Marie Dowling attended Trees of Love for the first time last year in memory of her husband, Steve, who was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford in 2017. Here, she shares how coming together with others helps the family to remember Steve in a very fitting way.
My husband Steve had a varied career, but his real passion lay in all things mechanical. After he retired in 2012, Steve offered his technical skills free of charge to the elderly and partially sighted people; nothing was too much trouble and his patience was endless.
Steve was a devoted family man to myself and our son, Matthew, and his loyalty to his family and friends was without limit. He could fix just about anything and was always there when things went wrong. He truly was one in a million!
When Steve was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2017, it came as a complete shock to us. Steve had always been a really fit person and, with our son happily settled at university, we had just started to enjoy our freedom to travel. A keen motorcyclist, Steve had also just finished putting together a sidecar outfit and trips to Europe in it had already been planned and booked.
Nothing was too much trouble for the staff and volunteers, even to the extent that food and drinks would be brought to us in Steve’s room so that our son, our long-time family friend and I could be with him for as long as we, and he, wanted.
Marie
We were both in a state of shock and didn’t know what had hit us, or what to expect, but fortunately Steve’s GP had referred him to Pilgrims Hospices. After his initial assessment there we both decided that, when the time came, that’s where Steve wanted to end his days.
Unfortunately Steve’s cancer progressed very rapidly, requiring two stays in hospital where the hospice staff kept in touch with him. After Steve came home for a few days his symptoms became very difficult to control. It was, therefore, with great relief that the decision was made for him to go into the Ashford hospice. I will never forget the look of relief on Steve’s face when he got there. He finally felt safe, and from then on until his death a week later he was looked after with dignity, compassion and care. Nothing was too much trouble for the staff and volunteers, even to the extent that food and drinks would be brought to us in Steve’s room so that our son, our long-time family friend and I could be with him for as long as we, and he, wanted.
After Steve’s death we wanted to do something to repay the hospice for their care of Steve. That’s when we found out about the Trees of Love services. We did wonder if it would be too painful to go back to the place where Steve had died and considered just giving a donation. However, we did go and I’m very glad we did. The sight of the trees decorated with all the doves and dedications was magical, and the service itself was very moving and appropriate for all those who had lost loved ones. Despite the still painful memories, we will definitely be going again this year.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 5pm on Saturday 1 December
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 2 December
Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 8 December
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 9 December
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
Associate Practitioner Chris takes epic plunge for Pilgrims
Chris Jones from Margate raised an amazing £805 for Pilgrims Hospices by braving a tandem skydive on 27 October to raise vital funds for the charity. As an Associate Practitioner at the Thanet hospice, he knows how essential fundraising is to ensure Pilgrims’ compassionate care is available to local families when they need it the most.
Although an anxious flyer, making this a many-layered challenge for Chris, when the day came for him to take the plunge the weather conditions were perfect; blue skies, good visibility and very few clouds.
The whole experience was incredible; from the professional briefing, to the flight in the small Cessna Caravan plane, the exhilarating freefall and gentle but exciting parachute drop to the landing site. It was an awesome experience.
Chris
He said: “The whole experience was incredible; from the professional briefing, to the flight in the small Cessna Caravan plane, the exhilarating freefall and gentle but exciting parachute drop to the landing site. It was an awesome experience, only made better by the professionalism and good humour of the Skydive Headcorn team and especially Simon, my instructor, in whom I had every confidence.”
With the help of his colleague and ‘wingwoman’ Kathleen Steel, who helped spread the word and encouraged people to sponsor him, Chris was able to raise a fantastic £805 for Pilgrims.
Chris has worked as an Associate Practitioner at the Thanet hospice for eight years, supporting patients and carers to live well in the face of incurable illness.
He said: “We have a passion to give our patients the opportunity to live a life where they are fully supported, not just with their medical needs but with their holistic needs as well.
“Most importantly for me, in my role I’m able to offer a safe space for our patients and their carers to come in, meet people in a similar situation and offer therapies like reminiscence, creative projects or simply a good game of Boccia. By doing this, I feel I’m able to provide the support they need in the way they want it.
“The Associate Practitioner role is such a diverse role in the hospice. I’m proud to be part of our dynamic Therapy Centre team, especially at a time when the service and the role are evolving in such a positive way.”
Inspired to follow in Chris’s footsteps and experience the adrenaline-fuelled adventure of a lifetime? Take on a tandem skydive for Pilgrims Hospices on Saturday 1 June or Saturday 7 September 2019; find out more and apply today.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims support, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about the options or visit click here for information on the Wellbeing and Social Programme.
7th November 2018
Trees of Love: Susan’s story
Susan Charles’ dad, John Newman, was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury in 2015. The family now dedicate a dove in his memory on our illuminated Trees of Love as part of our annual festive campaign. Here, Susan shares how this helps them to feel connected and remember John, who loved Christmas, and enables them to give back to the charity.
My dad was a devoted family man, always ready to help someone – usually my brother and I when we uttered, “Dad, can you just…”. “Can you just” usually meant some type of building work, as this was his trade as well as being a retained firefighter.
Dad had a brilliant sense of humour and enjoyed cruising holidays with my mum, where they’d be up on the dancefloor as soon as the music started. It was on a cruise when he knew that something wasn’t quite right, after which it was discovered Dad had a rare form of lung cancer.
For us, the Trees of Love service is our annual pilgrimage back to where we feel most connected, for this was our home for a short while. Dad loved Christmas so it’s a fitting way to remember him by hanging our special dove on the tree and listening to the beautiful service.
Susan
Dad’s end of life wish was that we could be together as a family. The level of care we received from all the Pilgrims staff was beyond anything we had experienced. Without the constraints of rigid visiting hours, Pilgrims became our other home during this time and we got to know other patients and family members on the ward, propping one another up when needed.
For us, the Trees of Love service is our annual pilgrimage back to where we feel most connected, for this was our home for a short while. Dad loved Christmas so it’s a fitting way to remember him by hanging our special dove on the tree and listening to the beautiful service. Everyone there has a shared experience and understands any range of emotion displayed. It is our chance to give a little something back to where end of life wishes are granted, and to be part of the amazing Pilgrims Hospices once again.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 5pm on Saturday 1 December
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 2 December
Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 8 December
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 9 December
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
5th November 2018
Local crematoriums support Trees of Love with £20,000 donation
Pilgrims Hospices’ Individual Giving team, Sara Scriven and Sophie Douch, were delighted to receive a cheque from Darren Daughters and Darren Caldicott at Barham and Charing crematoriums recently for this year’s Trees of Love services.
The local crematoriums have donated an amazing £20,000 to this year’s Trees of Love remembrance services.
Sophie said: “A huge thank you to Barham and Charing crematoriums for their incredibly generous donation of £20,000 to this year’s Trees of Love remembrance services. The crematoriums have kindly supported Pilgrims Hospices for five years and donated an amazing £28,000 in total. Every penny will go such a long way in helping us to keep providing vital, compassionate care to local families when they need us most.
“In addition to our hospice Trees of Love remembrance services, we hold a number of services out in the community. For the past four years Barham and Charing crematoriums have held beautiful Trees of Love services at their sites for visitors to attend. These provide a special and personal way to remember those dear to us who we aren’t able to spend time with at Christmas. Personal dove dedications are placed onto the beautiful Trees of Love at each location and illuminated throughout the festive season.
“A big thank you once again for such wonderful generosity.”
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community, including at Barham and Charing crematoriums:
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Join our Facebook events for the Barham and Charing services to let your friends know you’re coming and help spread the word.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.