Each year, Pilgrims Hospices support thousands of people across east Kent who are living with life-limiting conditions.
Although hospice care is often associated with beds on in-patient wards, much of Pilgrims’ care takes place in the community – in people’s own homes, and in care homes.
Thanks to skilled, compassionate and dedicated community teams, Pilgrims is able to bring hospice care directly to patients who wish to remain at home, or in familiar surroundings, rather than be on a ward. This includes Hospice at Home, a team of Healthcare Assistants (HCAs) who attend to patients who are at the very end of their life and/or who have suddenly, rapidly deteriorated.
Jo Cottam, a retired NHS Senior Manager turned holiday let owner from Tenterden, experienced Pilgrims’ community care after her mum, Patricia Edwards, was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She shares how Pilgrims supported her mum and their family at the end of Patricia’s life.
Jo shares her story:
“In 2019, my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She lived in a charming cottage on our property, spending her days with us in the main house and returning to her cottage at night.
In early July 2025, Mum’s health took a concerning turn. She stopped eating for about a week, drank less than we hoped, and lost her mobility, making walking (especially navigating steps between our house and her cottage) extremely difficult and distressing for her. My husband, Simon, and her carer, Steve, provided essential support, but we grew increasingly worried.
We decided to keep Mum in her cottage full-time, as moving her was too challenging. This meant constant supervision, as she couldn’t be left alone. Encouraging her to take fluids was a slow, painstaking process of syringing small amounts into her mouth. On 10 July, we called our GP, who visited promptly. He prescribed antibiotics for a possible UTI, end-of-life medications, and arranged a referral to Pilgrims’ Hospice at Home team.
Jo’s mum, Patricia
After a three-day course of antibiotics, Mum began to improve, slowly resuming eating and drinking.
Soon after, I received a call offering additional care support, which we desperately needed. Mum required physical assistance to move between her bed and sofa, constant prompting to eat and drink, and round-the-clock supervision.
Unfortunately, the caller later informed us that no additional care could be arranged immediately, though an equipment assessment was scheduled for the next day.
To our surprise and relief, that evening, two wonderful Hospice at Home carers, Jo and Sandra, arrived and said they would visit Mum twice daily. I was initially apprehensive, as Mum was used to familiar faces, but Jo and Sandra’s warmth and gentle introductions put her at ease. Mum smiled and co-operated fully, a testament to their kind and professional approach.
Over the next few weeks, every pair of hospice carers who visited showed the same compassion, treating Mum with dignity and respect.
They also supported our family, offering practical advice and emotional reassurance in overwhelming moments.
As a former Senior NHS Manager with over 25 years of experience, and with my husband, a retired Consultant Anaesthetist, we both recognise exceptional care when we see it. The hospice carers delivered first-class service.
We were astonished to learn they travelled significant distances to reach us in Tenterden, covering a vast geographical area. The team, led by the remarkable Mandy Hilden, exemplified dedication. Mandy’s hands-on leadership was inspiring – she never asked her team to do anything she wouldn’t do herself.
The carers went above and beyond, ensuring Mum was clean, dressed in her preferred clothes, and had her hair washed and styled. They made her laugh and calmed her anxieties, especially when she became distressed during repositioning, gently reassuring her even when she grabbed them in fear.
The rapport we built with the hospice carers in such a short time was extraordinary.
On 24 July 2025, Caitlin, a Palliative Specialist Care Nurse from Pilgrims, visited to assess Mum for potential future hospice care. Caitlin’s professional yet friendly demeanour brought smiles to Mum’s face. She patiently explained everything and answered our questions thoroughly. At the time, Caitlin was optimistic about Mum’s condition, believing hospice care wouldn’t be needed soon.
Tragically, on 29 July 2025, Mum passed away suddenly and peacefully at home, with us by her side, holding her hand. Caitlin, upon hearing the news, called to offer her condolences and support. Her kindness, taking the time to listen and guide me toward the hospice’s counselling services, meant the world during such a shocking and painful moment.
Pilgrims is an exceptional organisation, dedicated to supporting individuals with terminal illnesses, offering compassionate care in both community settings and specialised units. They prioritise the needs and dignity of each person, ensuring the highest quality of care during their final days.
Additionally, Pilgrims provides a nurturing environment for families, fostering support and understanding throughout the process.
The hospice team’s communication, care, and support for both Mum and our family were exceptional. We are immensely grateful for this vital service, which relies so heavily on charitable donations. Their compassion and professionalism made an unbearable time more bearable, and we cannot thank them enough.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
8th October 2025
Caring in the community: Stephen and Heather’s Hospice at Home story
When Stephen Coles looks back on the care his wife, Heather, received in her final months, he speaks with deep gratitude for the compassion and tenderness shown by the Pilgrims Hospices Hospice at Home team.
Heather, aged 64, had been living with Parkinson’s and Lewy Body Dementia. She died peacefully at home on 29 July 2025, with her husband by her side.
Heather
Heather had enjoyed a long and dedicated career at Benenden Hospital, where she worked for more than 25 years, most recently as Director of Infection Control, before retiring early due to ill health.
Stephen, who also worked at Benenden, cared for Heather at home in Ashford throughout her last year of life. As Heather became more frail and her needs increased, they were supported first by the Pilgrims community team, and later by the Pilgrims Hospice at Home carers.
Stephen and Heather met online in 2011, and their love story began soon after. They shared their first date at The Tickled Trout in Wye and, as Stephen fondly recalls, they both ordered the same meal of liver and bacon.
“I knew straight away she was the one for me,” he said.
As Heather’s condition progressed, their home was adapted to make caring for her easier, with a hospital bed moved into the downstairs room. Stephen stayed close by her side, sleeping nearby to offer reassurance and comfort.
Stephen and Hannah
Heather’s daughter, Hannah, was also a great support to both her mum and stepdad.
When the Hospice at Home team began visiting, Stephen immediately felt the difference their presence made:
“They didn’t just wash and care for Heather,” he explained. “They did so much more than I expected – washing her hair, tending to her so gently and with such kindness. I found their support really helpful for me, too. The level of care and commitment they showed was exceptional.”
The Hospice at Home team specialises in supporting patients and families at the very end of life, providing comfort, dignity, and peace at home.
Mandy Hilden, Team Lead, said:
“We know this is such a difficult time for those we visit, so we make sure we arrive with the right mindset to help both our patient and their family. We can’t make them better, so let’s make it the best end of life that we can.”
Hannah, a yoga teacher, added her own reflections:
“At first, there was an element of disappointment when we realised Mum was too poorly to be moved to the hospice. But we soon saw what the Hospice at Home team could achieve at home – it was extraordinary. The personalised, gentle care made such a difference. We all felt safe, like a weight had been lifted. There was no rush, just calm, attentive support.”
For Stephen, having the Hospice at Home team alongside them made Heather’s wish to remain in her own home possible, surrounded by love.
“After a difficult and tiring year, we were so pleased to have their support,” he said. “They cared for Heather so tenderly and were there until the very end. It gave us the chance to be with her at home, just as she wanted.”
He added: “Both Heather’s and my own children have been a tower of strength during these early weeks after Heather died. It has been a difficult time for us all, but I’ve felt it important to share the message about this very special element of Pilgrims Hospices care. The Hospice at Home team made Heather’s end-of-life journey as comfortable as possible, and we will always be grateful.”
Heather’s family chose a green burial with close family and friends, followed by a celebration of her life at Eastwell Manor, where Hannah teaches yoga. Almost 200 family, friends and colleagues came together that day to remember Heather and celebrate the life of a much-loved wife, mum and friend.
“It was a joy to be surrounded by so much love,” Stephen shared.
In Heather’s memory, the family set up a Facebook fundraising page, which has raised more than £1,400 so far, to be shared between Pilgrims Hospices and the Lewy Body Dementia support group – a lasting tribute to Heather’s life and legacy.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
6th October 2025
Lily’s nursing journey at Pilgrims Hospices: “I’m lucky and honoured to be part of such an incredible team”
Lily Epps from Hythe was inspired to become a nurse after witnessing the care her mum, Ruth, received from Pilgrims Hospices when Lily was just 18 years old.
Initially training in Brighton, Lily moved home after six months and transferred to Canterbury Christ Church University to support her family after her mum died.
Lily shares why she chose to specialise in palliative care, and what she finds so rewarding about her role.
What drew you to palliative care, and why did you decide to work at Pilgrims Hospices?
Ruth and Lily
My mum was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer when I was 7; she was brilliant and resilient, and outlived an initial three-year prognosis by several years.
After conventional treatment and receiving the all clear, Mum went into remission and began experimental treatments. She worked closely with King’s College Hospital and took part in multiple trials; this fascinated me as I was growing up.
Unfortunately, the treatment didn’t work as we’d hoped, and Mum was referred to palliative care. I remember the Pilgrims nurses coming to visit her in our lounge, they always had an incredible aura of compassion. This really humbled me, and I wanted an opportunity to give back.
My mum always said it was the nurses who would make or break her day, and I strive to be a nurse that makes our patients’ days – especially in their final few days, when it is truly imperative.
I’m lucky and honoured to be part of such an incredible team at Pilgrims; everyone I work with is an inspiration, and so passionate about the care they give.
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epps 5
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epps 4
Lily Epps With Her Mum Ruth Epp 3
What does a typical day include for a Pilgrims nurse?
On the in-patient unit (IPU), we start the day with a cuppa to take to handover, which starts at 07:30am. One nurse takes charge and attends morning meetings which includes a whole multidisciplinary team (MDT) meeting, while a second nurse completes the morning medication round.
Depending on patients’ abilities, we’ll help our Healthcare Assistants (HCAs) to shower and bathe them. This is followed by a quick catch-up on the ward so that everyone is aware of any admissions or outstanding jobs, then we tag team going for a quick break before starting the lunchtime medication round.
In the afternoon, we update syringe drivers. We also complete pending discharge paperwork and give any medications needed. We focus on “what matters to me” for each patient, every day; this may be a very small goal, like having a bath, but it can completely change how they feel.
We always try our best to facilitate birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Our catering team provide beautiful cakes that can be enjoyed by families in the garden or in our lovely rooms. Even on long days, the evening quickly comes around, and we enjoy dinner before completing another medication round, settling patients, and handing over to the night staff.
What are the best things about being a nurse at Pilgrims?
Everything is amazing – including the food!
The whole team is incredible, from volunteers to social workers, wellbeing practitioners to consultants. It feels like a family. I’ve never worked anywhere so inclusive; everyone is so lovely, bubbly, down-to-earth and supportive. We all care about the patients and each other, which is clear on a daily basis.
I get more than seven weeks’ holiday per year, which shows how Pilgrims’ care and support extends to staff, too.
They also hold staff celebration days, and twice a year we’re offered therapeutic treatments like massage or reiki that fit around our working day.
What has your role involved and what have you learnt through working at Pilgrims?
I’ve learnt so much in my role at Pilgrims, mostly about different conditions, symptom control and treatment options. Every day is different. Most patients on the IPU come in for symptom control and usually stay with us for around two weeks, whereas the timeframe for our end-of-life patients varies.
I’ve worked with the Outcome Assessment and Complexity Collaborative (OACC) group. This is the collection of data used to measure, demonstrate, and improve the quality of palliative care for patients and their families by assessing clinical outcomes, symptom burden, and the complexity of care.
I also help the team to complete the Integrated Palliative Outcome Scale (IPOS)for patients. An IPOS allows us to integrate our care and ensure we aren’t missing anything, guaranteeing our patients are put first and that we continue to improve and meet their needs.
Do you have any favourite memories or anecdotes from your time at Pilgrims?
Simple things really bring me joy at Pilgrims.
Heart-shaped tattoo inspired by a patient’s legacy work
When patients come to us, they’ve often given up; they’ve been bed-bound and stuck inside for weeks. The light in their eyes when you say they can be wheeled outside on their bed and feel the sun on their face again leaves you with no words, and then there’s the cheeky smile when you offer a patient a beer or a glass of wine – these small things make working at Pilgrims so special.
We had an incredible patient who used to be a chef; as part of her legacy, she worked closely with our wonderful occupational therapy team to create a cookbook that is now sold on Amazon and can be shared with her children.
We helped a patient and her daughter do finger prints as part of the patient’s legacy work. The daughter got this as a tattoo in a heart shape, and her mum was able to see it before she died.
We helped to organise a patient’s birthday celebration in their room on the ward. She had two young sons, and one of them had his birthday shortly afterwards, so we did another celebration for him, too.
We decorated their mum’s room whilst she was showering, then surprised her and sang happy birthday; it was a beautiful moment.
A patient’s birthday celebration on the Ashford hospice ward
One patient, Celia, and her husband, Robert, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary whilst Celia was in the hospice.
We’d had to remove Celia’s wedding ring because her fingers were swollen. I didn’t want that to be her memory of her final wedding anniversary, so I asked the kitchen to organise a surprise afternoon tea and help me set it up in the garden, and they whizzed up scones and finger sandwiches.
Celia had been bed-bound for a week, but she wanted to go outside, which we discovered via her IPOS (this is why they’re invaluable, and make the hospice so unique). We washed and dressed Celia, then carefully transferred her from her bed into the garden. Robert met us outside with the afternoon tea all set up and decorated just for them.
It’s such a happy place to work; no one wants their final days to be sad, humans are so resilient, and it’s humbling and inspiring being part of the hospice team.
Lily with Celia and Robert at their 50th wedding anniversary afternoon tea
Did you have any preconceptions about hospice care before you worked at Pilgrims?
I was lucky to experience the hospice as a visitor prior to joining the team, as I’d seen first-hand what a joyful environment it is.
People often have the misconception that hospices are all doom and gloom, but in reality they shine such a bright, positive light.
Of course there are hard days, but they bring the team closer together, as it’s such a supportive environment. There can be hard conversations, too, but you are supported to have them, with the opportunity to debrief afterwards.
Most patients understand why they’re here and just want to enjoy their final days, so it’s important to put them first and try make their wishes come true.
Why is hospice care important?
There is no greater privilege than supporting someone through the final days of their life. Pilgrims promote quality of life; we try our best to ensure patients don’t suffer, supporting them to die with peace and dignity. Although patients are our priority, we’re holistic in our approach; families are an extension of our patients, so when a patient dies, we continue to care for family members who need us.
The services that Pilgrims offer always melt my heart.
Stepping Stones is a bereavement support group run by the wonderful Annie Hogben, Expert Volunteer Development Lead, which is available to any adult living in east Kent, even if their loved one was not a patient of the hospice.
Another element I find so wonderful about Pilgrims is their legacy work; from hand casting and creating family trees, to voice recordings through the Blackbird Projectthat can be cherished forever.
This is all provided by the charity, which I think is truly incredible, and shows how unbelievably special Pilgrims is.
Pilgrims Hospices is currently recruiting for Registered General Nurses at our Ashford hospice.
If you have relevant experience and have been inspired by Lily’s story:
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
19th May 2025
A story of love, support, and courage: Alex’s journey with Pilgrims Hospices
Amie Tuffs, 25, met Alex Streater eight years ago at Canterbury Christ Church University, and they became inseparable.
But their journey together took a heartbreaking turn when Alex, just 33, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in February 2025.
Amie, who works within a mental health care team in Canterbury, knew the importance of compassionate care, having worked with Pilgrims Hospices in the past. However, nothing could prepare her for being on the receiving end of hospice support. Alex had lived with a liver condition for several years, and after a hospital stay where he became jaundiced, he was diagnosed with incurable cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive cancer.
With no early warning signs and limited treatment options, the disease is often detected too late, making it incredibly difficult to fight. The news was devastating.
Amie Tufts 3
Amie Tufts 2
Amie Tufts 1
In the early days following his discharge from the hospital, there was a difficult gap before hospice support kicked in. Amie called Pilgrims Hospices at 4am, and by 10am, a nurse and social worker had arrived. Their care provided Alex and his family with the emotional and physical support they desperately needed.
Amie’s interview by ITV Meridian at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury in May 2025:
Alex, a peer support practitioner in mental health, had always been resilient. Even after his diagnosis, he was determined to give back. He organised a “Living Wake” to raise awareness and funds for Pilgrims, raising over £1,850. The event had a 90s theme, with Alex dressing up as The Mask – a joyful nod to his playful spirit. His bravery in openly discussing death helped everyone around him come to terms with his condition.
“For Alex, it wasn’t about hiding from death—it was about facing it with love and support,” says Amie. “His courage was inspiring.”
What made the greatest difference was how Pilgrims tailored their care to meet Alex’s needs as a younger patient. They understood that being 33 brought different emotional and practical challenges, and the support they gave reflected that. This age-appropriate care helped Alex feel truly seen, heard, and supported.
Amie, who had previously worked with the Pilgrims team, saw firsthand how vital their work was. “They didn’t just care for Alex as a patient – they cared for him as a young man with a full life, a future he didn’t want to lose, and a voice he wanted to use.”
Alex and Amie with friends and family at Alex’s living wake
Even after Alex’s death, his spirit continues to inspire. His family and friends are committed to continuing the fundraising efforts he began, ensuring that Pilgrims can keep offering life-changing care to others in need.
Alex’s memory lives on, not just in the hearts of those who loved him, but through the ongoing support of Pilgrims Hospices.
If you would like to support Amie with her continued fundraising, you can visit her JustGiving page.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
19th December 2024
Pilgrims Hospices response to the Government’s announcement of a £100 million funding boost for hospice care in England
We welcome the Government’s recognition and support, which will help us to continue to provide end-of-life care for our patients and their families living in east Kent.
This represents an important step towards acknowledging the significant financial pressures hospices face. We look forward to working with Hospice UK early in the new year to fully understand what this funding means for hospices.
We’d like to thank Hospice UK for all for their hard work and ongoing support for the hospice sector.
Helen Bennett
CEO Pilgrims Hospices
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
9th April 2024
Finding joy in memories: Sarah reflects on celebrating her dad’s life at Sunflower Memories
Sarah shares why celebrating the life of her dad, Anthony, at Sunflower Memories, is so important to her and her family.
My Dad was a total one-off. He had the most amazing sense of humour, loved to be the centre of attention, and was ridiculous, in the best way! With my brother and two sisters, we were all so close, but he and I in particular were such kindred spirits.
He loved jazz and rock and roll music, and when the time came, he decided on the music for his own funeral. In true Dad style, he chose Jerry Lee Lewis’s Great Balls of Fire to be played on the day! As I was putting his eulogy together and talking to all of the people in his life, there was one commonality between all of their memories: laughter.
I find such comfort in coming back to the hospice to remember him, and these events are such a wonderful opportunity and excuse to do so.
Sarah
Dad had his blood cancer diagnosis in 2014, and beat the odds of his prognosis. It wasn’t until he suffered a stroke in March of 2022 that he started to deteriorate. The cruellest part was that the stroke took his voice, and for a man with such a vivacious character, it was so upsetting.
Sarah’s dad, Anthony
While Dad only spent 36 hours in the hospice, Pilgrims Wellbeing services were offered to him beforehand, although he was hesitant to utilise them. In the end, he knew that the Canterbury hospice was the place he wanted to be. Ultimately, it was his life, his death, and his choice, right to the very end.
As soon as we arrived at the hospice, we were greeted by a doctor and nurses, who were amazing. They immediately sprang into action and got his pain and anxieties under control. They created such an honest, open, and safe environment in which Dad and all of the family were so supported. We were so scared and unsure of what to expect, but the Pilgrims nurses stayed by our side throughout, providing such a steady and reassuring presence.
Two years later, and I still find it hard to believe that he isn’t here with us. Along with my siblings, I remember my dad at both Trees of Love and Sunflower Memories. I find such comfort in coming back to the hospice to remember him, and these events are such a wonderful opportunity and excuse to do so. I want to keep celebrating him and see his name written somewhere. Knowing Dad, he would want to be flashed everywhere!
Sunflower Days take place on Saturday 20 July 2024, 1pm–4pm in Pilgrims Hospices gardens in Canterbury, Thanet, and Ashford.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
