Pilgrims Hospices saw many come together for east Kent’s largest remembrance
Pilgrims Hospices welcomed 2,000 people to their Trees of Love remembrance services on Saturday 7 December, to raise funds to support people living with incurable illnesses in east Kent.
The events took place in the grounds of the charity’s three hospices at Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, where huge festive trees were lit up in memory of lost loved ones. Adorned with beautiful doves bearing personal messages, thousands from across east Kent shared their special memories at these remembrance services with carols. Trees of Loveservices were also held in other venues across east Kent in Barham, Charing, Cheriton, Dover and New Romney, to allow more people to attend.
Ellie Cane, Pilgrims Hospices Individual Giving Officer, said: “Our thanks go to everyone who donated to the Trees of Love appeal and dedicated a dove in memory of their loved ones.
“At what can be a difficult time of the year, sharing thoughts with others who have similar experiences keeps our loved ones firmly in our hearts. That’s why this year we wanted to encourage all those across east Kent who have lost loved ones to join us, regardless of a previous connection with Pilgrims.”
She added: “So far we have raised £60,000 for local hospice care from the Trees of Love appeal. This is such an amazing amount, which could pay for many hours of nursing care both on our wards and in people’s own homes, or provides support in our Therapy Centres. It really will make a difference to our patients and their families who need support and care in such difficult times.
Our thanks go to everyone who donated to the Trees of Love appeal.
Ellie Cane, Pilgrims Hospices
“We cannot thank all those who have supported us enough for helping us achieve such an incredible sum. Their contribution will mean so much to all those within the community who need help to live well in every moment.”
This year, visitors were welcomed by Pilgrims Hospices’ Spiritual Care Leads at each site, followed by readings from staff and volunteers, and carols led by local choirs. Mince pies, hot chocolate and mulled wine were also available to keep guests warm.
“Our thanks must extend also to our local communities and the many volunteers who give their time and skills every year to make the events run smoothly. It really couldn’t be done without them.” Ellie added.
The Trees of Love and their doves will remain in the three hospice grounds for all to visit throughout the festive season.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life-limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims support, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about the options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
29th November 2019
Trees of Love: Evelyn’s story
Evelyn White attends Trees of Love in memory of her husband, Bob. Here, she explains why the festive remembrance service is so important for her family.
Robert and I met in 1994 at Whitehall where we both worked. We had both been married before, and between us we have three daughters, six grandchildren, and four great grandchildren.
He preferred to be called Bob. He was an intelligent man with a mathematical brain, a family man who had an affinity with animals and children. He wasn’t afraid to say what he felt and, in turn, he liked you to be honest with him. You could talk to him about anything and everything, particularly if something was upsetting you, if you didn’t understand or just wanted advice.
He was a hard worker and thought nothing of working seven days a week if money was needed for a holiday or to help the family.
Although the pain does not go away, it is really nice that there is always a place that we and other families can come together to celebrate the life of a loved one at Trees of Love, and dedicate a dove at Christmas. The support Pilgrims gives when we feel so low and don’t know what to do or where to turn is amazing, and it means a lot that we are not forgotten.
Evelyn
In 2014 Bob started getting ill and I took early retirement to look after him. We moved to a bungalow in Herne Bay and he got better. We all thought that everything was going to be ok, but in 2017 he took a turn for the worse. It was at that point we started to talk about his end of life.
My mum talked about her friend who volunteered every Monday at Pilgrims Hospice Thanet. I had never heard of this charity before. Little did we know that Bob would be transferred there. When he was in the hospice we didn’t know what to expect, we were so upset but the nurses were so good. We could talk to them, ask questions and nothing – and I mean nothing – was too much trouble. When Bob was alert the nurses would sit with us, talk, laugh and get him anything he asked for. On the 15 August 2017, myself and Bob’s daughter’s, Sarah and Lisa, stayed overnight at the hospice and in the morning of 16 August he passed away.
Two years have passed and we all miss him still. Although the pain does not go away, it is really nice that there is always a place that we and other families can come together to celebrate the life of a loved one at Trees of Love, and dedicate a dove at Christmas. The support Pilgrims gives when we feel so low and don’t know what to do or where to turn is amazing, and it means a lot that we are not forgotten.
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
22nd November 2019
Trees of Love: Mandy’s story
Mandy Broughton attends Trees of Love in memory of her husband, Eamon. Here, she shares how it helps her to feel close to him at an emotional time of year.
2019 has been my 20th wedding anniversary; it was such a happy day yet slightly tinged with apprehension. My husband Eamon had survived testicular and bowel cancer, but a routine check-up a few months prior to our wedding had shown some spots on his lungs.
We were married in Canterbury and went on honeymoon to Bermuda. Unfortunately, about three days into our honeymoon Eamon starting feeling unwell and we had to fly home early. What followed was several months of doctors and hospital appointments, waiting for a surgeon to return from his holiday, and a prolonged hospital stay at Kings in London.
As Eamon died so close to Christmas I find the Trees of Love services an ideal way of marking that time. Even though he died 20 years ago, I find it an emotional time. I like to take part in the services as I find it makes a little link with Eamon that I can’t achieve any other way.
Mandy
We were dealing with multiple doctors at multiple establishments and trying to ensure they all knew the full situation. If we had to call for a doctor, it took ages simply to explain what was wrong and what treatment he had. In addition to the underlying problems of his cancer, Eamon suffered from infections so he was taking a lot of medication.
At the end of August 1999 things came to a head. Eamon was either feeling terrible or knocked out by morphine. It was eventually arranged for him to go to the hospice in Canterbury. We all assumed it was the beginning of the end.
Mandy and Eamon
When we arrived Eamon was taken to a room and made comfortable. I was ushered into a nice office, given a cup of tea and shown such kindness and understanding that I broke down in tears. Two people gave me their full attention and time and I poured out the story of Eamon’s health. The relief of knowing that Eamon and I were going to be looked after was immense.
What I didn’t expect was to go into Eamon’s room later the same day and find him sitting up in bed, happy, chatting and choosing a drink from the afternoon drinks trolley! By simply sorting out his medication, the doctor at the hospice had transformed our lives.
So in a complete turnaround from my initial thoughts that the hospice was a sad place where Eamon would die, it became a place of new hope. Eamon stayed a few days and when he came home he was even able to ride a bike for a little while. We had a hospice nurse, Judy, visit once a week and she stayed on top of Eamon’s medication. In November 1999 Eamon’s health declined as he developed yet another primary cancer, this one in his brain. Judy’s visits were invaluable at this time.
Eamon died aged 42 in the Chaucer Hospital; my big regret being that he was too ill to be moved to the hospice. The six months after our wedding was a time of unbelievable heartache, worry, pain and sometimes panic. However, we did also experience incredible kindness, peace and even joy, and the hospice contributed greatly to those positives.
As Eamon died so close to Christmas I find the Trees of Love services an ideal way of marking that time. Even though he died 20 years ago, I find it an emotional time. I like to take part in the services as I find it makes a little link with Eamon that I can’t achieve any other way.
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
15th November 2019
Trees of Love: Christine’s story
Christine Knight attends Trees of Love every year in memory of her mum, Ada. Here, she explains how coming together with others who have a connection to Pilgrims helps her to give back.
My mum was a strong, often misunderstood woman, she always kept everything very close. But underneath it all, she was very soft and vulnerable. When she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that all changed, and she really started to open up to me. I even found out she had been blind in one eye her entire life and I’d never known!
Mum was extremely active, always doing everything for herself, well into her late eighties. So we only went to the doctors when I saw her one day looking yellow, and it was then we got the cancer diagnosis.
It’s our way of giving back to the place that gave Mum such care, and through Trees of Love we feel we are beginning to pay back that kindness.
Christine
Ada
She stayed at home for as long as I could look after her, then she said she would like to move to the hospice. She was only there for four days, but they were four days I will never forget. The care for both my mum and her family had such an impact on all of us. I was so amazed by the incredible support they gave to us – always offering toast, chocolate, biscuits and tea.
When Mum died in February 2012 it hit us all very hard, but the care we had been provided was so good I felt I had enough closure not to need the hospice’s bereavement support. We gave Mum’s funeral collections to Pilgrims and were sent an invite to Trees of Love, and it seemed such a wonderful idea. The first time I went it was very emotional, but I felt it was where I needed to be because it was where I saw my mum last, and I felt such a connection to the hospice. My husband has given me the support to come back every year and dedicate a dove. I enjoy the company, and being able to share with people who have been through the same experiences as us. It’s our way of giving back to the place that gave Mum such care, and through Trees of Love we feel we are beginning to pay back that kindness.
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
8th November 2019
Trees of Love: Pam’s story
Pam Goodwin attends Trees of Love every year in memory of her husband, Charles. Here, she shares how the festive service helps her to reflect on Charles’ life at such a special time of year.
Chas and I were married for 38 years and have three children and a grandchild whom he loved dearly. He was a funny, intelligent man who loved DIY and gardening. Tools were his passion, and he loved growing vegetables for the family. We lived in London before moving down to Thanet for the last two years of his life, and it was the best decision we ever made because he got much better care here than he would have received in London.
It gives me the opportunity to remember Chas in the weeks before Christmas, and the opportunity to reflect on my loss with the support of others around me who understand.
Pam
Chas had cancer for many years, and after long hospital visits he just wanted to be able to stay at home for as long as possible. So after a referral we had a lovely Pilgrims nurse visit our home on a weekly basis during his last four months. It was such a great help. The thing about Pilgrims is they weren’t just there for Charles, they were supportive to me and the family as well. They really understood what we were going through, so when it came to moving him into the hospice for the last 10 days of his life it felt natural.
Charles
They were so professional, but they also didn’t make us feel unwanted or in the way – we were seen as part of the furniture. We were able to visit whenever we wanted to, and when we were there we were so looked after, they were always offering us food and cups of tea. I was at home when they phoned to ask if I wanted to come in that afternoon as they thought he didn’t have long, and this meant that I and two of our children were able to be at his side at the end.
Pilgrims were absolutely wonderful, not just when Charles was ill, but afterwards as well. I went to Trees of Love eight months after he died. I went alone, and started chatting to a man next to me who had lost his wife. I found such comfort in sharing our stories and experiences, and this is why Trees of Love is so important to me. It gives me the opportunity to remember Chas in the weeks before Christmas, and the opportunity to reflect on my loss with the support of others around me who understand.
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
1st November 2019
Trees of Love: Kirsty’s story
Kirsty Beaumont attends Trees of Love every year in memory of her mum, Valerie. Here, she shares why dedicating a dove to her mum and placing it on the tree is so important.
My mum was the life and soul. She was always on the go and loved a party – even drove up to Scotland and back in a day so as not to miss one!
She was a primary school teacher for 20 years. She loved sports, would watch as much as she could, and coached football at her primary school in Deal. She was always so healthy and strong, so when she was taken to A&E in December 2017 it was a real shock to all of us. It was my birthday when we were told she had a brain tumour, and by January we knew that that she wouldn’t have long left.
Mum died in June 2018, and that Christmas I was invited to the Trees of Love remembrance. It’s near my birthday and just seemed like such a lovely idea, which is why it’s really important for me to remember Mum with a dove.
Kirsty
Our first experience of Pilgrims was when Mum was admitted for a week to help manage her pain. Mum loved it there, she received the best care. She couldn’t quite believe her luck when the drinks trolley came around and she was offered a glass of wine! They made her feel so much better, and when she came home she was like her old self again for a while.
It was just a few months later that she came back into Pilgrims for her final two weeks. Mum had become confused, which I found distressing, but the nurses were amazing stepping in and supporting me, encouraging me to keep talking to her every time I visited.
Mum died in June 2018, and that Christmas I was invited to the Trees of Love remembrance. It’s near my birthday and just seemed like such a lovely idea, which is why it’s really important for me to remember Mum with a dove. That is why I’m taking part again this year.
This year, you can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.