Remembering Elspeth: “The hospice became her sanctuary”
Elspeth Ogilvie from Ashford was a bright, creative and joyful young woman.
She enjoyed her job working with babies at a local nursery, having previously been a nanny to twins in London, and had dreams of writing and illustrating children’s books.
In 2023, aged 23, Elspeth was sadly diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour. She underwent surgery and received radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
When her treatment ended in April 2024, she was referred to Pilgrims Hospices for palliative care. Elspeth died at home on 16 December 2024, aged 25.
Elspeth’s parents, Jacky and Mark, share their story, remembering Elspeth and how Pilgrims helped her to make the most of the time she had.
Time to Create groups and Wellbeing events
Elspeth was a talented artist, and she loved music. During her illness, Pilgrims helped Elspeth to continue with creative pursuits. She attended Time to Create, therapeutic art groups held at the hospice Therapy Centre, with her dad.
Although she lost the use of her dominant hand and developed a tremor in her other hand, she was still able to enjoy making art.
Elspeth Ogilvie Artwork 1
Elspeth Ogilvie Artwork 2
Elspeth’s artwork
Jacky: “She was very disparaging about what she created (given she had to use her non-dominant hand, which was affected by a significant tremor due to her medication). However, she looked forward immensely to going; it was definitely the highlight of her week.”
Mark and Jacky with Elspeth’s artwork at the Dead Good Artists exhibition
Time to Create was one of the last things Elspeth left her house for; “she was determined to go”, Mark says.
In 2025, Elspeth’s artwork was featured in Dead Good Artists, an exhibition at The Wooden Box Gallery in Ramsgate, which was a collaborative project with Pilgrims. Relatives and close friends were invited to attend a workshop to talk about the artistic sides of their loved one’s lives; Mark and Jacky took great comfort in this, as it happened just four months after Elspeth’s death, when they were newly bereaved.
Elspeth also loved Living Well sessions at the hospice – the entertainment (especially if music was involved), fun quizzes, food and chats with others. Jacky often accompanied her to help with her care, and Pilgrims provided a wheelchair for Elspeth to get around more easily.
In August 2024, Pilgrims patients enjoyed a dance performance at the Canterbury hospice by Doorstep Duets, a project created by New Adventures and Farnham Maltings as a response to social isolation.
Elspeth attended with her parents; afterwards, they had a picnic lunch prepared by the catering team and took a walk in the gardens.
Care and support
Elspeth was supported by teams across Pilgrims; occupational therapists sourced specialist equipment that enabled her to live independently at home and aid her mobility – including commodes, handrails, a hospital-style bed, a reclining chair and a hoist – and trained Mark and Jacky in how to use it.
A CAMEL inflatable device to help Elspeth off the floor when she fell was invaluable on multiple occasions, as were gadgets to help her get in and out of the car.
Pilgrims also organised carers and district nurses to visit Elspeth at home, and the family were invited to visit the Ashford hospice so that Elspeth would feel comfortable if she needed to stay there.
Jacky: “They were so helpful and kind, always asking what more they could do and how they could empower Elspeth to achieve things that were important to her.
“When I confessed that our cat had been on her inflated mattress at home, whilst Elspeth was staying at the hospice (and I suspected it now wasn’t working, courtesy of little claws!), a replacement arrived swiftly without issue.”
Mark and Elspeth during a trip to Edinburgh in 2024
Mark and Jacky fondly recall Pal, a Wellbeing Practitioner, visiting Elspeth at home when she was unable to leave the house. Pal gave Elspeth a henna decoration on her hand; a little gesture that made a big difference.
Jacky: “Pal stroked her hand and chatted away to her. Elspeth really enjoyed the company of another young person, especially as she knew Pal from her sessions at the hospice. By that point, Elspeth could barely speak, but you could see the pleasure in her eyes.”
When a family friend who was studying photography offered to do a photoshoot with Jacky and Elspeth in the Ashford hospice gardens, Pal was on hand to do Elspeth’s make-up.
Elspeth and Jacky in the Ashford hospice gardens
During the times Elspeth needed extra care, she was able to have a bed at the Ashford hospice; Pilgrims contacted Mark and Jacky daily with updates and to let them know when a place would be available, something they really appreciated.
They were able to visit whenever they wanted, which gave Elspeth great comfort, and food and refreshments were always available.
Jacky:“We could get nutritious inexpensive meals at the hospice; we had no time or energy to shop or cook, so we really appreciated this and it made a big difference.”
Other loved ones were welcomed, too, including Elspeth’s niece, Lola, who enjoyed spending time in the family lounge. With toys, games and books provided for younger family members, it made a difficult time a little easier.
Mark and Jacky were even able to bring the family dog, Rosie, for a visit.
Elspeth Ogilvie Family Photo 2
Elspeth Ogilvie Family Photo 1
Elspeth with her niece, Lola, and her parents and their dog, Rosie
Jacky: “When Elspeth’s world reduced, and particularly when she couldn’t go out for day trips anymore because it was too tiring, the hospice became her sanctuary, it helped her so much.
“She loved having a bath at Pilgrims; the care teams made it such a lovely experience for her, taking their time, washing her hair and helping her feel relaxed.
“She also appreciated the massages she received at Pilgrims, and revelled in those sessions. I was offered these and adored them, too, and felt so calm afterwards.”
As Elspeth’s ability to communicate deteriorated due to the brain tumour and medication, her parents valued the extra time and care Pilgrims’ teams took with her.
Mark: “The staff are so friendly and welcoming; from healthcare assistants, to nurses, to the kitchen team, everyone attuned very quickly to Elspeth’s needs. They understood that firing suggestions at her was counter-productive, so they gave her space to get her message across.”
Jacky: “When I’d eventually figured out what she wanted to eat, I’d pop my head into the kitchen and ask; it never seemed to phase them. It was just so nice, they were so patient.
“Due to her medication, she needed lots of condiments to satisfy her tastebuds, so they made sure she had her own basket, which was regularly topped up.
“We never felt like we were in the way. When I had my airbed beside Elspeth’s hospice bed, the cleaners just worked around us, it was no problem.”
Towards the end of Elspeth’s life, Pilgrims was available by phone 24/7; when anything changed in her condition, her parents could speak to a nurse immediately for advice and support.
Jacky:“This reduced our stress levels immensely, especially during the night and at weekends when our regular GP surgery was unavailable.”
Sunflower Memories and Trees of Love
Mark and Jacky attended Sunflower Memories and Trees of Love for the first time in 2025, during the first year after Elspeth’s death. They enjoyed being in the gardens and seeing some staff they knew.
Mark: “Elspeth adored sunflowers, so when we heard that they were “Pilgrims’ flower”, that made Sunflower Memories extra special for us. She had a pair of Lucy & Yak trousers with a sunflower print, which she loved.
“When she had open cranial surgery in preparation for chemotherapy, she didn’t know how much hair she’d lose, so she bought lots of wooly hats and one of them had sunflowers on.”
Trees of Love was particularly poignant, as it took place close to Elspeth’s first anniversary.
Jacky: “Christmas was Elspeth’s favourite time of year. We didn’t know quite what to expect, but attending a service at the hospice was important to us, as we’d been so often with Elspeth during her illness – for short stays, therapy sessions and wellbeing groups – and we’d spent time in the gardens, too, so being here meant a lot.
“It was beautiful; seeing Elspeth’s dove, the lights and the singing made it very special. Mark didn’t know what I’d written on the dove until he saw it on the day, so that was very sweet. It was lovely coming together with others and having the chance to fundraise for Pilgrims.”
Mark:“It was emotional as it was very close to Elspeth’s first anniversary, but we did well. We had so much help from everybody at the hospice, so it’s our way of giving back.”
Jacky: “Pilgrims offered us support and sanity, and we will forever remember the endless kind faces, caring words and thoughtful gestures. They are incredibly outstanding in all they do.”
Pilgrims run a wide range of wellbeing groups and activities designed to support patients to live well, stay connected and enjoy the best quality of life possible.
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on 01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
25th March 2026
Celebrating 25 years of care at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford
Photograph: Sue Warren, Reception Volunteer
This year, Pilgrims Hospice Ashford marks a very special milestone: 25 years of care, compassion and community since opening on 4 January 2001.
As the youngest of Pilgrims’ hospices, Ashford was guided by the lessons learned at Canterbury (1982) and Thanet (1992), but it was the local community that truly brought it to life. By 1998, east Kent needed more specialist hospice care.
The tranquil meadows at Willesborough were chosen for a purpose-built hospice offering inpatient care, community services and therapeutic support for patients and their families.
The £3.5 million fundraising target felt daunting, but the community response was extraordinary. Businesses, schools, charitable trusts, groups and individual supporters rallied behind the Hospice on the Hill Appeal 2000.
What seemed impossible became reality because people believed hospice care close to home mattered.
At the heart of those early days was founder Ann Robertson OBE, famously taking to a JCB for the 1999 groundbreaking. Her determination mirrored the spirit of the community that built the Ashford hospice from the ground up.
Pam Pullen Volunteer 1
Sarah Smith HCA Ashford 1
Pam Pullen, Reception Volunteer, and Sarah Smith, Healthcare Assistant
That spirit continues today through staff and volunteers working together to create warmth, dignity and comfort. Reception volunteers Jeanette Woodcock, Pam Pullen and Sue Warren, catering assistant Wendy Wigglesworth, and Healthcare Assistant Sarah Smith all remember the hospice from its early days.
Every role, paid or voluntary, is part of the caring community supporting patients and families.
Recent improvements, including the beautifully refurbished lounge, were made possible by community fundraising, local businesses and charitable foundations, offering brighter, more welcoming spaces for families.
For the 25th birthday, displays of memorabilia and shared stories have celebrated the many lives touched by the Ashford hospice.
“Reaching 25 years is a proud and emotional moment,” says Martin Kemp, Hospice Services Manager. “It’s a chance to feel nostalgia for the past while seeing new projects and plans for the future. This birthday celebrates our community and acts as a springboard into the next chapter.”
Ashford’s story is one written by its community, past, present and future.
Wendy Wigglesworth, Catering Assistant, said:
“I feel very honoured to work at the hospice. I have met some amazing people, patients, relatives and staff over the past 25 years.”
Jeanette Woodcock, Reception Volunteer, with Wendy Wigglesworth, Catering Assistant
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
23rd March 2026
Living well in each moment: Lawrence’s journey with Pilgrims Hospices
Lawrence Fox, a Londoner and former construction manager who has lived in Canterbury for 27 years, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2024.
After beginning chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments at the Kent and Canterbury Hospital, he was referred by his specialist nurse to Pilgrims Hospices for additional support.
Lawrence has experienced the holistic benefits of hospice care through wellbeing groups, physiotherapy and complementary therapy:
“I do guided mindfulness sessions at Pilgrims, which I love; they help me stay present in the moment and not get so anxious about the future – that’s the secret. I’m interested in psychology and being mentally strong. And I love being around people; there are some things you can’t tell your family, but you can share them with strangers, which is so helpful.”
Lawrence also attends Living Well groups, which offer talks by speakers on a range of topics, and has had reflexology treatment: “I’d never tried that, so I thought I’d have a go! I found it very relaxing.”
Most recently, he has joined Time to Create, a therapeutic art group where patients can try various artistic activities and processes, and is currently making a memory book:
“It’s nice coming to the hospice and catching up with some friendly faces.”
Lawrence values his physical fitness and says that being active helps him manage his illness; he does Pilates and, thanks to the support he is receiving from Pilgrims, hopes to begin swimming again in the near future, having previously swam for his native London Borough of Islington – “It’s like therapy for me.”
Lawrence continued:
“Without Pilgrims, I wouldn’t have known what to do or where to go after my diagnosis. They’re always here if you need them, and having that back-up is reassuring. The groups get me out of the house and into a routine, and I’ve met so many people – including partners and carers, who are welcome at the hospice groups, as it gives them a break as well.
“I didn’t realise until now that the hospice relies so much on donations, so I want to give back in any way I can, and sharing my story is one way I can do that.”
Pilgrims run a wide range of wellbeing groups and activities designed to support patients to live well, stay connected and enjoy the best quality of life possible.
For more information on Pilgrims Hospices’ Wellbeing Programme:
Call the Pilgrims Hospices Advice Line on 01233 504 133
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
12th March 2026
From grief to giving: How Pilgrims Hospices helped author David Dye navigate loss and find purpose
“Pilgrims Hospices is very special to me. I find it hard to explain why — because it’s more of a feeling than something you can describe. But when you’ve been touched by the kind of care they offer, it stays with you forever.”
For Faversham-based author and Pilgrims supporter David Dye, the journey of grief, healing, and rediscovery began with profound loss — and grew into something lasting and meaningful, thanks to the care and comfort he and his wife, Karen, received from Pilgrims Hospices.
David’s wife, Karen
Karen died in June 2021 after a 10-year battle with an extremely rare and cruel form of cancer. Her illness was long and relentless, involving aggressive treatments, years of clinical trials, and even a complete blood transplant. “What she endured sometimes felt like more torture than the illness itself,” David reflects. “But she faced it all with dignity and extraordinary strength.”
Throughout the last five years of her life, Pilgrims was a constant support — not just for Karen, but for David, too. “They gave us dignity, peace, and a calm, caring environment when we needed it most. The staff and volunteers at Pilgrims have provided end-of-life care for several of my loved ones. Their spirit, soul, and sincere friendship go far beyond professionalism — they offer true humanity. I believe I’ve earned the right to say that.”
In the early weeks after Karen passed, David found himself at a loss. “I was sitting at the kitchen table, feeling utterly useless, shuffling through paperwork to find something — anything — to focus on.”
That’s when he came across a hand-written memoir by his late mother-in-law. It described her early life in South Africa — the lake she lived beside, the canoe she paddled in each day. “Her words were so vivid, I felt I was standing on the lake’s edge, watching her glide by. It pulled me out of my darkness.”
Cold War, Hot Pursuit by David Dye
Inspired, David began to write — at first about his own early life growing up in the concrete jungle of East London. He admits those first 20 pages felt “grey and dismal” in comparison to the colour of his mother-in-law’s writing. But he persisted, scrapping half of it and pressing on. “Soon, reality began to blur into fiction. I was no longer writing a memoir — I had set sail for fantasy land.”
That moment became the start of a new chapter.
Four years later, David has published four novels and recently submitted a fifth. All proceeds from book sales — amounting to thousands of pounds — are donated to Pilgrims Hospices. “Karen told me in a dream not to be tight — to give it all to Pilgrims. And I’ve learned not to argue with her!”
David writes entirely by hand. “I tried the computer but tip-tapping doesn’t take me where I need to go. Writing with a pen lets me drift into other worlds.” Thanks to the help of a brilliant local typist and a supportive publisher, his stories now reach readers far and wide — always with Karen’s memory at their core.
Karen, born and raised in Canterbury, was a beautiful, modest, athletic woman. She was a star of the Archbishop’s School rounders team and a gifted high diver, training at Crystal Palace. She once stunned a poolside crowd in Tunisia by performing a flawless triple somersault from the highest board.
“She was never pretentious,” David recalls. “Just quietly, incredibly capable.”
But it was her love for horses — and all animals — that defined her. A brilliant equestrian, she competed across the country and amassed an impressive collection of rosettes and medals.
“I’m still trying to gather them all for storage,” David says. “It’s not easy.”
One of David’s most powerful memories — fictionalised in his first book — is of a sunset trail ride on a working ranch near Phoenix, Arizona. When a Dobermann puppy was attacked by a pack of coyotes, Karen jumped off her horse, tied the terrified pup to her saddle, and kicked away the circling animals as David watched in awe and fear. “My heart was pounding so hard, I think it reached the ranch before I did. But that’s who she was — brave beyond belief.”
Karen’s teddy bears
Recently, David donated a treasured collection of Karen’s teddy bears to Pilgrims Hospices. Each one is carefully tagged and lovingly prepared for use in fundraising events, or listed on Pilgrims’ eBay site, where rare and collectible bears can raise vital funds.
Family remains at the centre of David’s life.
His son Matthew, who has cerebral palsy, lives independently in Ramsgate and once volunteered at Pilgrims Hospices during a school work placement. David later joined him in hospital volunteering before the COVID-19 pandemic, bringing comfort and treats to patients on the dialysis ward. His daughter has recently returned to the UK with David’s granddaughter to finish her education — and the family’s connection to Kent remains strong.
From his early days working at Simpsons of Piccadilly — where a colleague later modelled the character Mr. Lucas in Are You Being Served? after him — to high-level roles in the finance industry that took him and Karen around the globe, David’s life has been colourful and varied. But the loss of Karen, and the compassionate care they received at Pilgrims, changed everything.
Today, David continues to honour her legacy through creativity, charity, and community. In his garden grow Cercis trees — chosen for their heart-shaped, crimson leaves — planted in memory of Karen.
“If I ever move,” he says, “those trees are coming with me.”
“We’re all in the queue to meet our maker — whether we talk about it or not. But when that moment comes, Pilgrims are there to help us through. That kind of comfort is beyond value. I’ll support them as long as I live.”
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
4th March 2026
Kelvin and Joy’s story
Kelvin and Joy’s story is intertwined with much joy, some real sadness and heartbreak, but one of true love that always continued despite everything that happened between them.
Kelvin and Joy in New Zealand, February 1992
Joy and I were married for 25 years, before separating for a time. We always remained close and Joy always knew that I would be there for her if she ever needed me. I knew her so well having been together for nearly 28 years, and I never stopped loving her.
In the early part of 2008, Joy became quite ill, but despite several appointments with her GP, it wasn’t until she had blood tests in mid-2008 that she was eventually diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia. From this point onwards, we once more became husband and wife in all but name, and I was with her every step of the way on her very brave fight against this dreadful disease until sadly she passed away at the Pilgrims Hospice in Ashford in the early hours of Saturday 19 December 2009.
I will always be so grateful to the Pilgrims Hospice for the wonderful care that they gave to Joy in her final few days and for all the support they gave to Joy’s family and friends at this time. It also remains very special to me to this very day that on the morning Joy passed away, the hospice had arranged for me to stay overnight with her and that I could be with her during her final few hours before she sadly passed away. The compassion that the hospice staff showed to me will remain with me for the rest of my life.
Although it is now over 16 years since Joy passed away, I still miss her every day and treasure the love that we shared together over so many years.
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Kelvin Joy 3
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Kelvin and Joy through the years
The hospice was there for us when we needed them most, and it is for this reason I continue to support them in a number of ways today via the Memory Tree, Sunflower Memories and Trees of Love. For me, leaving a gift in my Will to Pilgrims Hospices is a further way to say thank you to them in Joy’s memory so that others may receive the same wonderful care and support that she did.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
17th February 2026
Zoo comes to hospice for Lorenzo’s 8th birthday
Pilgrims Hospices helped make one little boy’s birthday wish come true when a zoo experience was brought to his mum’s bedside.
Lorenzo with his birthday balloons
Rosanna, who is receiving care at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury, had hoped to take her son, Lorenzo, to the zoo for his 8th birthday on Sunday 15 February 2026.
Sadly, due to her poor health, a family day out wasn’t possible. Instead, the hospice team decided to bring the zoo to them.
Lorenzo, his brother Luca (10), and cousin Mischa (2) gathered at the hospice alongside their dad, Rob, grandparents Claire and Gero, aunties and uncles, and close family members from Herne Bay and Whitstable.
The Pilgrims catering team prepared a lovely traditional birthday tea, complete with freshly made sandwiches and colourful jelly and cake, creating a warm and joyful party atmosphere.
Lorenzo excitedly opened presents, including a cuddly dinosaur, Lego, and plenty of sweets, some of his favourite things.
To ensure Rosanna could be at the heart of the celebration, nurses carefully brought her bed into the hospice Therapy Centre, creating space for everyone to be together.
After lunch, a special surprise arrived courtesy of Creepy Claws Animal Encounters in Teynham, who kindly volunteered their time to bring along a selection of fascinating creatures.
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Lorenzo Birthday 8
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Lorenzo Birthday 1
From reptiles to other “creepy crawlies,” the experience delighted the children, and Rosanna bravely joined in, holding the animals and sharing laughter with her family. Being able to take part together created precious memories at a time that matters most.
Rosanna’s husband Rob said:
“We can’t thank everyone enough for the special kindness we have been given here at Pilgrims. You have all been part of making Rosanna’s time here warm, comfortable, and peaceful, not just for her, but for all of us.”
Claire, Rosanna’s mum, added: “Thank you all so much; we now have a really precious memory for the family to share.”
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Hospice Services Manager, Sam Churchyard, reflected:
“It’s wonderful to help this lovely family share such a special moment. The team was determined to make the birthday truly memorable, and everyone pulled together to make it happen. We’re also incredibly grateful to Michael at Creepy Claws Animal Encounters for bringing along these fascinating creatures for the family to enjoy.”
Shirley Clark, from the Marketing and Communications team at Pilgrims, photographed the day:
“It was a privilege to capture these moments for the family. Those natural smiles, the laughter, and the little in-between moments, will become treasured memories for years to come.”
At Pilgrims Hospices, care extends beyond clinical support; it’s about helping families live well together, right to the end, and creating moments of joy when they’re needed most.
Pilgrims Hospices provides compassionate, specialist care free of charge to thousands of people in east Kent each year who are living with life-limiting conditions. Support is offered in patients’ homes, in the community, and at our three hospice sites in Canterbury, Thanet and Ashford. We also run a 24-hour advice line.
