Norman and Christine’s story: “Pilgrims is always there if you need them”
Norman Sole from Walmer experienced Pilgrims Hospices’ care when his wife, Christine, was cared for by the charity.
Inspired by the kindness they were shown by Pilgrims, Norman and his family wanted to give back so that others can benefit from the same compassionate care.
Their story shows how Pilgrims continue to look after families into bereavement, often playing a very special role in their lives as they navigate their grief.
Norman and Christine were married for 57 years and had two children, Mike and Jeannie. Christine worked as a telephonist before marrying Norman. They had a plant nursery until they retired; Christine picked tomatoes in the large greenhouses. She loved gardening, knitting, her pet cats, and line dancing.
Christine Sole With Her Daughter Jeanette 1
Norman And Christine Sole 4
Christine Sole 4
Christine Sole With Son Mike 1
Norman And Christine Sole 5
Norman And Christine Sole 2
Christine Sole 8
Norman And Christine Sole 7
Norman And Christine Sole 1
Christine Sole 3
Later in life, Christine was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer; initially cured by chemotherapy, it sadly returned and became terminal. Whilst in hospital, a doctor asked Christine if she wanted to be referred to the hospice.
Mike and Jeannie said:
“Mum was hospitalised, with the aim being to fit a stent in her throat. She went in expecting to come home. Unfortunately, the procedure didn’t work, so palliative care became the only option. She went downhill very quickly.
“They moved Mum to a private room, and the next day someone from the palliative care team came and asked if she’d like to go into the hospice. We all agreed that this would be for the best.”
Christine
Christine spent five days in the Thanet hospice; she died on 6 August 2023, aged 81.
Norman said:
“A friend had been in the Canterbury hospice several years prior, and I’d visited them there, but that had been my only experience until Christine was referred.
“The hospital was very noisy, people come and go all the time; Christine kept saying, “I wish it was quieter in here.” In hospital, we were always doing things for her because the staff were so busy, they didn’t have time, so we were trying to think about what she wanted.
“Once we went into the hospice, it was instantly calm, a completely different atmosphere. It was like someone had taken the responsibility of care from us, so that we could look after ourselves and be a family. We didn’t expect anything, but the hospice team anticipated our needs, and made us feel part of the wider Pilgrims family.”
Jeannie agreed: “Pilgrims caters incredibly well for families. It was my birthday whilst Mum was in the hospice; she mentioned it to the hospice staff, and they brought me a cake with a candle, and a birthday card! It’s those little things that really make a big difference.
Christine with one of her beloved cats
“I also felt much calmer in the hospice. As a family, we wouldn’t all usually spend a week together like that; it sounds weird, but after Mum died, I missed us having lunch together every day, walking around the gardens, getting a coffee. We never felt like we shouldn’t be there, like we were in the way, or that we should leave if we’d been there all day. I missed that when it was over, it was a very special time.
“It’s one of those things you hope you never have to go through, but it couldn’t have been a better experience.”
Mike added:
“All the staff were lovely. We felt the nursing staff really cared, and that Mum wasn’t just another patient. The focus in the hospice is different; when Mum was in hospital, they were trying to make her better. But once we knew she was at the end of life, and we’d had a few days to adjust, our mindset shifted – it became about keeping Mum comfortable for the time she had left.”
To say thank you for the care they received, Norman and his family now support Pilgrims in many ways, including taking part in annual remembrance events like Sunflower Memories and Trees of Love. Mike also completed the Folkestone Downs Challenge with his daughter, Eleanor, and his wife, Helen, volunteers at the Canterbury hospice with patients who attend wellbeing groups.
Most recently, Norman decided to grow sunflowers in his garden after attending Sunflower Memories. He entered Walmer in Bloom for the first time in 2025, and his sunflowers won first prize in the Best Garden Display category.
Norman with his children, Mike and Jeannie, and his award-winning sunflowersNorman at the Walmer in Bloom award ceremony
Norman received the letter telling him he’d won on 6 August 2025, the two-year anniversary of Christine’s death:
“It made a very sad day a little bit happier. I got into growing sunflowers after we attended the Sunflower Memories event to celebrate Christine’s life, so winning the Walmer in Bloom award was extra special.”
Norman attended an award presentation at Walmer Castle, where he received a certificate, and he donated his prize money to Pilgrims.
Mike added:
“Pilgrims support families even after their loved one has died, which is really positive. It’s so nice that they’ve kept in touch with Dad; he enjoys keeping up to date with hospice news and events. The little things we’re able to do, like supporting the remembrance events in memory of Mum, allows us to give back, so that other people can benefit like we did.”
Norman agreed:
“Pilgrims don’t just fade away, they’re always there if you need them.”
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices care for thousands of people across east Kent, with services provided from its three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury, and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. It costs over £17.2 million annually to run these services, much of which comes from the generous support of the local community.
20th May 2024
Celebrate loved ones at Pilgrims’ Sunflower Memories Appeal 2024
The Sunflower Memories appeal returns to Pilgrims Hospices gardens in Canterbury, Thanet, and Ashford on Saturday, 20 July, 2024.
For over 10 years, the hospice gardens have welcomed members of the local community to come together and celebrate their most treasured memories of loved ones in the sunshine. The cherished appeal has been beloved by longstanding, and new supporters alike, raising over £400,000 since its inception.
Everyone is welcome to dedicate a sunflower in memory of a special person, in exchange for a donation to ensure that Pilgrims Hospices can continue to deliver outstanding end-of-life care to the local community. The sunflowers represent a heartfelt tribute to those who are no longer with us but whose memories continue to shine brightly. The dedicated sunflowers form a striking display and decorate the gardens, ready to welcome supporters into the hospice grounds for the Sunflower Days: garden tea parties with live music and light refreshments, offering time, space, and comfort to reflect on the lives of those remembered.
Once again, Sunflower Memories is delighted to welcome Pilgrims’ Wellbeing team to the Sunflower Days. As the hands and minds behind the Time to Create sessions, offered as part of the Wellbeing programme, they know how important expressing creativity can be for the body and mind. Attendees will have the chance to discover their inner artist at an arts and crafts station, available for all ages and abilities to enjoy.
Ellie Cane, Individual Giving Manager, said, “Sunflower Memories has continued to grow from strength to strength and provides the perfect opportunity for our supporters to remember their loved ones in the beauty of the hospice gardens, all while supporting local families who need end-of-life care, both inside and outside the hospice walls. It continues to be a special event in the Pilgrims calendar as families come together and share the day with those who may be going through similar experiences. We are very excited that our community has the opportunity to be united in their creativity as they gain first-hand experience of the kind of support we offer to patients and their loved ones through a Time to Create taster session.”
Pilgrims’ Supporter Relations team will write the names of those to be remembered onto vibrant sunflower markers, which will join the beautiful display in the hospice gardens. Supporters are welcome to collect their sunflowers to keep at home as a treasured keepsake from the day or allow them to remain in the gardens where they will shine brightly until 9 August. Afterward, the memory markers can be collected from the hospice reception.
The Sunflower Days will be taking place in the hospice gardens of Canterbury, Thanet, and Ashford on Saturday, 20 July, between 1 pm and 4 pm. Pilgrims staff and volunteers will be ready and waiting to welcome visitors, help them find their dedicated sunflower, and share in their treasured memories in the sunshine.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
13th May 2024
Remembering Tony: A lifetime of love, laughter, and sunflowers.
An adoring father and grandfather, my husband Tony was such a wonderful man. We met just a few days after my 18th birthday and had the typical meeting outside of the school gates. From daydreaming and scribbling ‘Tony 4 Me’ and ‘I heart Tony’ all over my school books, we would then go on to spend a very happy 50 years together. Although I best believe that our wedding had to be arranged around the fishing season with Tony being such a mad fisherman.
Tony’s illness was such an overwhelming and difficult time, but he fought it with such positivity, humour and determination. In the beginning, he did not want to entertain the idea of a hospice, but gradually he accepted the support that the hospice could give us both on his journey. Following an initial tour, his fears were allayed and he was comfortable attending either on his own or together. He took part in a couple of trials and it became the norm for us to discuss what would otherwise be a difficult topic. He fought to the very end though and because of the fantastic support, was able to stay at home until the last two days of his life. The nurses helped tremendously in making such a sad situation feel so normal and peaceful. The experience of his death was a beautiful one, where the love in his eyes shone through in his last minutes. It’s something I’ll never forget.
Roman – Laura’s grandson
Our obsession with sunflowers had always been a family joke. We both loved them, and Tony as a keen gardener, grew them in our garden and his allotment. We’d compete to see who could grow them the highest, and sometimes they were bigger than him! I have a total obsession with sunflowers, have ornaments, and even wore sunflower perfume. On any special occasion, we loved to give them out to our family and friends, as well as receive them. At his funeral, I laid a beautiful arrangement of sunflowers on his coffin.
When I found out about the Sunflower Days, I couldn’t think of anything more fitting. I attended with my grandson, Roman, who had lived with us since he was three and adored his Gramps, and the day brought so much happiness. A friend met us and took Roman to go and see his Gramps’ dedicated sunflower. It was a really emotional moment when he found Gramps’ special flower, we both cried, but they were happy tears. The gardens looked beautiful and it was a day of joy and happy memories.
However much I miss him, and always will, Tony’s passing was something I was so frightened of. But somehow, in the hospice, everything was so peaceful, and the staff were so kind and understanding. I will always be grateful. I hope to take part in Sunflower Memories, and attend the Sunflower Days for many years to come.
Join us this July to dedicate a sunflower in a loved one’s memory, and celebrate their life in the hospice gardens at our Sunflower Days.
This year, our Sunflower Days will take place on Saturday, July 20, from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. in our hospice gardens. We invite you to share your memories, collect your sunflower marker, and celebrate the life of your loved one, all while supporting the outstanding care Pilgrims delivers to local families, inside and outside the hospice walls.
More information on how to dedicate a sunflower can be found here.
Pilgrims Hospices is a registered charity providing specialist palliative care to individuals with life-limiting illnesses across East Kent. With a dedicated team of staff and volunteers, Pilgrims Hospices is committed to delivering compassionate care and support to patients and their families, ensuring dignity, comfort, and quality of life.
9th April 2024
Finding joy in memories: Sarah reflects on celebrating her dad’s life at Sunflower Memories
Sarah shares why celebrating the life of her dad, Anthony, at Sunflower Memories, is so important to her and her family.
My Dad was a total one-off. He had the most amazing sense of humour, loved to be the centre of attention, and was ridiculous, in the best way! With my brother and two sisters, we were all so close, but he and I in particular were such kindred spirits.
He loved jazz and rock and roll music, and when the time came, he decided on the music for his own funeral. In true Dad style, he chose Jerry Lee Lewis’s Great Balls of Fire to be played on the day! As I was putting his eulogy together and talking to all of the people in his life, there was one commonality between all of their memories: laughter.
I find such comfort in coming back to the hospice to remember him, and these events are such a wonderful opportunity and excuse to do so.
Sarah
Dad had his blood cancer diagnosis in 2014, and beat the odds of his prognosis. It wasn’t until he suffered a stroke in March of 2022 that he started to deteriorate. The cruellest part was that the stroke took his voice, and for a man with such a vivacious character, it was so upsetting.
Sarah’s dad, Anthony
While Dad only spent 36 hours in the hospice, Pilgrims Wellbeing services were offered to him beforehand, although he was hesitant to utilise them. In the end, he knew that the Canterbury hospice was the place he wanted to be. Ultimately, it was his life, his death, and his choice, right to the very end.
As soon as we arrived at the hospice, we were greeted by a doctor and nurses, who were amazing. They immediately sprang into action and got his pain and anxieties under control. They created such an honest, open, and safe environment in which Dad and all of the family were so supported. We were so scared and unsure of what to expect, but the Pilgrims nurses stayed by our side throughout, providing such a steady and reassuring presence.
Two years later, and I still find it hard to believe that he isn’t here with us. Along with my siblings, I remember my dad at both Trees of Love and Sunflower Memories. I find such comfort in coming back to the hospice to remember him, and these events are such a wonderful opportunity and excuse to do so. I want to keep celebrating him and see his name written somewhere. Knowing Dad, he would want to be flashed everywhere!
Sunflower Days take place on Saturday 20 July 2024, 1pm–4pm in Pilgrims Hospices gardens in Canterbury, Thanet, and Ashford.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
4th July 2023
Sunflower Memories appeal to bloom again in hospice gardens
Pilgrims Hospices launch Sunflower Memories Appeal 2023, supporters are welcome to attend the remembrance events on 22 July, to celebrate the lives of loved ones and relive memories, with music and refreshments in the hospice gardens at Canterbury, Ashford and Thanet.
The leading provider of end-of-life care services in east Kent, is delighted to announce the appeal has now reached its 10th year of raising funds and awareness; it serves as a poignant tribute to cherished memories, while celebrating the spirit of compassion and care.
Pilgrims Hospices Nurse, Simone with Sunflower art
Each year the hospices offer individuals and communities an opportunity to visit the hospice gardens; to come together, and remember their loved ones, while making a positive difference in the lives of others. This year’s appeal is set to be even more remarkable, as the appeal donations over the past 10 years will reach in excess of £380,000, providing exceptional end-of-life care for thousands of people in the local community. All are welcome to donate to dedicate a sunflower in memory of a cherished person. Each sunflower represents a heartfelt tribute to those who are no longer with us, but whose memories continue to shine brightly. Each participant will have a sunflower marker dedicated and personalised, symbolising their support for Pilgrims Hospices and the meaningful impact they are making.
The hospices’ Supporter Relations team will transcribe the names of those to be remembered, on to each sunflower, thereafter they will be prominently displayed in the hospice garden of choice, creating a vibrant display for people to visit on the Sunflower days. The Sunflowers will remain in the gardens through to the end of August, or can be collected on the days as a keepsake.
To take part in Sunflower Memories this year, simply call Pilgrims Supporter Relations team on 01227 782066 and let them know you would like to remember with a sunflower. By making a donation for your sunflower you will be helping others who need our care and their families.
Ellie Cane, Pilgrims Individual Giving Manager said: “This appeal provides a special opportunity for people to honour and remember their loved ones, while helping Pilgrims continue to deliver outstanding care for patients and their families.
This beautiful event allows us to spend time with supporters, old and new, sharing news on Pilgrims Hospices care and services, as we move forward, continue to expand, and improve our facilities to help even more people.”
This year these very special days will take place on Saturday 22 July from 10am – 2pm; Pilgrims staff and volunteers will welcome visitors to share memories, and celebrate in the sunshine. To help celebrate this special 10 years of Sunflower Memoires, the Wellbeing Team will be attending, displaying some of the beautiful sunflower themed artwork created by patients in the Therapy Centres.
Billy Williams, Wellbeing Lead, said: “When patients attend groups such as ‘Time to Create’, they can relax in a friendly supportive environment, talk to like-mined people openly, and discuss the concerns freely. Trying something new or rekindling some skills that have been forgotten can be excellent therapy, we know this, the chatter and laughter that can be heard at the groups is fantastic, and we encourage staff from all areas of the charity to come and get involved, chat with our patients, and enjoy doing something creative.
Wellbeing Sunflowers 7
Wellbeing Sunflowers 6
Wellbeing Sunflowers 4
Wellbeing Sunflower 12
“Some of our ‘Time to Create’ patients have also been growing Sunflowers from seed, that will form part of the displays for everyone to enjoy on the day.
Pilgrims rely heavily on the generosity of their supporters to continue delivering exceptional care to patients, and their families. Your donations will directly impact lives, ensuring they can provide comfort, dignity, and support when it is needed most.
To find out more or get involved, visit pilgrimshospices.org/sunflowers, e-mail: [email protected], or call our friendly Supporter Relations team on 01227 782 062
Pilgrims Hospices is a leading charity dedicated to providing outstanding end-of-life care, and support to individuals with life-limiting illnesses. With a team of compassionate professionals, Pilgrims ensures that patients and their families receive exceptional physical, emotional, and spiritual care, throughout their journey. Funds raised through the Sunflower Memories Appeal will directly support the wide range of services offered by the charity, including specialised nursing care, emotional support, and practical assistance. These vital resources enable patients to live their lives to the fullest, surrounded by love, dignity, and compassion, until the end.
With your support, we can make a lasting difference in the lives of those facing life-limiting illnesses and their families.
28th March 2023
Sunflower Memories: David’s story
In 2023, Pilgrims Hospices celebrates 10 years of Sunflower Memories, its annual summer remembrance campaign. People across east Kent will come together at the hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet on Saturday 22 July to remember loved ones with special sunflower memory markers.
David remembers his wife, Sue, who worked for Pilgrims before receiving our care.
My wife Sue was the most amazing, caring and loving lady that I had the privilege to have been allowed to marry, love and share life with for the last 46 amazing years. Sue was very loved by all those who knew her. Not just friends but also she had a deep love for all our nieces and nephews who loved her back.
Sue was a legal secretary for some 27 years, working at many local firms before deciding that the care and nursing profession was her destiny. After working for the East Kent Hospitals Trust, she worked in end-of-life care in our community, before joining the Pilgrims Hospices team at Ashford. They were the best years in her life, during which she made many good friends among her patients.
Sue on the front cover of Pilgrims Matters 2013
Antiques was Sue’s passion, we could sit fifty people down for tea and each person would have a different cup and saucer! She was a very talented lady who could turn her hand to many things from dressmaking, to tending her beloved garden, water colour painting and making many wedding cakes. Sue was a prominent member of our community, involved in everything from fundraising activities, helping lead her local WI group, to helping administer COVID jabs during the pandemic.
Despite her illness, Sue always remained positive and upbeat and never complained, even though I knew she was in pain. I was so lucky to be home and right at her side at the end of her fight. She was my strength, my endurance, my friend and my love.
Sunflower Memories gives me time to reflect and remember Sue at a place she loved so very much while supporting the incredible work carried out at Pilgrims Hospices. Pilgrims meant so much to Sue and that is why I continue to support whenever I can.
Sunflower Days will take place on Saturday 22 July 2023, 10am-2pm, at our Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet hospices, where we welcome you to share your memories with us and each other, and celebrate in the sunshine.
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to thousands of people in east Kent coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity supports patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress. Care is provided from three hospice sites in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, as well as in patients’ own homes. To offer these services to patients and their families the charity must raise £11 million each year from the generous local community.
