John’s journey: Finding solace and connection through Pilgrims Hospices’ Walk and Talk for Carers
John from Sandwich reflects on the benefits of Pilgrims Hospices Walk and Talk group for carers. John kindly took time to share his thoughts, encouraging those who care for their loved ones in Pilgrims care to invest a little time in themselves just once each week.
As a dedicated attendee of the Walk and Talk group, he shares his heartfelt sentiments about his experiences.
“Being part of Pilgrims Hospices’ support network has been a true blessing for both myself and my wife, Isabel. She was referred by her GP to Pilgrims for assistance with managing her COPD and breathlessness. The support we’ve received has been invaluable, offering helpful advice. We both have a sense of profound gratitude for the care provided. We truly feel supported in our journey.
“Isabel has been under Pilgrims’ care since September 2023, which led me to join the Walk and Talk for Carers group. As a keen walker, I have stravaiged (to quote such a lovely Scottish word for walking) the Highlands and Islands of Scotland, including the West Highland Way and the Road to the Isles. With an adventurous spirit, honed through years as a police officer and trainer of police recruits, I find solace in the tranquility of nature.
“Joining the Walk and Talk group has been a delightful experience. The beauty of nature surrounds us, from the serene bird songs to the captivating sightings of rarer species such as Cetti’s Warbler and the White Egret. It’s incredible to witness the resurgence of wildlife.
Our Carers Walking Group enables people to share life experiences, common concerns, and their different coping strategies. It’s a chance for carers to ensure they are looking after themselves in order to best look after their loved one.
Jane Stanley, Pilgrims Hospices Wellbeing Practitioner
“Our small group welcomes all who seek companionship and respite while caring for a loved one. Despite occasional weather constraints, we’ve never missed a walk. It’s a chance to connect, share stories, and appreciate the wonders of nature together. The camaraderie forged is truly special.
“The Walk and Talk group isn’t just about physical exercise; it’s a sanctuary for carers to rejuvenate their spirits and form lasting bonds. Supported by the Pilgrims’ Wellbeing team, we find solace in each other’s company. At three score years and ten, I cherish these moments of relaxation and reflection, savouring my retirement alongside newfound friends.”
“Isabel and I share a lifetime of memories, from our meeting at Stirling University to our adventures among the Scottish islands and around the Rocky Mountains and the trails of Canada.”
During the walks, John said: “I have the chance to reminisce about life’s twists and turns, from witnessing the nearby Richborough cooling towers rise and fall, to celebrating such milestones as my marriage to Isabel at Gretna Green. Even while apart, our bond remains strong, with Isabel having time to indulge in, and catch up on, her favourite TV shows, while I treasure recalling my time as a pipe major, playing the bagpipes in Edinburgh Castle, and leading marches through the streets of London and Tokyo.
“In essence, the Walk and Talk for Carers group embodies the spirit of companionship and renewal, offering respite from life’s demands and fostering connections that enrich our souls.
“Every Monday afternoon you can join us on our Walk and Talk for Carers group through Pegwell Bay Country Park. It is led by two of the hospice staff. You can take time out, and breathe in the invigorating fresh sea air. It’s flat ground — nothing too strenuous. We talk about everything and nothing or just share a laugh.
“The reserve is a mosaic of habitats of saltmarsh, mudflats and chalk shore. Pegwell is the major wildlife migration route from and to Europe. As the season dictates, you can watch thousands of lapwings on their long migration routes. Our group has seen shelducks, redshanks, avocets, oystercatchers, terns and cormorants, and a whole list more. Our favourite is a white egret, whose presence seems to welcome us on each walk.
I cherish these moments of relaxation and reflection, savouring my retirement alongside newfound friends.
John
“Across from the Shellness point of the River Stour is the largest breeding ground for Common or Harbour seals in Kent. It is wonderful to see them resting on the sandbank curled up head and tail, looking like bananas. The walk passes through scrubland, dogwood meadows, and grazing for highland cattle and wild but gentle horses. The walk takes about an hour but no one is rushing you. If we have been very good, there is a cafe at the end of the walk to enjoy a cuppa, rest our feet, and continue our chats.
“The walks are a light hearted, friendly and no doubt healthy break from carers duties. If you do need a serious talk, then there are those there to listen who understand.
“So put on a woolly hat, stout walking shoes, and a warm coat, and I will lend you a set of binoculars.”
Thank you for sharing your story, John, you will have inspired so many of us to take in the fresh air!
For information about Pilgrims Hospices Welling services, please email [email protected] or call 01233 504 127 to talk to a member of our care team.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
10th August 2023
Kev Rob and Eddie are making the most of Pilgrims therapy groups
Pilgrims Hospices Wellbeing groups offer a holistic approach to improving the quality of life for their patients. The groups provide a variety of activities and sessions that aim to enhance both mental and emotional wellbeing.
Therapy Group users Kev, Rob and Eddie share their thoughts on the benefits of Pilgrims Wellbeing.
Kev – when I initially came along to the Wellbeing Groups at Pilgrims, I went home and said to my wife Gwenn, this isn’t for me. She persuaded me to give it a little time; I’m so pleased that I did, I have met friendly and interesting people in the groups and enjoyed some of the variety of entertainment and talks that have been provided by the Wellbeing teams.
I discovered that talking and listening to people who are experiencing similar symptoms, and things that I’m experiencing, is really good therapy. I’ve had a chance to express my feelings in a relaxed and friendly environment.
I was a plumber in my working career, and have met people from all walks of life; here at the Therapy Centre, I’ve found lots in common with so many people here, and laugh a great deal when we’re all together.
We’ve made great friendships, and will exchange telephone numbers in order to stay in touch; we hope to continue to meet even after our therapy sessions have finished.
Rob – I’ve been very lucky and blessed with an interesting life. I had my own taxi cab firm in central London, then noticed there was a greater need for ambulance services. I introduced a private ambulance service, which supports the London hospitals including the NHS. I’ve had an interesting and varied career, and have been fortunate to learn to fly a plane amongst many other interesting things.
I’ve been managing my brain cancer diagnosis since May 2022. I had been very fit and healthy until then. I woke up one morning to find myself shuffling, and not really able to pick my feet up. After scans and consultations with the neurological doctor, it was a shock, as there really hadn’t been any warning that I was becoming unwell.
Rob who is 67 years of age, said, “We take our health for granted, I’m doing as much as possible to remain active, and enjoying life as best I can. I have my wife, children and grandchildren for support which is really special for me. My visits to the Pilgrims Therapy Centre keep me feeling very positive, and I enjoy the company of others using the Wellbeing services, and the Pilgrims teams are always there full of positive messages, and useful information about support services, and how to look after myself.”
Eddie – I was a plumber and have worked in a huge variety of properties for a wide variety of companies and people. We often laugh a lot while we’re here at the Therapy Centre, when we’re chatting about our life’s experiences. I can’t express enough how important the groups are, to keep everyone focused on looking after themselves and making the very most of our own skills.
Although I have to keep my meals to quite simple foods, I’m always so well catered for at the group lunches. It’s a pleasure to sit and catch up with the group, we talk about our families, what’s happening locally, how we’re all feeling, what happens next and so much more. But perhaps more than any other thing, we laugh and relax with the Pilgrims care team.
The gentlemen are soon to move on from Pilgrims Hospices Wellbeing Groups, having had support to give them skills and confidence to live life to the full in every moment. With new friendships forged, they hope to continue to meet socially and share their experiences moving forward.
Pilgrims team of nurses, doctors and therapists work together to offer a range of Wellbeing programmes to support patients, their families and friends.
Offering services to help people live better at home; these are available through the Wellbeing and Social Programmes held at our Therapy Centres. By helping to manage symptoms, the care teams can support people to cope with the changes in their lives, giving practical advice, and helping people to think about the future.
Pilgrims’ Wellbeing Programme is free if you live in east Kent and you have been diagnosed with an incurable illness. It aims to enhance your wellbeing – in mind and body. To find out more click here.
Each year Pilgrims supports thousands of local people coping with a life-limiting illness and their families. The charity offers a range of services: from end-of-life care given on its wards, to its Wellbeing Programme supporting people after they are diagnosed to live well and stay independent.
12th April 2023
The Blackbird Project continues to soar at Pilgrims Hospices
The Blackbird Project helps people hear their loved ones’ voices – even when they’re no longer here.
Sheena and Nick Jackaman lost their son Ben in 2017, when he was only 34 years old. He was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury. As with many bereaved families, they realised how much they missed the sound of Ben’s voice of which they had no recent recordings.
Nick and Sheena Jackaman
They, his sister Anna, family and their friends raised funds in his memory, in order to create a legacy project that would allow grieving families to listen to the voice of their loved one, and feel comforted at any time.
From this idea, the Blackbird Project was born and co-founded with Pilgrims Hospices. The project name came from the family’s love of The Beatles track ‘Blackbird’ which Ben played for them on his guitar before he was diagnosed with cancer.
From Spring 2019, Blackbird facilitators at the hospice have been trained to work with patients to record messages, poems, thoughts, recipes, details of their favourite music or anything that the patient would like to say.
After recording, the memory messages are downloaded onto a little blackbird-shaped USB stick, and given to the person who the patient has nominated.
Sheena and Nick continue to support Pilgrims, and more recently have donated beautiful Blackbird paintings to our three hospices, and printed cards that are for sale to raise important funds for patient care and services.
They said: “Our friend Caroline Brett is a talented artist who lives in Spain. She painted the wonderful blackbirds for us as a surprise gift. Greetings cards have also been printed from the original paintings, to sell and raise funds for The Blackbird Project. We are delighted to have her support with the beautifully detailed prints; we still feel surrounded by Ben’s love. Ben was highly creative, working in graphic design, and had a gift for music. I’m sure he would be very proud of our blackbird choice, and our way of recognising the compassion and care provided by Pilgrims Hospices who took us all under their wings at the most difficult of times. We will continue to raise funds in Ben’s memory, especially to support people who are facing similar challenges in their bereavement.”
In folklore, the blackbird is the first bird to sing in the dawn chorus, and the last bird singing as night falls. Its call is distinctive and is instantly recognisable, making it a very appropriate name for the project.
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
5th April 2023
Broadstairs Beavers get creative with Pilgrims Hospices
The generous 11th Broadstairs Beavers, visited Pilgrims Hospice Thanet with Tracey Garnier, to present their donation of £200. The Beavers had been saving money each week, to help support people who need important Pilgrims’ care.
They were interested to find out more about activities that take place in the Therapy Centre, and enjoyed a craft session during their visit.
Jane Stanley, Wellbeing Practitioner said:
“It was such a great evening! We had prepared packs of 3D desktop beavers to make, and coiling dreamcatcher snakes to decorate. After a brief overview of some of the Wellbeing groups here at Pilgrims, the Beavers ‘beavered’ on with the crafts. They enjoyed the cheque handover and having their photograph taken. We also had a new Beaver invested into the group, and they all marched out happily holding their beavers and snakes.
“They loved hearing about the groups we run for patients, and seeing the warm safe space of our Therapy Centre, while enjoying the cutting and sticking crafts. They thought about a message to put in their desktop beaver; one wrote a message for someone who had been unkind to them at school, and was going to give the beaver to them as a gift.
“The evening showed the kindness of this community group, donating a fantastic sum to the good work done at Pilgrims.”
Tracey Garnier, Unit Clerk continued:
“I am Tracey (Tic Tac) my Beaver name, and I work as the Unit Clerk in Pilgrims Hospice Thanet. I joined the hospice team a year ago, after a career change, having previously worked in education for 26 years as a learning support assistant. My other assistant leader also works at the hospice – Caroline (Tu Tu) is part of the fundraising team, and joined our group 5 years ago, after coming on a Beavers District Hike which was donating money to Pilgrims Hospices.
“Each week, we encourage the Beavers to bring in small change which is collected and then donated to a charity. Over the COVID period, we were not allowed to meet so this all stopped.
Tracey added: “I approached Billy Williams, Pilgrims Wellbeing Lead, to see if it would be possible for the Beavers to visit the therapy area, and undertake an art activity. I wanted the Beavers to see how their donation would help to support local people who need care; helping them to understand having seen the physical place.
“Jane has been amazing and came up with some ideas and beavered away to make sure everything was ready for the evening. We asked the Beavers some general questions, then asked Jane to tell us what it is that happens in that area. They were very interested and surprised by the variety of things. We then started the art activity which they really enjoyed.
“I hope to incorporate some other activities in our coming sessions, and hope to visit the hospice again. Watch this space.”
Caroline Dixon, from Pilgrims said:“We had a fabulous time with our Broadstairs Beavers, they were really keen to learn, and by visiting the hospice, it’s given them an opportunity to find out first-hand about the special care we offer here.”
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
30th March 2023
Kent Police visit Pilgrims Hospices to empower patients to stay safe
Emma Swietochowski-Hay, Kent Police’s Fraud Prevention Co-ordinator, was invited to talk at the Living Well Group in the Therapy Centre at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury, by Kim and Kelly, Wellbeing Practitioners.
The talk was to highlight how criminal activity faces us all, and how we can make simple changes to our reactions, and practices to help to keep safe and secure when it comes to fraudulent activities.
Emma has hands-on experience, working as a uniformed Police Community Support Officer in Ashford. She is passionate about passing on her experience of local crime, and how to take steps to prevent this, by empowering vulnerable people within our community, to keep them safe and keep criminals at bay.
Emma said: “This role is so important within our community, helping people to keep safe from scams and fraudsters is vital in today’s world of the internet, and telephone criminals. My work helps people to understand how to make sensible choices and decisions when being approached by potential criminals, and how to report those trying to scam them via the internet and email.”
The talk was well received and created a lot of discussion within the group. Emma covered scam calls, text message scams, investment and romance fraud to name but a few. Most importantly, she reassured the group that no one person should ever feel embarrassed or unable to call the Fraud Police for help and advice, as this is an all too common practice, and gave the group useful numbers to contact.
Advice was given regarding banking, internet, remote access and courier fraud. She explained how to take appropriate measures to ensure people are speaking to the ‘right’ contact, and not unscrupulous scammers.
The Therapy Centre is a safe space, where patients and carers have mentioned how comfortable and at ease they feel when they arrive. This makes us really proud to be a part of Pilgrims and being able to make a difference to peoples’ wellbeing.
Kim and Kelly, Wellbeing Practitioners
The group commented how informative the session was, and that they realised the need to keep extra safe when storing information, and passwords online, and that they would be passing on the information they gained to their friends and family. They said that they had really enjoyed the session.
Kim and Kelly, Wellbeing Practitioners, said:
“Our groups are great fun, including creative and educational activities, enabling our patients and their carers to regain their identities and not feel overshadowed by their illness. The Therapy Centre is a safe space, where patients and carers have mentioned how comfortable and at ease they feel when they arrive. This makes us really proud to be a part of Pilgrims and being able to make a difference to peoples’ wellbeing. We enjoy helping people to ‘Live Well’, and the smiles and laughter we see during our groups.”
Pilgrims Wellbeing team run a wide variety of activities to support patients living with life-limiting conditions. Patients can join Pilgrims groups to improve their mobility, mental wellbeing, creativity and general interest.
Our Wellbeing Programme is free if you live in east Kent, and you have been diagnosed with a palliative illness. It aims to enhance your wellbeing, in mind and body.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to thousands of people in east Kent coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress. Care is provided from three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. To offer these services to patients and their families, the charity must raise £11 million each year from the generous local community.
2nd November 2022
Maddie: “Pilgrims is a beautiful place where illness can be forgotten”
Maddie from Ashford was diagnosed with a terminal illness in July 2021.
She attends Time to Create, a weekly art therapy group at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford, which is helping her to live well and make the most of each moment.
Coming to Pilgrims for the first time
Maddie’s dad received Pilgrims’ care, so the family already had first-hand experience of the local hospice charity and its wellbeing services. He also enjoyed Time to Create sessions at the hospice.
Maddie said: “It was great for him; it got him out of the house, he made friends, and he loved the food! We’re still in touch with one of his friends’ wives, which is really nice.”
Before her diagnosis, Maddie was always active; she rode horses and was a keen baker. She said: “I was in two minds about being referred to Pilgrims; I hadn’t been to the hospice since Dad died. But having seen the care that he received, I decided to give it a go. As well as coming to the groups, I’m monitored by Pilgrims and they check my medications. Marion, one of the counsellors, pops in to see me, and Gary the maintenance engineer says hello, too – he was here when Dad was in the hospice. So there is continuity, and I feel supported in several ways.”
The activities give me the opportunity to do what I used to, albeit in a different way. I’ve had to learn to be a bit more relaxed, but I’m getting there. I can’t paint or draw or colour, that’s why my own little projects work well for me.
Maddie
Melissa Friend
Although Maddie can’t use her hands anymore, Melissa Friend, Wellbeing Practitioner helps her to take part in all the creative activities on offer. These have included candle making and building terrariums, indoor gardening containers that hold plants.
Maddie continued: “I’ve made friends and I love coming together with everyone. You can chat, participate or not, just whatever you feel – there’s no pressure. The activities give me the opportunity to do what I used to, albeit in a different way. I’ve had to learn to be a bit more relaxed, but I’m getting there. I can’t paint or draw or colour, that’s why my own little projects work well for me. Mel helps me a lot; we almost work in tandem – she is, in effect, my hands. That makes me really happy, and I look forward to coming here each week.
“Pilgrims is a beautiful place where illness can be forgotten. You can forget everything for a short time; it doesn’t change anything, but you can forget and share experiences with others. We all benefit in our own individual way.”
Maddie’s legacy
Through attending Time to Create sessions, Maddie has begun producing artwork for friends and family. She feels that it has brought her closer to her sister and her wider circle of friends.
She said: “Now people know I come to the group, they ask me to make them things; they want something to remember me by. Let’s face it, I have a terminal illness – but Time to Create gives me the chance to build a legacy for my loved ones to have when I’m gone.”
Maddie loves sunflowers and they are a running theme in her artwork: “They’re like my trademark!” she says. She has recently made a sunflower picture for her sister, and a framed teddy bear for a friend’s son, which includes a small sunflower decoration. Pink buttons also feature in Maddie’s artwork. She explained: “Pink was Mum’s favourite colour, so the buttons represent her and the sunflowers are me. I know that means a lot to my sister.
“Taking photos of my work also makes me feel connected to my friends and family, because I can show them and they benefit from that, and I think that’s really important.”
To find out more about the Wellbeing services offered at Pilgrims, visit:
Pilgrims Hospices cares for thousands of local people each year, free of charge, during the most challenging time in their lives. They offer care and support in people’s own homes, in the community and in their inpatient units as well as running a 24-hour advice line.
