Kevin Carlton and Dympna Goldsack from Canterbury first met at a Pilgrims Hospices bereavement support group. Their spouses, Gill and Colin, each received Pilgrims care and died within days of each other in December 2018.
Their story shows that life continues after bereavement and throughout grief, and how hospice care supports loved ones into the future.
Kevin’s wife, Gill, received Pilgrims care and died at home, aged 62. They met as teenagers in 1972, were married for 42 years, and had three daughters: Emma, Jennifer and Laura.
Dympna’s husband, Colin Goldsack, died at the Canterbury hospice, aged 70.
Gill and Kevin
Kevin and Dympna met after being invited by Pilgrims to attend a bereavement support group. Both were reluctant to attend, but encouraged by family, they decided to give it a try. After completing the sessions, they kept in touch so that they could continue to support each other. Some months later, Kevin invited Dympna to lunch as a friend.
Dympna added: “Initially, I was hesitant and turned Kevin down. It felt too early to be socialising with another man. But I thought about it some more and changed my mind, and we started meeting for lunch once a week.”
They began spending more time together, and when COVID hit, Kevin’s daughters suggested that they form a support bubble to avoid isolation. This meant that, although living separately, they could continue to see each other as if they were members of the same household. After navigating the pandemic, there was no looking back, and they continue to live happily together.
Colin and Dympna
Kevin also plays Pilgrims Hospices Lottery and the couple support Pilgrims through various events, including Sunflower Memories, where they each dedicate special sunflower markers to Gill and Colin. They praise Pilgrims highly for the care they received throughout their hospice and bereavement journeys.
Kevin said: “I thought a hospice was where you go to die, but it’s so much more than that. Pilgrims were as much interested in me as they were in Gill. I remember one hospice doctor who made a special trip to see Gill at home during their already busy day. That extra level of care is very special.
“When the time came, Gill was able to die at home with our family beside her. I held her hand, told her I love her, she smiled at me and took her last breath. Pilgrims were with us every step of the way, ensuring that everything was our decision.”
Dympna said: “Colin was frightened of the hospice when it was first mentioned, but Pilgrims doctors put his mind at rest about the end of life, and that made it much easier to have acceptance. The care was marvelous, just brilliant. Pilgrims is always in your corner.”
The couple added: “We have Pilgrims to thank for us getting together. You can’t see it at first, but there has to be hope; that’s why we started going to the counselling groups. Now we have a future. It will be lovely if our story can help others who are worried it’s going to be the end of world – you come pretty close, but there is hope.”
Sophie Van Walwyk, Head of Bereavement Services at Pilgrims, said:
“As National Grief Awareness Week draws to a close, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who participated in our events and engaged with the resources we shared. This week has been a powerful reminder of the importance of understanding, supporting, and normalising the grief experience within our community.
“From our insightful introduction to healthy grief to the inspiring stories shared by those who have benefited from our Stepping Stones bereavement services, we have explored the many facets of grief together. We’ve highlighted the vital role our volunteers play in supporting others and showcased community initiatives, like the Wooden Box Cafe, that foster connection and healing right at the heart of our communities.
“The interviews with individuals who have navigated their own grief journeys remind us that while loss is deeply personal, we are never truly alone. The bonds formed through shared experiences can bring light to even the darkest of times.
“I encourage everyone to take what they’ve learned this week into their own lives and communities. Whether through our grief awareness training programs, or simply by offering a compassionate listening ear to someone in need, each of us can make a difference.
“Thank you for joining us on this journey. Let us continue to support one another, advocate for awareness, and ensure that grief is understood and normalised. Together, we can build a compassionate community where healing is possible.”
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
5th December 2024
Matt finds solace in Pilgrims Hospices bereavement support services
After Matt’s wife, Emily, received Pilgrims Hospices care, he was offered counselling to help him process his experiences.
Matt initially attended the Bereavement Café at the Thanet hospice, an informal support group facilitated by trained volunteers. It provides an opportunity to meet and talk with other bereaved people in a relaxed and welcoming safe space over coffee and a biscuit.
Matt said: “I was anxious at first, but I quickly felt welcome at the Bereavement Café. We were split into small groups with a volunteer, which I found really helpful, as I felt a bit uncertain about sharing my experiences within the larger overall group. The volunteers are great, it’s a relaxed, friendly atmosphere, and it’s nice to have tea and biscuits, too.
Westcliff, Ramsgate walking group
“I haven’t been to the Bereavement Café in a while, but I’m planning to go to the next one. With Emily’s birthday and our wedding anniversary coming up, my grief is heightened, and I’m aware that I might need more support.”
Westcliff, Ramsgate walking route
Whilst at the Bereavement Café, Matt read about the Walk & Talk groups in a Stepping Stones brochure. He now attends the Pegwell Bay and Westcliff, Ramsgate walking groups.
Matt continued: “It’s great that they’re so local to me, as it makes it easier to fit in around work commitments. You don’t need to walk every week – sometimes, I cope better if I’m not thinking about Emily – so it’s useful to be able to dip in and out.
“I love being in nature and amongst the wildlife; the walks are relaxing and give you other things to talk about besides your grief. There is no pressure for time, you just go at your own pace. There’s also a cafe where we sometimes stop for a drink, which is really nice.
“I have reasonable support from family and friends, but they’re also dealing with their own grief, so I don’t want to bring them down all the time. That’s why the Bereavement Café and Walk & Talk groups are so helpful, because they allow you to vocalise your feelings, in a safe space, with others who are experiencing similar emotions.”
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
4th December 2024
Stepping Stones of compassion: Maria’s journey from grief to giving back
For Maria, joining Pilgrims’ Stepping Stones bereavement services was not just a chance to help, but a deeply personal calling. After the death of her husband, Pilgrims Hospices provided Maria with solace during one of her darkest times. Today, she devotes her time to others on a similar path, facilitating the monthly Bereavement Café and weekly Walk and Talk groups.
Maria’s background in tutoring and patient support had already taught her the power of group support, and her experience with Pilgrims added another layer of understanding. Her journey started as a participant in the Bereavement Café, where she found immediate comfort among volunteers and attendees bound by a shared experience. Surrounded by people who truly understood her grief, Maria felt reassured that her feelings were part of a larger, collective journey.
During her healing process, Maria also sought time outdoors, even traveling to Scotland for a nature-focused bereavement group. Being surrounded by nature’s rhythms brought her a sense of calm and she found essential to her own healing; a concept incorporated into the weekly Walk and Talk group. In these sessions, participants walk side by side, finding peace and connection in the natural surroundings. Maria treasures the 40 minutes they share, spotting wildlife, walking through the changing seasons, and allowing conversations to flow naturally. Afterwards, the group often continues over coffee, sharing stories, laughter, and the beginning of new friendships.
Today, Maria listens with an open heart to those navigating grief, providing the same steady support she once received. She knows how isolating grief can feel, and for many, the group offers a space where they feel comfortable discussing their emotions in a way that might be difficult with family or friends. Maria feels privileged to witness people’s progress, from small victories to blossoming friendships, each a testament to the strength of shared compassion.
Reflecting on her journey with Stepping Stones, Maria describes it as “humbling and profoundly rewarding.” She believes that while there’s no magic fix for grief, the kinship and understanding these groups provide can be life-changing. Having once been carried by this support herself, Maria now finds joy in being a part of someone else’s journey. In her words, “It’s wonderful to be here for others and to help foster the sense of healing and hope that Stepping Stones brings.”
Maria’s journey serves as a reminder that even in times of profound loss, connection and community can guide the path to healing.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
2nd December 2024
National Grief Awareness Week 2024
From 2-8 December 2024, National Grief Awareness Week offers a vital opportunity to shine a light on the emotional toll of grief and the support available to those who need it most.
At Pilgrims Hospices, we believe that no one should have to face grief alone. That’s why our Stepping Stones bereavement services are here for every adult in east Kent, offering compassionate and practical support, no matter the circumstances of their loss.
Stepping Stones provides a safe space for individuals to connect with others who understand their pain, offering group support sessions across Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet. Our volunteers, trained to guide people through the complex emotions of grief, help create an environment where individuals can share their stories, learn from others, and find solace in new friendships. These bereavement support groups are open to everyone, fostering a community where healing begins through shared experiences and support.
In 2019, Pilgrims launched Stepping Stones Bereavement Cafés, which are held monthly at each of our local hospices. These cafés offer a relaxed, welcoming space where bereaved adults can meet, talk, and learn coping strategies, while enjoying refreshments. Each 1.5-hour session is designed to be intimate, giving participants the choice to engage as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. The Ashford café meets on the first Friday of each month, Canterbury on the first Saturday, and Thanet on the last Friday.
For those who find comfort in nature, our Stepping Stones Bereavement Walk & Talk groups offer a unique form of support. These gentle walks, held weekly across east Kent, allow participants to connect with others while benefiting from fresh air and light exercise. Whether walking around Conningbrook Lakes in Ashford, Toddlers Cove in Canterbury, Pegwell Nature Reserve in Cliffsend or Westcliff, Ramsgate, these outings provide a peaceful environment for healing.
As we expand our bereavement services, we’re excited to launch new bereavement support services across east Kent. To make this possible, we’re looking for caring, empathetic individuals to join us as volunteers. If you’re passionate about supporting others through grief, we invite you to reach out to our Bereavement Services Coordinators at [email protected] or call 01233 504 127(Option 2) to learn more about how you can help.
At Pilgrims Hospices, we believe in the power of community and connection. This National Grief Awareness Week, we encourage everyone to come together to acknowledge the pain of loss and discover the healing that comes through shared support.
You don’t have to walk this path alone – Stepping Stones is here for you.
Grief is a natural, normal and very necessary response to loss, but one that often leaves us feeling overwhelmed, isolated and fearful of facing a future without our loved one.
National Grief Awareness week encourages empathy, compassion, and support for those who are grieving, emphasising that grief is a universal and often challenging part of the human experience, it aims to break the stigma surrounding loss and grief.
This week serves as an opportunity to raise awareness about the emotional, psychological, and social impacts of grief, and to create safe spaces for individuals to share their stories and find support.
Throughout this week, Pilgrims is shining a light on our Stepping Stones bereavement services, highlighting the importance of support, education and community connection in the bereavement journey.
2 December 2024 Grief Awareness Our pre-recorded bite-sized Grief Awareness session gives an introduction to how healthy grief works, looking at some of the theories that help us to explain and understand the grieving process, and identifying normal reactions many people experience when they are touched by grief.
4 December 2024Become a Stepping Stones bereavement support volunteer Read an interview with Maria Spencer, who was inspired to become a bereavement support volunteer after Stepping Stones helped through her own grief journey.
5 December 2024How Stepping Stones can help Read the stories of Fraser and Matt, who have been supported through their grief by Stepping Stones bereavement services.
6 December 2024Grief Awareness Training & Education courses Find out more about our Grief Awareness training courses suitable for anyone who provides support to bereaved people.
7 December 2024Community bereavement support An interview with Dawn Baldwin of the Wooden Box Café, who approached Pilgrims when she wanted to set up a bereavement group in her own cafe, at the heart of her community.
8 December 2024Learning to live and love again after loss An interview with Kevin and Dympna, who connected through Pilgrims bereavement support and became united in their grief after both losing their partners.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
30th September 2024
Have you heard about Pilgrims Hospices Stepping Stones Bereavement Services?
Grief is a natural yet overwhelming experience that often leaves us feeling isolated and unsure where to seek support.
Pilgrims Stepping Stones Bereavement Support services are here to help, offering comprehensive support to any adult in east Kent, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their loss.
Stepping Stones provides a variety of support groups in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet. These groups are open to all adults in east Kent. The program’s specially trained volunteers guide individuals through the grieving process, helping them understand and navigate the complex emotions that come with loss. By sharing experiences and listening to others, participants often find comfort in knowing they are not alone, forming new friendships and support networks that can extend beyond their grief.
In 2019, Pilgrims introduced Stepping Stones Bereavement Cafés, held monthly at each local Pilgrims hospice. These cafés offer a relaxed, safe environment for bereaved adults to meet others, share their experiences, and learn strategies to cope with grief. Each 1.5-hour session is limited in size to ensure everyone has the opportunity to participate as much or as little as they wish. The Ashford café meets on the first Friday of each month, Canterbury on the first Saturday, and Thanet on the last Friday, with refreshments provided.
Recognising the benefits of nature, gentle exercise, and social interaction, Pilgrims also launched Stepping Stones Bereavement Walk & Talk Groups. These weekly walks (weather permitting) offer a tranquil setting for bereaved adults to support each other through their grief. Walks take place in various locations across east Kent, including Conningbrook Lakes in Ashford, Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury, and Pegwell Nature Reserve or The Westcliff in Ramsgate.
Pilgrims is eager to expand these invaluable services by recruiting new volunteers. We are especially interested in volunteers to help establish new walking and coffee groups in the Romney Marsh and Deal areas. If you are passionate about supporting others through their grief, please contact our Bereavement Services Coordinators at [email protected]or call 01233504 127 (Option 2) to learn more about volunteering opportunities.
What participants say
“It was invaluable to have a safe space to express my feelings.”
“I always feel better after a meeting.”
“A fantastic group, so cathartic!”
Join us in supporting the bereaved community of east Kent.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
11th September 2024
From grief to giving back: Carol Todd’s journey as a Stepping Stones volunteer
When Carol Todd first experienced the care and compassion of Pilgrims Hospices, she knew she wanted to give back.
“I wasn’t ready to volunteer immediately after losing my husband,” Carol reflects. “But when the time came, I wanted to give back to the charity that had given us so much.”
Carol taking on a wing walk
Carol’s journey as a volunteer is nothing short of remarkable. Not only has she taken on a role as a facilitator at the monthly grief cafe meetings and occasionally helps with the wellbeing group, but she has also embraced fundraising with enthusiasm and courage. In 2021, Carol completed her third wing walk, raising £3,800 for Pilgrims Hospices. Recently, she took to the skies once again, raising an additional £900 for the charity.
“I’ve done four wing walks now,” Carol says with a smile. “I suppose that makes me a frequent flyer!”
But for Carol, it’s not just about the thrill of the wing walk, it’s about giving back to the community that supported her during one of the most challenging times of her life. “Pilgrims Hospices allowed my husband to spend his final weeks at home, and for that, I am forever grateful. Volunteering is a way for me to help others going through similar experiences.”
Carol’s dedication to Pilgrims Hospices extends beyond her volunteer work. She has also been involved with local organisations such as the Chamber of Commerce, the local tourism association, and the Thanet Good Neighbours group during the COVID-19 pandemic. Her commitment to her community is evident in everything she does.
“What makes volunteering for Pilgrims Hospices special is the people,” Carol explains. “It’s the wonderful volunteers, and the staff like Annie, Simone, Jane and Zoe, and the incredible group of people we meet during such a difficult time in their lives. It’s a privilege to be part of this.”
Carol’s story is a shining example of how one person can make a difference. Her journey from grief to giving back is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of community support.
To learn more about how you can support Pilgrims Hospices or become a volunteer like Carol, visit pilgrimshospices.org/volunteer.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
