This year, Pilgrims Hospices welcomed over 1,200 people to their Trees of Love remembrance services, held throughout December 2021, at the hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, and at indoor venues in New Romney, River, Cheriton, Charing and Barham.
Those remembering lost loved ones this Christmas dedicated doves to hang on the trees at each venue, or at home, to be illuminated throughout the festive season. All were then invited to join together to share their memories at the event or service of their choosing, where they enjoyed carol singing and warm mince pies.
This year also marks an incredible achievement for east Kent’s largest remembrance services, as Ellie Cane, Individual Giving Officer, explains:
“This very important remembrance service has been running for more than 20 years, and in that time we are pleased to say that we have just reached the milestone of raising over £1 million for the hospices! We’d like to thank all those who’ve supported this appeal over the years, and also to our incredible volunteers who help us make it happen each and every year.”
Pilgrims partnered once again this year with Firmager Funeral Directors, All Souls Church and School, St Peter and St Paul Church, and the Westerleigh Group to put on these very special events, allowing more people in east Kent who have lost loved ones to attend.
Ellie added: “The response to the appeal has been incredible, and we want to say a huge thank you to everyone that has dedicated a dove so far this year, and on previous years. Your support has meant we can continue to be still here, still caring even during difficult times.”
Pilgrims will continue to take donations for dedicated doves across the festive season. Contact their Supporter Relations Team on 01227 782 062 or visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove to donate and dedicate a dove.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
25th November 2021
Trees of Love: Ayo’s story
Ayo Adebiyi supports Trees of Love in memory of her mother, Patricia.
Here, she remembers her first experience of Trees of Love and shares why she’s looking forward to dedicating a dove again this year.
My mother, Patricia McGettigan Adebiyi, was a loving, bright and modest person. She never appreciated how amazing she was, and our family miss her so much.
In 2019, following a late cancer diagnosis, my mum spent her last five days in the Thanet hospice. After five weeks in hospital she was moved there so she could be more comfortable. I was able to stay with her for the whole five days, which I am so grateful for.
I first learned about the Trees of Love remembrance on the first day my mother spent in the hospice at Thanet. I remember looking out into the gardens, through the window of my mother’s room, and seeing all the people gathered for the service. I was incredibly moved by it, and it was an atmosphere I remembered when my invite came through the following year.
Ayo with her mother, Patricia
Trees of Love was very different in 2020, with a remembrance film to watch, and my mother’s dove sent home to me. I am so grateful that I was still able to celebrate my mother’s life, by hanging her dove on my tree at home, and sending in some photos to be part of the film, which I enjoyed very much.
I will be dedicating a dove to my mother again this year, and getting my first chance to return to the last place I was with my mum, and be part of the service I found so touching. My experience of the hospice when my mum stayed there was so good, and our family is very grateful for the care and support we had, so it will be really special to go back.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
17th November 2021
Trees of Love: Sue’s story
Sue Duncan supports Trees of Love in memory of her sister, Jeannie, and their mother, Anne.
Here, she explains how Pilgrims Hospices helped the whole family and why she chooses to remember Jeannie and Anne in this way.
My sister, Jeannie, was referred to Pilgrims after a late stage lung cancer diagnosis, where she was given the best care and support through the Therapy Centres, in the hospice and at home.
Jeannie was a talented water colourist, and the arts sessions in the Therapy Centre really allowed her to continue exploring her creativity, and pursue her love of painting. She made good friends there, and it really helped take her mind off her illness.
As a carer to Jeannie, I received a great deal of support – at Pilgrims I was seen as a person too, who was watching her younger sister reach the end of her life. I’ve never forgotten the kindness I was treated with, in what was a very upsetting situation.
Shortly after Jeannie died, it became clear that our mother was really struggling with the loss her youngest daughter. She had felt helpless since Jeannie’s diagnosis, as her own disabilities meant she was unable to provide much practical help. Then when Jeannie died, she felt she should protect her family from the grief she didn’t know how to deal with. Pilgrims were wonderful, providing a counsellor with whom she could speak about Jeannie and her memories. It was a great help for my mother to have somebody who was kind and caring to connect with.
As a carer to Jeannie, I received a great deal of support – at Pilgrims I was seen as a person too, who was watching her younger sister reach the end of her life. I’ve never forgotten the kindness I was treated with, in what was a very upsetting situation.
Sue
Later in 2017, I was contacted by the hospice about the Trees of Love remembrance, and it just seemed a lovely thing to do. I told my mum I was doing it, and together we wrote a message on Jeannie’s dove. It was a way to symbolise our remembrance, and I’ve taken part every year since.
My mother died the following year, so now I remember them both with a dove. I thought the film in 2020 was a lovely thing to do, I watched it two or three times all the way through. Not only could I see my mum and sister remembered, but I also felt a togetherness with the other families remembering their loved ones. We were all going through the same thing.
I look forward to taking part again this year, and hopefully, coming to the service at the Canterbury hospice to experience that feeling of togetherness again, in person.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
16th November 2021
Trees of Love: The Buckler family’s story
The Buckler family support Trees of Love in memory of David Buckler; a much-loved husband, son, father and grandad.
Here, they explain how Pilgrims Hospices helps them to come together with others, share memories and help local hospice services continue to be available for families in the future.
David Buckler was the rock of our family, he had a heart of gold and was a devoted husband to Jilly and an amazing son, dad and grandad. He has left a huge hole in our lives that can never be filled and we miss him dearly.
Dad had a love of motorsport and fast cars. He enjoyed a pint and a game of darts with his son and holidays in Rye with our mum.
In February 2019, Dad was given such devastating news that he had terminal pancreatic cancer; as the weeks went on, the cancer took hold.
Our dad was such a strong and proud man. He was brave and courageous to the end and the only tears he shed were concern for his family.
The day Dad went into Pilgrims Hospice Ashford is one we will never forget. Walking into the hospice, the way all the staff made us feel and the support and care they gave him and all of us was indescribable. Dad even asked how much this was costing, so that to us spoke volumes.
When Dad sadly passed away the next morning, all the staff there really showed empathy and compassion towards us and that meant the world to us during such a devastating time.
Trees of Love is so important to us as a family as the remembrance service gives us time to reflect and remember our dad at this time of year as he loved Christmas. It enables us to join together with other families in similar situations, and gives us the chance to support the hospice by way of a donation so they can give their love and vital, much needed support and devotion to other families the way they did for us.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
10th November 2021
Trees of Love returns to light up east Kent
This year, local charity Pilgrims Hospices sees the return of the Trees of Love remembrance events at its three hospices and at alternative venues across east Kent.
The largest festive remembrance to take place in east Kent has been running for over 20 years, and raised over £970,000 for the charity to date.
Ellie Cane, who is part of the team behind Trees of Love, said:
“We are so amazed at the amount our local community has raised by taking part in Trees of Love for all these years, and this year we’re really hoping that with their help we can reach £1 million. This would be such an incredible achievement, and I would like to take this chance to say a huge thank you in advance to all those who will be joining us for the remembrance this December.”
The remembrance will begin with the release of a filmed service on the Pilgrims Hospices’ YouTube channel and website on Saturday 4 December at 12pm. This replaces the usual live service performed at the three hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet. Guests are then invited to drop in to the hospices between 4pm and 6pm on the same day to find their dedicated dove, whilst enjoying carol singing and warm mince pies.
Ellie continued:
“On behalf of everyone at Pilgrims, I would like to encourage anyone who has lost someone to join with us to remember by dedicating a beautiful dove in memory of their loved ones. To take part, contact our Supporter Relations team, and we will send a dove out to you to decorate with your personal message. We will place your beautiful dove on the trees at your chosen site, to remain illuminated throughout the festive season.”
Pilgrims Hospices’ Trees of Love remembrances will be held in the gardens of each hospice at Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet on Saturday 4 December 2021, between 4pm and 6pm. Pilgrims also host alternative services at other venues in Barham, Charing, Cheriton, Dover and New Romney.
If you would like to take part to join with others to remember your loved ones and mark this special occasion, or for more information, contact Pilgrims’ Supporter Relations team on 01227 782 062 or email [email protected].
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
5th November 2021
Trees of Love: Penny’s story
Penny Uhlendorf supports Trees of Love in memory of her parents, Dick and Ethné.
Here, she explains how Pilgrims Hospices helps her family to remember and give back.
My three sisters, Mary, Susie and Carol, my brother Andrew and I grew up near Canterbury with our parents, Dick and Ethné Thrush. Our father worked in Canterbury, and our mother was a homemaker: raising the five of us, breeding various dogs, tending chickens, and growing the most beautiful vegetable and flower gardens. Most of us have moved away, but two of my siblings still live in Kent, helping us keep our strong connection to the area.
Dick and Ethné
Despite our geographical distances, we all remained very close with our parents over the years. Our father died in June 2008, just a few weeks after celebrating our mother’s 90th birthday together. She then moved from their Canterbury flat to Littlebourne House, bravely soldiering on without her beloved husband of 69 years. When her health declined to the point where she needed hospitalisation, she was transferred to Pilgrims Hospices in June 2009, where she was given the very best of care.
From the skilled and compassionate staff, to the comfort-filled rooms, with handmade quilts on each bed; to the caring, thoughtful volunteers, my siblings and I could not have asked for a more peaceful and perfect place for our mother to spend her final ten days. On 30th June 2009, our mother joined our father exactly one year to the day that he passed, just as she had hoped and planned.
Trees of Love is one of several ways at Pilgrims Hospices in which I can tangibly memorialise my parents while supporting such a vital institution. Last year, it was very special to be able to participate in the Trees of Love online event by sharing a photo of our parents, and watching the video. I live in the United States, so although I took part remotely, participating in the Trees of Love and Sunflower Memories remembrances in memory of both of our parents is so important to me, and I greatly appreciate the opportunity to support such a very worthy cause. My parents are always in my heart, but these events bring them that much closer, and that means the world to me.
There will be no live service at our hospices this year. There will be a filmed service released on the Pilgrims Hospices YouTube channel at midday on Saturday 4 December, for you to enjoy before dropping in to find your dove.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 4 December 2021
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 5 December 2021
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 12 December 2021
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Tuesday 14 December 2021
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Wednesday 15 December 2021
To dedicate a dove in memory of a loved one please visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our Supporter Relations team:
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.