Jacky experiences the reality of life in a hospice
Jacky Darling, a minister in training from St Nicholas Church in New Romney, is gaining experience in the reality of life in a hospice with Pilgrims at Ashford.
Jacky joined Geoff Walters, Head of Spiritual Care Services for Pilgrims Hospices, as part of her training programme. Geoff said: “By sharing various events and aspects of hospice life, we hope Jacky will have an understanding of what a hospice is and does and can, therefore, be supportive to people she meets in the community facing life-limiting illness.”
Jacky explained: “It’s very important to be knowledgeable and positive for people within the community who may have little or no experience of hospice services, leaving them feeling negative and vulnerable.
“My time with everyone at Pilgrims is proving really inspirational. I’m now confident that I can share my experiences and explain how Pilgrims can offer a variety of services to help people who need care, and their families, to live well in the moment. It’s a privilege to share such important information with our community; the charity is providing a vital service.
“I’ve been given opportunities to spend time with the nurses in their morning meetings, attend the Therapy Centre and get to know day patients, staff and volunteers. There’s so much more to the hospice than a bed on a ward.”
Pilgrims Hospices cannot change what’s happening but they can make a difference to patients and their families in such difficult times.
Jacky Darling
Jacky had a career in teaching, taking early retirement from her role as a Primary Head Teacher in order to pursue a spiritual vocation. She led the Trees of Love service held at St Nicholas Church in New Romney on Saturday 1 December and will be ordained in June 2019.
Jacky added: “I enjoyed the Trees of Love service, it was uplifting and comforting to so many local people whose loved ones or friends have been cared for by Pilgrims (and other bereaved people in the community). I welcomed this opportunity to celebrate their lives and wish everyone a peaceful Christmas.
“Pilgrims Hospices cannot change what’s happening but they can make a difference to patients and their families in such difficult times. It’s a moving experience and I’m grateful to be part of the Pilgrims community. I see the passion that surrounds the staff at the hospice; my experience here will enable me to help people understand the breadth of services available and why the charity needs continued support from the community.”
Pilgrims’ offer support for people of any religion or belief. The term ‘spirituality’ covers a wide range of belief systems, from membership of a faith community to those who follow a more personal philosophy or lifestyle. This pastoral and spiritual care (often known as chaplaincy) is available for people who are religious and can equally be a source of support for people of any belief. Facilitating places like Jacky’s is something that Pilgrims Hospices Spiritual Care team does regularly across all sites. Click here to find out more.
Each year Pilgrims supports hundreds of local people coping with a life-limiting illness and their families. The charity offers a range of services: from end of life care given on its wards to its Wellbeing and Social Programme supporting people after they are diagnosed, to live well and stay independent.
Community remember loved ones at Trees of Love services
Pilgrims Hospices Trees of Love remembrance services have so far raised almost £80,000 to support people living with an incurable illness in east Kent.
More than 1,000 people attended Pilgrims Hospices Trees of Love gatherings. The remembrance services took place on Saturday 8 December, with huge festive trees lit up in the gardens in the charity’s Canterbury, Ashford and Margate hospice grounds. The beautiful trees were adorned with Pilgrims doves bearing personal messages. The Tree of Love events also took place in venues throughout east Kent in Barham, Charing, Cheriton, Dover, and Romney Marsh, to allow more people to attend and share special tributes to loved ones.
Millie, Lillie-Starr, and Madison welcomed visitors to Pilgrims’ hospice in Margate
Sophie Douch, Pilgrims Hospices Individual Giving Officer, said: “We would like to thank everyone who donated to our campaign and dedicated a dove in memory of their loved ones. Sharing thoughts and being part of our hospice family keeps our loved ones firmly in our hearts.
Trees of Love wouldn’t be possible without the amazing support of our communities.
Sophie Douch, Individual Giving Officer at Pilgrims Hospices
She added: “This is such an amazing amount of money to raise for hospice care. It could pay for many hours of nursing care on our wards, within the Wellbeing and Therapy Centres or in patients’ homes. It will truly help to make a real difference to our patients and their families who need support and care in such difficult times.
“We cannot thank our supporters enough for helping to achieve such a wonderful sum of money. It will make a huge difference to so many people within the community who need help to live life to the full in every moment.”
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Canterbury hospice
The Rev. Jo Richards, Rector of the Benefice of St Dunstan’s, St Mildred’s and St Peter’s, welcomed visitors followed by readings from staff and volunteers from Pilgrims Hospices. Carols were led by Barton Court Grammar School Choir.
Ashford hospice
The Rev. Geoff Walters, Head of Spiritual Care Services at Pilgrims Hospices, welcomed visitors followed by readings from other Pilgrims’ staff and volunteers. Music was led by members of the Ashford Concert Band and friends, and a choir drawn from the churches of Ashford, conducted by Tony Shaw.
Thanet hospice
The Rev. Ken Cox, welcomed visitors followed by readings from staff and volunteers from Pilgrims Hospices. Music was played by the Salvation Army Band with carols sung by choirs from local churches led by Choir Master Tim Attride.
At the end of the services, visitors shared minced pies, hot chocolate and mulled wine.
Added Sophie: “Trees of Love wouldn’t be possible without the amazing support of our communities, including the help of so many volunteers who give their time and skills every year to make the events run smoothly.”
The Trees of Love and their doves will remain in the grounds of the three Pilgrims’ hospices in Canterbury, Ashford and Thanet until the New Year for people to visit. We’re here to support you however you choose to give in memory; click here to find out how you can remember someone special.
If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, click here to find out more about Pilgrims’ full range of services. Each year Pilgrims supports hundreds of local people coping with a life-limiting illness and their families. The charity offers a range of services: from end of life care given on its wards to its new Wellbeing and Social Programme supporting people after they are diagnosed to live well and stay independent.
19th November 2018
Trees of Love: Vanessa’s story
Vanessa Oakley attends Trees of Love every year in memory of her parents, Betty and Deryck. Here, she explains why it’s so important to come together with others at Pilgrims Hospices’ annual festive remembrance.
Mum and Dad were married for over 54 years and were the most wonderful, kind and loving parents. They were so generous, loved hosting parties and wouldn’t let anyone bring anything. There would always be so much food! Mum would say, “No one’s leaving my house hungry” and they wouldn’t! I have such fond memories.
The important part of the service for me is when the lights on the tree are lit; l believe our loved ones join us at this point.
Vanessa
Mum was referred to Pilgrims in 2004. I remember the most incredible hospice nurse coming to visit us. She supported us at home until eventually Mum was admitted into the hospice. I couldn’t believe how different it was to a hospital – it was so much like home! There was such a relaxed atmosphere; I enjoyed going to visit Mum every day. Everyone knew who we were and remembered us, we were even allowed to bring in our dogs. Every day the cook would come around and ask us, “What would you like today?” and he’d always say, “Is your dog here?” and if he was he’d bring him something too. It was such a caring place; we felt so looked after. Mum died peacefully at the hospice with her dogs Topsey and Tommy snuggled up on the bed with her.
It was only a few years later that Dad passed away, and each year since we have come back to the hospice to remember them at Trees of Love. We write a dove to Mum, Dad and the dogs, Topsey and Tommy.
For me, the most important thing about Trees of Love is that it brings people together for the same reason: to remember our loved ones. I feel that we’re all supporting each other just by being there side by side, whether you know the person next to you or not. The important part of the service for me is when the lights on the tree are lit; l believe our loved ones join us at this point, and even after 13 years it still brings a tear to my eyes.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 5pm on Saturday 1 December
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 2 December
Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 8 December
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 9 December
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
12th November 2018
Trees of Love: Marie’s story
Marie Dowling attended Trees of Love for the first time last year in memory of her husband, Steve, who was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford in 2017. Here, she shares how coming together with others helps the family to remember Steve in a very fitting way.
My husband Steve had a varied career, but his real passion lay in all things mechanical. After he retired in 2012, Steve offered his technical skills free of charge to the elderly and partially sighted people; nothing was too much trouble and his patience was endless.
Steve was a devoted family man to myself and our son, Matthew, and his loyalty to his family and friends was without limit. He could fix just about anything and was always there when things went wrong. He truly was one in a million!
When Steve was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2017, it came as a complete shock to us. Steve had always been a really fit person and, with our son happily settled at university, we had just started to enjoy our freedom to travel. A keen motorcyclist, Steve had also just finished putting together a sidecar outfit and trips to Europe in it had already been planned and booked.
Nothing was too much trouble for the staff and volunteers, even to the extent that food and drinks would be brought to us in Steve’s room so that our son, our long-time family friend and I could be with him for as long as we, and he, wanted.
Marie
We were both in a state of shock and didn’t know what had hit us, or what to expect, but fortunately Steve’s GP had referred him to Pilgrims Hospices. After his initial assessment there we both decided that, when the time came, that’s where Steve wanted to end his days.
Unfortunately Steve’s cancer progressed very rapidly, requiring two stays in hospital where the hospice staff kept in touch with him. After Steve came home for a few days his symptoms became very difficult to control. It was, therefore, with great relief that the decision was made for him to go into the Ashford hospice. I will never forget the look of relief on Steve’s face when he got there. He finally felt safe, and from then on until his death a week later he was looked after with dignity, compassion and care. Nothing was too much trouble for the staff and volunteers, even to the extent that food and drinks would be brought to us in Steve’s room so that our son, our long-time family friend and I could be with him for as long as we, and he, wanted.
After Steve’s death we wanted to do something to repay the hospice for their care of Steve. That’s when we found out about the Trees of Love services. We did wonder if it would be too painful to go back to the place where Steve had died and considered just giving a donation. However, we did go and I’m very glad we did. The sight of the trees decorated with all the doves and dedications was magical, and the service itself was very moving and appropriate for all those who had lost loved ones. Despite the still painful memories, we will definitely be going again this year.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 5pm on Saturday 1 December
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 2 December
Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 8 December
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 9 December
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.
7th November 2018
Trees of Love: Susan’s story
Susan Charles’ dad, John Newman, was cared for at Pilgrims Hospice Canterbury in 2015. The family now dedicate a dove in his memory on our illuminated Trees of Love as part of our annual festive campaign. Here, Susan shares how this helps them to feel connected and remember John, who loved Christmas, and enables them to give back to the charity.
My dad was a devoted family man, always ready to help someone – usually my brother and I when we uttered, “Dad, can you just…”. “Can you just” usually meant some type of building work, as this was his trade as well as being a retained firefighter.
Dad had a brilliant sense of humour and enjoyed cruising holidays with my mum, where they’d be up on the dancefloor as soon as the music started. It was on a cruise when he knew that something wasn’t quite right, after which it was discovered Dad had a rare form of lung cancer.
For us, the Trees of Love service is our annual pilgrimage back to where we feel most connected, for this was our home for a short while. Dad loved Christmas so it’s a fitting way to remember him by hanging our special dove on the tree and listening to the beautiful service.
Susan
Dad’s end of life wish was that we could be together as a family. The level of care we received from all the Pilgrims staff was beyond anything we had experienced. Without the constraints of rigid visiting hours, Pilgrims became our other home during this time and we got to know other patients and family members on the ward, propping one another up when needed.
For us, the Trees of Love service is our annual pilgrimage back to where we feel most connected, for this was our home for a short while. Dad loved Christmas so it’s a fitting way to remember him by hanging our special dove on the tree and listening to the beautiful service. Everyone there has a shared experience and understands any range of emotion displayed. It is our chance to give a little something back to where end of life wishes are granted, and to be part of the amazing Pilgrims Hospices once again.
Trees of Love outdoor services will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 8 December 2018.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 5pm on Saturday 1 December
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 2 December
Assembly Rooms, New Romney, 3pm on Saturday 8 December
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 9 December
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 14 December
If you or someone you know is coping with a life limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing and Social Programme.