The Blackbird Project continues to soar at Pilgrims Hospices
The Blackbird Project helps people hear their loved ones’ voices – even when they’re no longer here.
Sheena and Nick Jackaman lost their son Ben in 2017, when he was only 34 years old. He was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury. As with many bereaved families, they realised how much they missed the sound of Ben’s voice of which they had no recent recordings.
Nick and Sheena Jackaman
They, his sister Anna, family and their friends raised funds in his memory, in order to create a legacy project that would allow grieving families to listen to the voice of their loved one, and feel comforted at any time.
From this idea, the Blackbird Project was born and co-founded with Pilgrims Hospices. The project name came from the family’s love of The Beatles track ‘Blackbird’ which Ben played for them on his guitar before he was diagnosed with cancer.
From Spring 2019, Blackbird facilitators at the hospice have been trained to work with patients to record messages, poems, thoughts, recipes, details of their favourite music or anything that the patient would like to say.
After recording, the memory messages are downloaded onto a little blackbird-shaped USB stick, and given to the person who the patient has nominated.
Sheena and Nick continue to support Pilgrims, and more recently have donated beautiful Blackbird paintings to our three hospices, and printed cards that are for sale to raise important funds for patient care and services.
They said: “Our friend Caroline Brett is a talented artist who lives in Spain. She painted the wonderful blackbirds for us as a surprise gift. Greetings cards have also been printed from the original paintings, to sell and raise funds for The Blackbird Project. We are delighted to have her support with the beautifully detailed prints; we still feel surrounded by Ben’s love. Ben was highly creative, working in graphic design, and had a gift for music. I’m sure he would be very proud of our blackbird choice, and our way of recognising the compassion and care provided by Pilgrims Hospices who took us all under their wings at the most difficult of times. We will continue to raise funds in Ben’s memory, especially to support people who are facing similar challenges in their bereavement.”
In folklore, the blackbird is the first bird to sing in the dawn chorus, and the last bird singing as night falls. Its call is distinctive and is instantly recognisable, making it a very appropriate name for the project.
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
27th October 2022
Let the music play on: Neil creates lasting legacy with the Blackbird Project
In 2019, Pilgrims Hospices launched the Blackbird Project, enabling patients to record messages for their loved ones to keep forever on special blackbird-shaped USB sticks. The project was started by Sheena and Nick Jackaman, whose son Ben received Pilgrims’ care.
When Neil Wright from Deal was referred to Pilgrims after being diagnosed with cancer, the charity helped him to make a recording for his wife, Pamela. Here, she shares why the Blackbird Project is so special.
Neil
When my father died suddenly in 1984, I longed to hear the sound of his voice again. We had a reel-to-reel tape recorder from childhood that Dad would use to sing and talk to us. Unfortunately, the tapes were old and fragile, so they became twisted and ravelled up when they played, and I was very disappointed to find they wouldn’t work.
Sadly, my late husband, Neil, was diagnosed with cancer in September 2019. I cared for him at home, and when he was unable to stand and walk, we had a bed downstairs so he could look out on his garden, which he loved. We liked watching the blackbird that visited there.
We became aware of the Blackbird Project when Neil was referred to and supported by Pilgrims Hospices, and saw the brochure they had designed and produced. During this time, in April 2021, Sara Hennessy, an occupational therapist at the Thanet hospice, came to our house and helped Neil to record a message for me that I could listen to in the future. I think this is an excellent service, giving terminally ill patients the opportunity and assistance to leave a personal message for their loved ones on a blackbird-shaped USB stick.
Neil was a talented musician and he contributed greatly to the community, giving his time freely to support the arts, theatre events and festivals in Kent, particularly in his hometown of Deal. Neil knew the Jackaman family, having taught Ben and Anna, his sister, during his career, and was sad to hear that Ben passed away aged 34 from cancer at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury.
I have listened to my dear husband Neil’s Blackbird recording and it is wonderful to hear his voice. It brings me great comfort and is a treasured possession.
Pamela
As Neil’s illness progressed, we talked about Ben’s legacy and decided that when the time came, donations kindly given in remembrance of Neil should go to the Blackbird Project as it is such a wonderful idea.
On 11 August 2021, Neil was admitted to the Thanet hospice for pain relief, where he stayed for three weeks. All the staff were very compassionate and caring; they provided a welcoming and comfortable environment for us to be together during such a difficult time. Neil returned home with a care plan for support in the community.
His passion for music stayed with him throughout this time, until sadly he passed away at home on 12 October 2021.
I have listened to my dear husband Neil’s Blackbird recording and it is wonderful to hear his voice. It brings me great comfort and is a treasured possession. I’m sure many other patients and their loved ones who Pilgrims care for will continue to benefit as much as I have from this project in the future.
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
13th July 2021
Pilgrims Hospices help family make lasting memories during COVID-19
In January 2021, Malcolm Ball from Oare near Faversham was referred to Pilgrims for pain management of his terminal colorectal cancer.
He and partner Amanda Brown decided they wanted to become civil partners; they’d been together 20 years but never married.
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, opportunities to do this were limited, but Pilgrims helped to make it happen and give the family memories that will last forever.
COVID-19 has presented unique challenges for hospice care, with restrictions impacting on peoples’ end-of-life experiences. Despite this, Pilgrims has adapted and continued to go above and beyond for patients and families in these extraordinarily difficult times.
After a few weeks in the Canterbury hospice, Malcolm found that not only was his pain stabilised, but also that the hospice itself came to feel like a refuge. He made friends with other patients and staff, particularly Steve Allwright, a Healthcare Assistant (HCA).
Amanda said: “It made an enormous difference to him that Pilgrims staff were always on call, ensuring he received the best care. Steve felt like a friend to Malcolm and made the hospice feel like a home away from home.
“Everyone at Pilgrims went beyond the call of duty to look after us, both emotionally and physically. Martyn Yates, Spiritual Care and Complementary Therapy Lead, was fantastic in helping us organise our civil partnership. We planned for it to happen in Sittingbourne but Malcolm was very poorly by the set date, so with Martyn’s help we sought an exceptional licence to marry in our own home.
“However, when the day came, Malcolm was anxious and didn’t think he’d be able to leave the hospice, which had become a place of sanctuary and safety for him. With his sister, Karen, and brother-in-law, Tim, waiting outside to bring him home, our plans looked in jeopardy.
“Steve, who was off work that day, gave up his time to come in and chivvy Malcolm into the car: “Do you want to get married?” Malcolm replied yes, so Steve said, “Well come on then, I’ll come with you, let’s go”. And with that Malcolm came home for a fantastic ceremony surrounded by flowers. Our son, Emil, and his partner, Tracy, were witnesses. We couldn’t have a party due to lockdown, but the ceremony was broadcast via Zoom to family and friends near and far.”
Malcolm with his son, Emil
Steve added: “During the time Malcolm spent with us, I got to know him quite well. Even through his tough days we always had time to chat and I was honoured to accompany him to his wedding. Amanda was a tower of strength during Malcolm’s illness and he could not have picked a better partner to help him through his journey. It was a privilege to have known them both.”
Steve also helped Malcolm produce a voice recording to leave as a legacy for Amanda, using The Blackbird Project initiative developed by Pilgrims.
Steve said: “One Saturday morning, Malcolm and I sat down and scripted an agenda of his life with Amanda; there were around twenty five parts to his story. Once we had put this in place, Della Green, Occupational Therapist, recorded Malcolm’s story with him, which was then transferred to a memory stick and given to Amanda. I think it was one of the longest recordings ever made since the conception of The Blackbird Project, over an hour long.”
Amanda added: “It feels very special being able to hear Malcolm’s voice now, talking about our life together. It’s hard too while things are still raw, but I know that having the recording of him speaking about some of the things that meant the most to us both will be a lasting comfort.”
In those last days, everyone at Pilgrims did all they could to allow me as much time as possible with Malcolm, calling me back overnight when there were changes, and I was able to be with him at the end. That care and consideration has done much to ease the trauma of the last year.
Amanda
Malcolm stayed at home for three weeks after the ceremony before returning to the hospice for his final days, as he had wanted.
Amanda continued: “In those last days, everyone at Pilgrims did all they could to allow me as much time as possible with Malcolm, calling me back overnight when there were changes, and I was able to be with him at the end. That care and consideration has done much to ease the trauma of the last year.
“Pilgrims is the most amazing place. I feel so lucky, as I know Malcolm did, that we were able to benefit from the care offered. If only there could be a Pilgrims or other such hospice everywhere; to have that level of individual attention and care is something I wish for everyone.
It’s been such a comfort since Malcolm’s death to be able (with a little licence) to talk about us as husband and wife, and to have the memory of our wedding in our living room, with the support and love of family and friends watching it online, however distant. I hadn’t realised how important it would feel to me, but it means the world.
Amanda
“And as for our civil partnership ceremony, it wouldn’t have happened without the enormous generosity and pure kindness of all the staff involved; Steve above all, but also everyone who went above and beyond. On the day itself, when I started to think it might all fall through if Malcolm couldn’t get home, I discovered that behind the scenes, Pilgrims and the register office staff had been working together to try to ensure it could happen.
“It’s been such a comfort since Malcolm’s death to be able (with a little licence) to talk about us as husband and wife, and to have the memory of our wedding in our living room, with the support and love of family and friends watching it online, however distant. I hadn’t realised how important it would feel to me, but it means the world.”
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
17th November 2020
The Blackbird Project fundraising milestone
In 2018, Sheena and Nick Jackaman and their daughter Anna started to create a legacy for their son Ben, who passed away at Pilgrims Hospices Canterbury in 2017, aged 34.
For many families who lose a loved one, it is often realised that although they will have lots of photos and mementos to remember them by, they don’t have the sound of their voice.
Pilgrims Occupational Therapist, Julie Cox, was aware through her work that many people like telling stories about their lives and the comfort that can bring for the bereaved to hear. It was then that The Blackbird Project was created.
Ben Jackaman
Nick and Sheena have been supported by their friends and family both in the UK and as far as France, who have taken on their own charity challenges, organised events and shared their support to continue this project. From one family friend running an Ultra Marathon to another organising a music event and many other fundraising activities, an incredible £10,606 has been raised so far.
Nick and Sheena said, “We would like to express our gratitude to Pilgrims Hospices for establishing and developing The Blackbird Project. It is heart-warming to hear the responses and personal stories of how the Blackbird voice recordings are cherished. To support this charity is a privilege and has given us strength and purpose. We will always be extremely thankful for the compassion and skilled care given to Ben by all the staff at Pilgrims at such a sad time, and for the continued support for his loved ones.”
We would like to express our gratitude to Pilgrims Hospices for establishing and developing The Blackbird Project.
Nick and Sheena Jackaman
The project has been led by Justine Robinson, Therapies and Wellbeing Manager, who describes how voice recordings play an important part in creating precious memories for families. She says, “The Blackbird Project gives people a chance to leave a memory, a family story, read a favourite book or poem or just a few words of love and comfort. As well as giving the person doing the recording a sense of peace, it leaves a permanent recording and the personality of their loved ones.”
For all of us, 2020 has been a challenging year due to COVID-19, but the Pilgrims team has continued to find ways to keep families connected. More patients have turned to The Blackbird Project to leave a voice recording for their families. Justine and her team are also continuing to enable patients in the community to access the project by finding ways to support recordings.
Ben playing his beloved guitar
The fundraising and support led by Sheena and Nick will enable this project to continue to be there as a resource for families, and allow the project to develop in the future. They describe the inspiration for its name, a family favourite, Blackbird by The Beatles, a song much loved and performed by Ben. Their hope for the future of The Blackbird Project is that “the memory messages continue to comfort the patients and support wellbeing in the loved ones left behind”.
If you would like to find out more about how you or a loved one receiving care from Pilgrims can access The Blackbird Project, please contact: justine.robinson@pilgrimshospices.org
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
6th September 2019
On the homeward run
Tim Wrigley took on a powerful and emotional challenge to run a 110-mile ultra-marathon in memory of his friend Ben Jackaman who passed away in 2017 after a short battle with a rare and untreatable cancer. The epic run from Lake Windermere in the Lake District, back to his home near Tadcaster in North Yorkshire has so far raised £2,111.99 for Pilgrims Hospices who cared for his good friend Ben. Tim was determined to help raise funds for the hospices’ Blackbird Project, he completed this mega challenge in just over 31 hours and 30 minutes.
Tim said: “The Blackbird Project provides a special recording service for patients to share messages, poems, and thoughts or anything else they would like to say and pass on to their friends and family. The project was co-founded by Ben’s parents and sister Sheena, Nick and Anna and has been eagerly supported since Ben’s memorial fund was donated to Pilgrims Hospices.
“When close friends and family die young, it’s a reminder that we don’t always get to choose what we do, so we can’t always put things off for another day.
“I’m counting myself lucky to have my physical and mental health, taking on this challenge and having such tremendous support and sponsorship from people around me has been a rewarding experience.”
Tim’s challenge idea was formed some years back when sitting in a traffic jam after a weekend climbing and walking in the Lakes when someone shouted out ‘we could walk faster than this’ and so it began.
The furthest Tim had ever run was around 30 miles, therefore this was a huge leap in the distance to undertake.
He set off from Bowness, Lake Windermere and did not stop moving except for the occasional comfort break until he reached home. The logistics were complicated and involved a team of more than 12 people providing support by meeting him at various locations with food, drink, and fresh clothes. It all took a lot of co-ordinating and virtually no sleep for anyone.
Tim added: “I managed to finish even though it took longer than I had anticipated, however, I’m pleased to complete it. My feet are less pleased but the blisters, aches, and pains will pass!
“I couldn’t carry the 12,500 calories of food and 10 litres of water cloths, torches etc. all the way; so a huge thank you goes out to my support team who kept me fed and watered and provided company and good humour throughout, and the people who ran with me for sections of the route and of course everyone who donated. I needed all the support and I would never have completed it without everyone else. It was definitely a team effort. And, a big thank you to everyone at Pilgrims for looking after my friend Ben, this was the least I can do.”
Lydia Todd, Pilgrims Hospices, Community Fundraising Officer said: “A massive congratulations to Tim, what an incredible achievement!
“I’m sure Tim’s story is going to inspire many more people to raise funds for local hospice care and help us to continue being there for over 2,400 individuals each year, so thank you for being so generous in supporting Pilgrims.
“Congratulations and thank you once again, Tim, for taking on such an epic challenge to support The Blackbird Project at Pilgrims Hospices.”
You can still support Tim’s effort by donating to his JustGiving page.
If you would like to know more about The Blackbird Project please visit this page or call Heather Sawney 01227 459 700.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life-limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims support, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about the option or visit support for you.
10th May 2019
Pilgrims Hospices helps Mario to leave lasting legacy
Mario Romeiro from Folkestone has had an interesting and varied life. Born into the travelling circus, his trapeze act Mario and the Flying Romeiros performed all over the UK and he later married into a fairground family. After being diagnosed with Ampullary carcinoma, a rare form of cancer, Mario is now preparing for the last part of his life with the help of Pilgrims Hospices.
Ever since his diagnosis Mario has been recording his experiences, initially by writing a cancer diary. He wasn’t able to be with his family to break the news, so the diary helped him to communicate everything to them. Then, in August 2018 Mario was referred to Pilgrims Hospices and began accessing services at the Ashford hospice. He attends Time to Create sessions in the Therapy Centre, where patients and carers spend the afternoon together doing art and craft projects. Naturally skilled at drawing, Mario has a BTEC qualification in Art and Design and enjoys these creative groups.
He said: “The Pilgrims team are brilliant. If I have any problems I can tell them how I feel and they’ll help to make sure I’m keeping well and that my symptoms are managed.”
At first, all I heard was ‘cancer’. It doesn’t need to be like that. Pilgrims has helped me to live well; coming to the Time to Create groups is really good for me, otherwise I’d just sit at home. I come here and meet others in the same situation and that really helps.
Mario
Mario also does tattoo work from home. His youngest daughter, Rebecca (21), has asked him to tattoo ‘I love you’ on her arm in his own handwriting. The family are preparing in lots of other ways, too. Mario is planning his funeral to take the pressure off his loved ones and make things as easy for them as possible. He has chosen to be cremated, and his children plan to have his ashes made into jewellery as a special keepsake.
His oldest daughter, Sammy Jo, had asked Mario to make voice recordings after he was diagnosed, so The Blackbird Projectarrived at the perfect time. This is a new service offered by Pilgrims, enabling patients to record messages for loved ones and store them on bespoke blackbird-shaped USB sticks to keep forever.
Artwork by Mario
Mario said: “I’ve got to learn how to die gracefully. That means not being as stubborn and letting people know how I’m feeling. I’m recording goodbyes and thank yous, my parting messages to the kids and the missus, so they can listen to them after I’m gone. There might be a time when they’re feeling a bit rubbish and then they can listen to my voice and remember: ‘Dad would want me to get off my bum and enjoy life.’ I hope my messages can help them in that way.
“I think some people can never say what they want to when people are there, so The Blackbird Project gives them that opportunity. It’s a great relief knowing that the recordings could bring comfort to family and loved ones.”
Pilgrims is helping Mario and his family to make the most of the time they have together. Asked what advice he would give to others in his position, he said:
“Don’t think it’s the end. At first, all I heard was ‘cancer’. It doesn’t need to be like that. Pilgrims has helped me to live well; coming to the Time to Create groups is really good for me, otherwise I’d just sit at home. I come here and meet others in the same situation and that really helps.”
InDying Matters Awareness Week, Pilgrims Hospices will host a day-long festival with speakers, workshops and stalls to provoke conversations about and provide information on death and dying.
From practical things like writing a will, to creating a beautiful and meaningful funeral and much, much more.
This is a free event with some ticketed sessions. All are welcome.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
