to support Pilgrims to ensure others can experience their special care, offering people dignity and kindness in their final days. In the darkest times, Pilgrims gave us light; the hospice is a place where love and compassion knows no bounds.”
The Pilgrims Way Challenge is perfect for people of all fitness levels; you’ll stroll through charming villages of oast houses and period cottages, surrounded by endless green fields. Rolling hillside views, quiet country lanes, historic buildings, and ancient woodlands all await you. The Pilgrims Way between Dover and Wye really does have it all.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
19th May 2025
A story of love, support, and courage: Alex’s journey with Pilgrims Hospices
Amie Tuffs, 25, met Alex Streater eight years ago at Canterbury Christ Church University, and they became inseparable.
But their journey together took a heartbreaking turn when Alex, just 33, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in February 2025.
Amie, who works within a mental health care team in Canterbury, knew the importance of compassionate care, having worked with Pilgrims Hospices in the past. However, nothing could prepare her for being on the receiving end of hospice support. Alex had lived with a liver condition for several years, and after a hospital stay where he became jaundiced, he was diagnosed with incurable cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive cancer.
With no early warning signs and limited treatment options, the disease is often detected too late, making it incredibly difficult to fight. The news was devastating.
Amie Tufts 3
Amie Tufts 2
Amie Tufts 1
In the early days following his discharge from the hospital, there was a difficult gap before hospice support kicked in. Amie called Pilgrims Hospices at 4am, and by 10am, a nurse and social worker had arrived. Their care provided Alex and his family with the emotional and physical support they desperately needed.
Amie’s interview by ITV Meridian at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury in May 2025:
Alex, a peer support practitioner in mental health, had always been resilient. Even after his diagnosis, he was determined to give back. He organised a “Living Wake” to raise awareness and funds for Pilgrims, raising over £1,850. The event had a 90s theme, with Alex dressing up as The Mask – a joyful nod to his playful spirit. His bravery in openly discussing death helped everyone around him come to terms with his condition.
“For Alex, it wasn’t about hiding from death—it was about facing it with love and support,” says Amie. “His courage was inspiring.”
What made the greatest difference was how Pilgrims tailored their care to meet Alex’s needs as a younger patient. They understood that being 33 brought different emotional and practical challenges, and the support they gave reflected that. This age-appropriate care helped Alex feel truly seen, heard, and supported.
Amie, who had previously worked with the Pilgrims team, saw firsthand how vital their work was. “They didn’t just care for Alex as a patient – they cared for him as a young man with a full life, a future he didn’t want to lose, and a voice he wanted to use.”
Alex and Amie with friends and family at Alex’s living wake
Even after Alex’s death, his spirit continues to inspire. His family and friends are committed to continuing the fundraising efforts he began, ensuring that Pilgrims can keep offering life-changing care to others in need.
Alex’s memory lives on, not just in the hearts of those who loved him, but through the ongoing support of Pilgrims Hospices.
If you would like to support Amie with her continued fundraising, you can visit her JustGiving page.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
14th May 2025
Lucie hikes for hospice care in memory of husband, Grayham
Lucie Moxham from Littlestone, New Romney first took on the Pilgrims Way Challenge in 2024, raising an incredible £2,723.25 for Pilgrims Hospices. At the time, her husband, Grayham Moxham, was receiving the charity’s care; he was admitted to the Ashford hospice on 12 June 2024, just three days before the event.
On Saturday 21 June 2025, Lucie will take on the challenge again; hiking 55km in Grayham’s memory, she hopes to raise even more for local hospice care.
Grayham and Lucie on their wedding day
Grayham was diagnosed with myeloma, a type of blood cancer, in November 2017. After various treatments over several years, he was referred to Pilgrims Hospices, who checked in with him regularly and provided help and guidance through his illness.
Lucie said: “When things got tough, Pilgrims staff would visit Grayham at home, checking on his physical and mental health and wellbeing and making sure his pain levels were managed to ensure a good quality of life. As Grayham knew that his illness was incurable, he expressed his wish to be admitted to Pilgrims “when the time came”, as he always used to say that “in hospitals, staff are trained to keep people alive”, but at Pilgrims, you can go peacefully.
“His wish was granted in early June 2024, when his liver started to fail, and it became very clear that he had reached a point of no return.”
Lucie was signed up for the 55km Pilgrims Way Challenge on 15 June 2024. She was still able to take part, even though, by then, Grayham had been admitted to the Ashford hospice:
“To spend time with him, his daughter, Chloe, and his newborn grandson, Fred, I finished at the 35km mark and made my way to the hospice to see them all later that afternoon. I’m pleased to say that, thanks to a tremendous amount of support from people from all walks of life, I raised £2,723.25.”
Grayham Moxham 3
Grayham Moxham 1
Grayham Moxham 2
Grayham Moxham 4
L-R: Grayham with his dog, Tolley, his grandson, Fred, his daughter, Chloe, and Lucie
Lucie has signed up for the Pilgrims Way Challenge again, taking place on Saturday 21 June 2025. She plans to complete the 55km route from Dover to Wye via Canterbury, and has already raised over £600.
She added: “I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has sponsored me; all donations, no matter how big or small, really make a difference. I know the wonderful work Pilgrims do, so anything I can do to help them keep providing their vital services will mean that people can continue benefitting from their expertise in the future.
Lucie taking on the Pilgrims Way Challenge 2024
“The service we received from Pilgrims was outstanding from the minute we arrived. It is very apparent that all the staff and volunteers are highly trained in end-of-life care and support. They make what is not an easy time easier by simply knowing exactly what to do and when, keeping you informed each step of the way, and lifting your spirits during their regular check-ins.
“I honestly don’t know what we would have done or how we would have coped without the help of Pilgrims, but one thing is for sure – without them, Grayham’s wish of going peacefully would not have been fulfilled… So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for all you have done and are doing for many others every day.”
You can keep up to date with Lucie’s fundraising journey by visiting her JustGiving page.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
