Pilgrims Hospices make patient’s wedding wish come true
Elaine and Jason Edwards, a former carpenter, from Herne Bay were married in a civil ceremony at Jason’s flat on Saturday 30 July 2022. This was an extra special occasion, as Jason has motor neurone disease (MND) and is receiving support from Pilgrims Hospices.
The charity helped to make their big day possible, enabling them to create beautiful memories that will last forever.
The family is incredibly grateful for Pilgrims’ care, which frequently extends beyond its physical hospices and into the wider east Kent community.
Martyn Yates, Spiritual Care Lead and Complementary Therapist at Pilgrims, was integral in organising Elaine and Jason’s marriage.
Jason and Elaine on their wedding day
Elaine said: “Our experience with Pilgrims Hospices has been totally amazing. We had Martyn come out and see us from the spiritual care team, to help us with getting married. He was amazing. He was very informative, and due to all his help, we were married at home in Jason’s flat with a few family members and very close friends in attendance.
Martyn Yates
“Pilgrims gives us as a family help and support in ways we never imagined possible. They are on hand for help and advice 24 hours a day; it gives us peace of mind knowing that they are there throughout this hard time in our lives. It means so much to us that they are here for us. They do an amazing job, and we can’t thank them enough for all they do.”
Martyn added: “One of the really important parts of the work we do at Pilgrims is to make every day as good as it can be for both our patients and their families – so they can live their lives to the full. Our links with community agencies help us to do this; in this case, the Canterbury registrars pulled out all the stops, and between us we were able to achieve Elaine and Jason’s wishes. It is so lovely to be able to do things like this for our patients and their families.”
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
10th January 2022
“Spiritual care is at the heart of palliative care” – Spiritual Care Awareness Month 2022
Martyn Yates is a former Spiritual Care Lead and Complementary Therapist at Pilgrims Hospices; he was based at the Canterbury hospice.
Whilst still in post, he shared how he came to his spiritual care role, what spirituality means to him in practice and why he believes it plays such a vital part in hospice care.
My average day working in palliative care at Pilgrims is spent looking after our patients, families and staff in as holistic a way as possible, which I find tremendously rewarding.
I’ve been working at Pilgrims Hospices for 33 years, initially as the Complementary Therapy Lead. When our chaplain left eight years ago, I was asked if I would be interested in “looking after the spiritual care of patients” from a “non-religious” point of view. I considered the request and agreed to it.
I’ve always had an interest in the spiritual aspects of life. In the 60s and 70s, I pursued many aspects of spiritual development whilst teaching in different denominational schools in South London; from this, I formed my own ideas of spirituality. Then, coming back down to Minnis Bay in Thanet with my wife to have a family and moving into the Alternative Therapy world – later to become the Complementary Therapy world – I continued to pursue other personal aspects of spiritual development and my life’s path became a spiritual one.
In everyday life, my daily spiritual practices give a foundation for me to have the best day I possibly can. Working at Pilgrims Hospices, I believe spiritual care is at the heart of palliative care; it is personal and can successfully cater for people of a particular religious faith or none.
As I also work as a complementary therapist, I treat my patients holistically – which means looking after their mind, body and spirit – and this fits in perfectly with my spiritual care role. It allows me to meet and get to know not only the patients but also their families, and I do my best to help them through this part of their journey.
Pilgrims Hospices celebrated Spiritual Care Awareness Month throughout January 2022, showcasing the many ways that spiritual care can make a positive difference to patients, their families, carers and loved ones.
There’s much more to death than we think; what if it isn’t just an ending, but an event we can plan for? Thinking beyond the four walls of hospices and hospitals, we have the chance to approach it with confidence and plan a good death. After Wards is a collection of insights and ideas from people who can help us all to re-imagine this essential part of life, and to live well until we die.
Continue the conversation at our Time to Talk events with film screenings, poetry readings, Death Cafes and much more.
3rd January 2022
“Dying isn’t just a physical process” – Spiritual Care Awareness Month 2022
Sophie Van Walwyk is Head of Psychosocial, Wellbeing and Bereavement Services at Pilgrims Hospices.
She introduces Pilgrims’ Spiritual Care Awareness Month, explains how and where spiritual care fits within hospice care, and shares what spirituality means to her personally.
What does your role involve and how did you come to it?
In my role at Pilgrims, I’m responsible for our social workers, counsellors and spiritual care leads across our three hospice sites. I also oversee Pilgrims Therapy Centres, wellbeing services and bereavement care.
I joined Pilgrims in 2015, originally as a palliative social worker at our Thanet hospice. I’d worked closely with the hospice in my previous role with the local authority; learning more about the care and support offered at Pilgrims, I recognised I wanted to also support individuals who were facing the end of their life.
When someone receives a palliative diagnosis, it can be a frightening and sad time for them and their loved ones. Helping people adjust to and cope with the challenges they are facing is fundamental to hospice care – dying isn’t just a physical process, it is also a psychological, social and spiritual experience. It’s important to recognise a person’s individual needs and care for all of these in the same way we would treat their physical symptoms.
Treating the whole person is the best part of hospice care. Helping people understand what is important to them at the end of their life, and enabling and empowering them to live as well as possible for as long as possible, is such a rewarding part of my role.
What does spirituality mean to you?
Spirituality means different things to different people and it can change over time and in different situations. Traditionally, spirituality was based very much around religious beliefs and rituals, but modern spirituality has become a blend of religious beliefs, humanistic psychology and mystical or obscure traditions.
Spiritual needs can include:
The need to feel hope, peace and gratitude
The need for meaning and purpose in our lives
The need to feel a sense of belonging
The need to love and feel loved
People do different things to meet their spiritual needs, depending on what is important to them. For some this may be through prayer and worship, but it’s important to understand that our spiritual needs can also be met in other ways. These may include being with family and friends, spending time in nature, or through interests and hobbies.
For me, spirituality is how I make sense of myself, the world around me and my place and purpose in it. When I first started to explore my own spirituality, I had more questions than answers, and as I continue on my spiritual journey I often still do! But that’s how spiritual growth works; it helps you to question things about yourself and the world, and to accept things about them. It’s sometimes hard to describe what spirituality feels like, because that’s what it is – a feeling deep within you, a sense of inner calm and peace that only you can feel and understand.
We do have to give time and attention to our own spiritual growth though, it’s not something we can sit back and expect to happen. We have to work at it, by opening our minds and hearts and exploring different ways that may help us to care for ourselves spiritually.
I find being close to nature helps me to tune into my own spirituality, as it brings a sense of stillness and calm. It encourages me to slow both my body and mind, to simply be in the moment, and appreciate the beauty all around me.
What role does spiritual care play in hospice care and why is it important?
Spiritual distress or pain can happen when people are unable to find meaning, hope, love, peace, comfort, strength or connection in their life.
Dame Cicely Saunders, the founder of the modern hospice movement, taught us about total pain at the end of life – meaning that a person can feel not only physical pain, but also psychological, social and spiritual pain. We must recognise each of these elements that an individual may be experiencing, and support these needs with the same level of care we give to managing physical pain and symptoms.
When an individual is facing the end of their life, it’s natural that they may want to reflect on the meaning of their life – perhaps for the first time, or at a deeper level than they have done before. They may also want to think about death, loss and grief in new ways.
Pilgrims Hospices celebrated Spiritual Care Awareness Month throughout January 2022, showcasing the many ways that spiritual care can make a positive difference to patients, their families, carers and loved ones.
There’s much more to death than we think; what if it isn’t just an ending, but an event we can plan for? Thinking beyond the four walls of hospices and hospitals, we have the chance to approach it with confidence and plan a good death. After Wards is a collection of insights and ideas from people who can help us all to re-imagine this essential part of life, and to live well until we die.
Continue the conversation at our Time to Talk events with film screenings, poetry readings, Death Cafes and much more.
15th December 2021
“It’s about being attentive to each person’s needs, religious or not” – Spiritual Care Awareness Month 2022
Petra Kerr has been a Spiritual Care Volunteer at Pilgrims Hospices since 2016.
She shares what inspired her to get involved and why she enjoys her role.
In 2015, I felt I was being called to help people in their time of need, so I enrolled on a course called ‘Pastoral Care’ organised by the Diocese of Canterbury. Once completed, I then attended another course, ‘Funeral and Bereavement’. Contemplating where I could develop my skills, I was instantly drawn to Pilgrims Hospices.
I met with Martyn Yates in 2016 and immediately knew that Pilgrims is where I wanted to be; within a couple of weeks, I had become a Spiritual Care Volunteer.
I always remember Martyn saying to me, ‘never be afraid to laugh in here’. At the time, I thought, ‘how very strange’, but I genuinely have had some really funny moments with staff, patients and families.
I was also blessed in 2017 to be given authorisation from the Bishop of Dover to administer the sacraments as and when required; this was a great privilege for me.
I’m often asked if you have to be religious to receive pastoral or spiritual care. I believe not. For me, it’s about being attentive to each person’s needs, religious or not. It’s about being compassionate and considerate. It’s not always about speaking, either; a simple holding of hands is sometimes all it takes.I strongly believe that spiritual care plays a crucial part within hospice care, as it’s about helping the patient and their family manage any uncertainties they may have and listening to and responding to their needs.
I feel honoured and humbled to be a part of the amazing work Pilgrims do.
Would you like to become a Spiritual Care Volunteer for Pilgrims and make a positive difference to people living with an incurable illness in east Kent?
Pilgrims Hospices celebrated Spiritual Care Awareness Month throughout January 2022, showcasing the many ways that spiritual care can make a positive difference to patients, their families, carers and loved ones.
There’s much more to death than we think; what if it isn’t just an ending, but an event we can plan for? Thinking beyond the four walls of hospices and hospitals, we have the chance to approach it with confidence and plan a good death. After Wards is a collection of insights and ideas from people who can help us all to re-imagine this essential part of life, and to live well until we die.
Continue the conversation at our Time to Talk events with film screenings, poetry readings, Death Cafes and much more.
“Human spirituality is complex” – Spiritual Care Awareness Month 2022
Ken Cox is a Spiritual Care Lead at Pilgrims Hospices, based at the Thanet hospice.
He shares what he enjoys about his role, what spirituality means to him and how spiritual care makes an integral contribution to the holistic nature of hospice care.
What does your role involve and how did you come to it?
In my role at Pilgrims, I am called upon to give spiritual care and advice to anyone who needs it; patients, carers and staff are all included within my remit.
During training to become an ordained Church of England priest, we are required to undertake a pastoral placement. As I had no experience of hospice work, I thought it might be good to expand my knowledge and I managed to get a placement at the Canterbury hospice.
From then on, I felt a call that working in a hospice environment would be the area for me to continue in after my curacy was completed. I initially came to the hospice as a volunteer and was appointed to my current role as Spiritual Care Lead at our Thanet hospice in 2016.
I get a high level of satisfaction in helping people through emotionally hard times. I enjoy the interaction between myself and those I meet. Most of my working career has involved working as a team, so I am comfortable with and enjoy working with the other disciplines on the hospice multi-disciplinary team.
What does spirituality mean to you?
Human spirituality is a complex and difficult thing to nail down. The textbooks define it as relationships, values and life purpose. The main thing I concentrate on is relationships between myself and the people I come into contact with; the rest follows on. A basic relationship can grow into one where I can help the person come to terms with what is happening.
My views on spirituality have been informed by study and reading of various books during ordination training. The academic reading is backed up by experience of being at the frontline of peoples’ emotions and raw feelings at a difficult time in their lives. It was a distinct advantage to have been a volunteer for a few months before taking up the role as a paid job.
What role does spiritual care play in hospice care and why is it important?
From my point of view, spiritual care can play a vital part in a patient’s or carer’s pathway whilst being cared for by Pilgrims. It involves being alongside people, lending a listening ear at their darkest time and being a shoulder to lean on, to help smooth things that are getting a bit bumpy.
An integral part of working at Pilgrims is not to be judgemental. Some people suffer from guilt due to past actions as they come to the end of their life, and wish to atone or at least talk about this, which enables them to move forward.
Spiritual distress can happen at any time during a person’s association with the hospice. This is an area where the Spiritual Care Lead can help immensely, talking through what is causing the distress, not offering any solutions but allowing the person to work through things and clear their minds. Often, it is physical and sometimes emotional pain that can be sorted out. We also work with people who have changed their belief system, either losing faith or discovering a dormant belief that comes to the fore. Quite often, people find it difficult to adjust to their new way of thinking, but spiritual care can help with this.
A spiritual care lead is an integral part of Pilgrims’ multi-disciplinary team, which meets daily to discuss patients. At times, the spiritual care lead can have information that helps clinical staff gain an alternative insight into what a patient is feeling. As part of the team, we can be asked to follow up and provide another eye on the subject from a different perspective, which can be of great help.
Pilgrims Hospices celebrated Spiritual Care Awareness Month throughout January 2022, showcasing the many ways that spiritual care can make a positive difference to patients, their families, carers and loved ones.
There’s much more to death than we think; what if it isn’t just an ending, but an event we can plan for? Thinking beyond the four walls of hospices and hospitals, we have the chance to approach it with confidence and plan a good death. After Wards is a collection of insights and ideas from people who can help us all to re-imagine this essential part of life, and to live well until we die.
Continue the conversation at our Time to Talk events with film screenings, poetry readings, Death Cafes and much more.
17th December 2018
Jacky experiences the reality of life in a hospice
Jacky Darling, a minister in training from St Nicholas Church in New Romney, is gaining experience in the reality of life in a hospice with Pilgrims at Ashford.
Jacky joined Geoff Walters, Head of Spiritual Care Services for Pilgrims Hospices, as part of her training programme. Geoff said: “By sharing various events and aspects of hospice life, we hope Jacky will have an understanding of what a hospice is and does and can, therefore, be supportive to people she meets in the community facing life-limiting illness.”
Jacky explained: “It’s very important to be knowledgeable and positive for people within the community who may have little or no experience of hospice services, leaving them feeling negative and vulnerable.
“My time with everyone at Pilgrims is proving really inspirational. I’m now confident that I can share my experiences and explain how Pilgrims can offer a variety of services to help people who need care, and their families, to live well in the moment. It’s a privilege to share such important information with our community; the charity is providing a vital service.
“I’ve been given opportunities to spend time with the nurses in their morning meetings, attend the Therapy Centre and get to know day patients, staff and volunteers. There’s so much more to the hospice than a bed on a ward.”
Pilgrims Hospices cannot change what’s happening but they can make a difference to patients and their families in such difficult times.
Jacky Darling
Jacky had a career in teaching, taking early retirement from her role as a Primary Head Teacher in order to pursue a spiritual vocation. She led the Trees of Love service held at St Nicholas Church in New Romney on Saturday 1 December and will be ordained in June 2019.
Jacky added: “I enjoyed the Trees of Love service, it was uplifting and comforting to so many local people whose loved ones or friends have been cared for by Pilgrims (and other bereaved people in the community). I welcomed this opportunity to celebrate their lives and wish everyone a peaceful Christmas.
“Pilgrims Hospices cannot change what’s happening but they can make a difference to patients and their families in such difficult times. It’s a moving experience and I’m grateful to be part of the Pilgrims community. I see the passion that surrounds the staff at the hospice; my experience here will enable me to help people understand the breadth of services available and why the charity needs continued support from the community.”
Pilgrims’ offer support for people of any religion or belief. The term ‘spirituality’ covers a wide range of belief systems, from membership of a faith community to those who follow a more personal philosophy or lifestyle. This pastoral and spiritual care (often known as chaplaincy) is available for people who are religious and can equally be a source of support for people of any belief. Facilitating places like Jacky’s is something that Pilgrims Hospices Spiritual Care team does regularly across all sites. Click here to find out more.
Each year Pilgrims supports hundreds of local people coping with a life-limiting illness and their families. The charity offers a range of services: from end of life care given on its wards to its Wellbeing and Social Programme supporting people after they are diagnosed, to live well and stay independent.
