The Wooden Box Café, Ramsgate offers grief support to local community
Dawn Baldwin from Ramsgate runs The Wooden Box Café, where she hosts a weekly bereavement support group and various fundraising activities for Pilgrims Hospices.
She supports the local charity in memory of her dad, John Humphrys, who received Pilgrims care in 2022.
John was a family man, doting on Dawn and her sister, Claire, and his six grandchildren. He spent 35 years working as a Technical Administrator at Hornby Hobbies in Margate, and before that he was a disc jockey known as DJ Ferret. He was still working full-time at Hornby Hobbies when he was referred to Pilgrims, aged 71, for symptom control of his cancer.
Dawn said: “Although Dad was only in the hospice for a short time, the care was beautiful. We also said a big thank you to Hornby Hobbies after he passed, as they were so supportive as an employer.”
John with his colleagues at Hornby Hobbies, his daughters Dawn and Claire, and his grandchildren Charlie, Lacey and Lillie
The Wooden Box Café was established in Ramsgate but went up for sale, and Dawn began running it in February 2024: “I’d always wanted to have my own cafe, so when I found out I had some inheritance money, I started looking. A good friend told me about The Wooden Box; I’d not heard of it before, even though Dad had only lived round the corner! I thought, “Well, I’ve got this opportunity because my dad’s in a wooden box.” so I took it; I didn’t find this cafe, it very much came to me.”
Dawn hosts a drop-in bereavement support group on Thursday mornings, offering a safe and compassionate space for members of the local community to come together and support each other following bereavement. Everyone is welcome.
“People just sit, have a coffee and a chat, and help each other. One lady who came in asked me what my yellow rose tattoo means and I said it represents strength for everyone fighting cancer, and also my dad’s resilience. It also features in the signage on the outside of the cafe. She then told me that she’d recently moved to the area with her family and her mum had died the day before. She showed me her mum’s knitted heart from Pilgrims – during the pandemic, Pilgrims gave matching knitted hearts to patients and their families, as a way to remain connected despite social distancing restrictions. I showed her my knitted heart, too, as I carry it with me everywhere. Her dad came in shortly afterwards, and we were able to signpost them to local services to help with things like funeral planning.”
Regular customer, Rita, makes crochet trinkets that are sold to raise money for Pilgrims. Dawn added: “Rita’s daughter received Pilgrims care, so it’s her way of giving back and it’s the reason our Pilgrims collection pots fill up so quickly.”
John
Dawn also displays local artwork, which is available to purchase, and has a small library where customers can borrow books, both in return for a suggested donation to the charity – the bookshelf was even sourced from Pilgrims Tivoli Brooks furniture warehouse. In addition, she plans to hold a weekly book club.
In September 2024, Dawn hosted an open mic event to raise money for Pilgrims, and hopes to put on another in the near future. She is planning much more, too, including a Christmas-themed doggie photo competition, which people can pay £1 to enter to be in with the chance of winning a hamper.
Dawn also attends annual remembrance events at the Thanet hospice: “Trees of Love is the best event of the whole year, and we have a leaf on the Memory Tree for Dad.
“When my dad died, I thought no one would want to listen to me talk about my grief, so I just went straight back to work. I don’t want other people to feel like that – I want to offer this space to others so they know they’re not alone, and support Pilgrims in any way I can.”
The Wooden Box Café is located at 91 High Street, Ramsgate CT11 9RH.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
5th December 2024
Matt finds solace in Pilgrims Hospices bereavement support services
After Matt’s wife, Emily, received Pilgrims Hospices care, he was offered counselling to help him process his experiences.
Matt initially attended the Bereavement Café at the Thanet hospice, an informal support group facilitated by trained volunteers. It provides an opportunity to meet and talk with other bereaved people in a relaxed and welcoming safe space over coffee and a biscuit.
Matt said: “I was anxious at first, but I quickly felt welcome at the Bereavement Café. We were split into small groups with a volunteer, which I found really helpful, as I felt a bit uncertain about sharing my experiences within the larger overall group. The volunteers are great, it’s a relaxed, friendly atmosphere, and it’s nice to have tea and biscuits, too.
Westcliff, Ramsgate walking group
“I haven’t been to the Bereavement Café in a while, but I’m planning to go to the next one. With Emily’s birthday and our wedding anniversary coming up, my grief is heightened, and I’m aware that I might need more support.”
Westcliff, Ramsgate walking route
Whilst at the Bereavement Café, Matt read about the Walk & Talk groups in a Stepping Stones brochure. He now attends the Pegwell Bay and Westcliff, Ramsgate walking groups.
Matt continued: “It’s great that they’re so local to me, as it makes it easier to fit in around work commitments. You don’t need to walk every week – sometimes, I cope better if I’m not thinking about Emily – so it’s useful to be able to dip in and out.
“I love being in nature and amongst the wildlife; the walks are relaxing and give you other things to talk about besides your grief. There is no pressure for time, you just go at your own pace. There’s also a cafe where we sometimes stop for a drink, which is really nice.
“I have reasonable support from family and friends, but they’re also dealing with their own grief, so I don’t want to bring them down all the time. That’s why the Bereavement Café and Walk & Talk groups are so helpful, because they allow you to vocalise your feelings, in a safe space, with others who are experiencing similar emotions.”
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
Finding comfort in connection: Fraser’s journey with Pilgrims’ Stepping Stones Bereavement Support group
Fraser Anthony, a 33-year-old illustrator and punk music enthusiast, never imagined that joining a bereavement support group could bring such profound healing.
Ten years after the sudden loss of his father to pancreatic cancer, Fraser found himself still grappling with the waves of grief. It was during one of those difficult moments that he was introduced to Pilgrims Hospices’ Stepping StonesWalk and Talk group.
After attending the group for around a year, he reflects on how this service has helped him cope with grief and find comfort in shared experiences.
Fraser first learned about the Stepping Stones group through a counsellor. At the time, he wasn’t sure what to expect:
“I’d never really thought about joining a group like this,” he admits. “I was a bit nervous, wondering if it would be a large group where I’d feel out of place.”
Despite his hesitation, he decided to give it a try, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions he’s made.
Grief can be a lonely journey, and even a decade after his father’s passing, Fraser says he still has difficult days when emotions resurface unexpectedly:
“It all comes back, and you feel like you’re right back at that moment,” he explains. But at the Stepping Stones Walk and Talk sessions, Fraser found a safe, supportive environment where he could share, or not share, at his own pace:
“The group is really lovely – everyone is so supportive. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, and there’s no pressure. It’s comforting to know that everyone is there for the same reason.”
The Stepping Stones sessions provide a space where participants can walk through beautiful surroundings, engage in meaningful conversations, and connect with others who understand their grief:
“We’re often so busy talking to each other that we don’t even notice where we’re walking,” Fraser shares with a smile. “It’s such a lovely atmosphere, and I feel safe.”
As the youngest member of the group, Fraser initially thought he might feel out of place. However, he quickly found that the mix of ages didn’t matter:
“There’s such a variety of people, but that doesn’t even cross my mind anymore,” he says. “It’s not about age – it’s about the shared experience of loss. I’ve met some incredible people, and while we may not have deep personal connections, there’s an ease in how we gel as a group. We talk, reflect, and support each other.”
For Fraser, the Stepping Stones group has become a vital part of managing his grief:
“It’s like therapy without being therapy,” he says. “The volunteers are wonderful, and I’ve learned new coping mechanisms that help me on the tough days.” Fraser especially values the chance to support new members of the group, helping them feel less alone as they navigate their own journeys.
As National Grief Awareness Week approaches, Fraser is passionate about spreading the message of how important it is to seek support, no matter how long it’s been since a loss:
“People sometimes think you should be ‘over it’ after a certain time, but that’s not how grief works. Whether it’s been a year, five years, or ten, there are always going to be good and bad days. The Stepping Stones group has given me a place where I don’t have to explain that – everyone already understands.”
Fraser’s experience with the Stepping Stones Walk and Talk group highlights the importance of community in coping with grief:
“I can’t thank the group enough – it’s been amazing,” he says.
As he prepares to move to Nottingham in 2025, Fraser is comforted by the thought that, no matter where he goes, the lessons and connections he’s gained through the group will stay with him.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
4th December 2024
Kevin and Dympna’s story: “There has to be hope”
Kevin Carlton and Dympna Goldsack from Canterbury first met at a Pilgrims Hospices bereavement support group. Their spouses, Gill and Colin, each received Pilgrims care and died within days of each other in December 2018.
Their story shows that life continues after bereavement and throughout grief, and how hospice care supports loved ones into the future.
Kevin’s wife, Gill, received Pilgrims care and died at home, aged 62. They met as teenagers in 1972, were married for 42 years, and had three daughters: Emma, Jennifer and Laura.
Dympna’s husband, Colin Goldsack, died at the Canterbury hospice, aged 70.
Gill and Kevin
Kevin and Dympna met after being invited by Pilgrims to attend a bereavement support group. Both were reluctant to attend, but encouraged by family, they decided to give it a try. After completing the sessions, they kept in touch so that they could continue to support each other. Some months later, Kevin invited Dympna to lunch as a friend.
Dympna added: “Initially, I was hesitant and turned Kevin down. It felt too early to be socialising with another man. But I thought about it some more and changed my mind, and we started meeting for lunch once a week.”
They began spending more time together, and when COVID hit, Kevin’s daughters suggested that they form a support bubble to avoid isolation. This meant that, although living separately, they could continue to see each other as if they were members of the same household. After navigating the pandemic, there was no looking back, and they continue to live happily together.
Colin and Dympna
Kevin also plays Pilgrims Hospices Lottery and the couple support Pilgrims through various events, including Sunflower Memories, where they each dedicate special sunflower markers to Gill and Colin. They praise Pilgrims highly for the care they received throughout their hospice and bereavement journeys.
Kevin said: “I thought a hospice was where you go to die, but it’s so much more than that. Pilgrims were as much interested in me as they were in Gill. I remember one hospice doctor who made a special trip to see Gill at home during their already busy day. That extra level of care is very special.
“When the time came, Gill was able to die at home with our family beside her. I held her hand, told her I love her, she smiled at me and took her last breath. Pilgrims were with us every step of the way, ensuring that everything was our decision.”
Dympna said: “Colin was frightened of the hospice when it was first mentioned, but Pilgrims doctors put his mind at rest about the end of life, and that made it much easier to have acceptance. The care was marvelous, just brilliant. Pilgrims is always in your corner.”
The couple added: “We have Pilgrims to thank for us getting together. You can’t see it at first, but there has to be hope; that’s why we started going to the counselling groups. Now we have a future. It will be lovely if our story can help others who are worried it’s going to be the end of world – you come pretty close, but there is hope.”
Sophie Van Walwyk, Head of Bereavement Services at Pilgrims, said:
“As National Grief Awareness Week draws to a close, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who participated in our events and engaged with the resources we shared. This week has been a powerful reminder of the importance of understanding, supporting, and normalising the grief experience within our community.
“From our insightful introduction to healthy grief to the inspiring stories shared by those who have benefited from our Stepping Stones bereavement services, we have explored the many facets of grief together. We’ve highlighted the vital role our volunteers play in supporting others and showcased community initiatives, like the Wooden Box Cafe, that foster connection and healing right at the heart of our communities.
“The interviews with individuals who have navigated their own grief journeys remind us that while loss is deeply personal, we are never truly alone. The bonds formed through shared experiences can bring light to even the darkest of times.
“I encourage everyone to take what they’ve learned this week into their own lives and communities. Whether through our grief awareness training programs, or simply by offering a compassionate listening ear to someone in need, each of us can make a difference.
“Thank you for joining us on this journey. Let us continue to support one another, advocate for awareness, and ensure that grief is understood and normalised. Together, we can build a compassionate community where healing is possible.”
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
Stepping Stones of compassion: Maria’s journey from grief to giving back
For Maria, joining Pilgrims’ Stepping Stones bereavement services was not just a chance to help, but a deeply personal calling. After the death of her husband, Pilgrims Hospices provided Maria with solace during one of her darkest times. Today, she devotes her time to others on a similar path, facilitating the monthly Bereavement Café and weekly Walk and Talk groups.
Maria’s background in tutoring and patient support had already taught her the power of group support, and her experience with Pilgrims added another layer of understanding. Her journey started as a participant in the Bereavement Café, where she found immediate comfort among volunteers and attendees bound by a shared experience. Surrounded by people who truly understood her grief, Maria felt reassured that her feelings were part of a larger, collective journey.
During her healing process, Maria also sought time outdoors, even traveling to Scotland for a nature-focused bereavement group. Being surrounded by nature’s rhythms brought her a sense of calm and she found essential to her own healing; a concept incorporated into the weekly Walk and Talk group. In these sessions, participants walk side by side, finding peace and connection in the natural surroundings. Maria treasures the 40 minutes they share, spotting wildlife, walking through the changing seasons, and allowing conversations to flow naturally. Afterwards, the group often continues over coffee, sharing stories, laughter, and the beginning of new friendships.
Today, Maria listens with an open heart to those navigating grief, providing the same steady support she once received. She knows how isolating grief can feel, and for many, the group offers a space where they feel comfortable discussing their emotions in a way that might be difficult with family or friends. Maria feels privileged to witness people’s progress, from small victories to blossoming friendships, each a testament to the strength of shared compassion.
Reflecting on her journey with Stepping Stones, Maria describes it as “humbling and profoundly rewarding.” She believes that while there’s no magic fix for grief, the kinship and understanding these groups provide can be life-changing. Having once been carried by this support herself, Maria now finds joy in being a part of someone else’s journey. In her words, “It’s wonderful to be here for others and to help foster the sense of healing and hope that Stepping Stones brings.”
Maria’s journey serves as a reminder that even in times of profound loss, connection and community can guide the path to healing.
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
3rd December 2024
A tribute to Pilgrims Hospices Stepping Stones bereavement services and our vital bereavement support volunteers
From 2-8 December 2024, Pilgrims Hospices is joining communities across the country in observing National Grief Awareness Week, a time dedicated to fostering understanding, raising awareness, and providing support to those navigating the often challenging path of grief.
At Pilgrims Hospices, we take pride in our tireless efforts to offer compassionate care not just to our patients, but also to their loved ones, through the ongoing support of Stepping Stones bereavement services. This week provides us with the opportunity to celebrate the achievements of our team, particularly the incredible contribution of our volunteers, who are at the heart of Stepping Stones.
Stepping Stones: Your first steps to bereavement support
Pilgrims Hospices understands that grief is a deeply personal journey, one that doesn’t follow a set timetable or process. Our Stepping Stones bereavement services were created to provide a safe and supportive environment for people to come together, to express their feelings, share their experiences, and begin to learn to cope with their grief. The services are open to anyone who has experienced loss, whether they have been directly supported by Pilgrims Hospices or are members of the east Kent community.
Stepping Stones offers group support, where people can explore their grief with the help of compassionate and trained volunteers. These sessions provide a space for reflection, connection, and the beginning of healing – an opportunity to step from isolation into a supportive community where no one has to navigate their grief alone.
Volunteers: The heart of Stepping Stones
At the core of the Stepping Stones bereavement services is a dedicated team of volunteers whose compassion, empathy, and commitment bring the programme to life. These individuals offer their time, skills, and hearts to guide people through one of life’s most difficult experiences. The Stepping Stones project is volunteer-led, meaning that it simply could not exist without the selflessness of those who give up their time to help others.
Volunteering with Pilgrims Hospices is a chance to make a genuine difference in the lives of others, but it’s also an opportunity for personal growth. Many of our volunteers have expressed how their involvement has broadened their own horizons, providing them with a deeper understanding of human resilience, a stronger sense of community, and a profound sense of fulfilment.
The rewards of volunteering
For those considering becoming a volunteer, the rewards extend far beyond the act of giving. As part of Stepping Stones, volunteers gain valuable life skills, such as active listening, empathy, and the ability to support someone through their emotional challenges. These are skills that enrich personal relationships and improve overall wellbeing.
Volunteers also become part of a close-knit community at Pilgrims Hospices, where they can meet like-minded people who share a passion for supporting others. Many find that volunteering helps them forge new friendships, deepen their understanding of grief and bereavement, and discover a renewed sense of purpose.
Broadening horizons through service
Volunteering with Stepping Stones not only transforms the lives of those in need, but also allows volunteers to explore new facets of their own personalities and abilities. It’s a chance to step outside of one’s own experiences and see the world through the eyes of others, which can be an incredibly enriching and eye-opening experience.
By giving back to the community, volunteers contribute to a greater cause, helping to build a culture where grief is understood, accepted, and supported. Volunteering offers a unique sense of accomplishment as they witness the positive impact they have on the lives of others, providing hope and comfort when it is needed most.
Join us in supporting grief awareness
National Grief Awareness Week is an important reminder that grief is a universal experience, one that deserves attention and support. At Pilgrims Hospices, we are proud to offer services like Stepping Stones that help people navigate their grief and rebuild their lives.
If you’re interested in joining our incredible team of volunteers, we welcome you with open arms.
Whether you’re driven by compassion or simply want to make a positive impact in your community, we believe that everyone has something valuable to contribute.
This National Grief Awareness Week, let’s celebrate not only those who are finding ways to embrace their grief, but also the volunteers who make this journey possible. Together, we can continue to create a space of comfort, understanding, and healing for all.
Become a volunteer today!
To learn more about volunteering opportunities with Pilgrims Hospices’ Stepping Stones bereavement support, visit our website:
National Grief Awareness Week takes place 2-8 December 2024. It raises awareness of the impact of grief and loss on a national platform. To find out more, visit thegoodgrieftrust.org/ngaw.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
