Jenny remembers her husband, Graham, by dedicating a dove in his memory at Pilgrims Hospices annual Trees of Love remembrance campaign.
My husband Graham was a kind and generous man, a nature and animal lover. He was particularly musical; he sang, played piano and performed the clarinet in several orchestras. We met at age 5 while attending the same primary school, but went our separate ways when we progressed to our respective grammar schools. It seems rather fitting, then, that we reunited at a German musical evening hosted by Graham’s school. We would go on to spend a wonderful 55 years together, with our children and grandchildren.
We were introduced to Pilgrims later on in Graham’s illness, around six months before he passed. He often found it difficult to put his thoughts into words, but when presented with the option of more treatment or intervention for his illness, he knew that was not the option for him. While our journey with Pilgrims has been rather short, they have been so very helpful. In times like these, you never quite know who to turn to, but the bereavement support we have been offered has been such a help. When you just want someone to listen, they just let us talk.
I was made aware of Trees of Love through a postal invitation that invited me to dedicate a dove in Graham’s memory. My granddaughter, Charlotte, has recently started art college, which has been such a creative outlet for her. She decorated her grandfather’s dove with a wonderful drawing depicting the owl and pussy cat in a tree, as she discovered he was particularly fond of the poem by Edward Lear. Out of sheer coincidence, my daughter revealed that the week her father had passed, she had found a greetings card depicting the ‘Owl and the Pussy Cat’ scene, too. This has brought our family closer together.
In 2023, I attended the remembrance service at the Thanet hospice. Although I attended alone, it was such a welcoming atmosphere for everyone. I struck up conversation with someone who was by themselves, and it was comforting to share the experience with someone who knew what I was going through.
The service was lovely, and I was happy to have the opportunity to capture a picture of Graham’s dove on the illuminated tree, and take my order of service home to share with my family.
Previously, I had volunteered for another hospice in one of their retail stores, so I had experience in the kind of care that a hospice provides. But having now received that support myself, I can recognise how fantastic they really are. I’m happy to support this wonderful charity in any way that I can.
This December, dedicate a dove to someone special and join us at one of our hospice or satellite remembrance services.
To find out more and to take part in Trees of Love 2024, simply visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove or contact our friendly Supporter Relations team on 01227 782 062 to dedicate a dove today.
Pilgrims Hospices is a charity dedicated to providing expert care and support to patients with life-limiting illnesses in east Kent. Our services ensure comfort, dignity, and quality of life for patients and their families, offering compassionate care both in hospice settings and in the community.
23rd December 2022
East Kent’s largest remembrance services returned in December 2022
Pilgrims Hospices’ Trees of Love saw thousands come together to remember loved ones in December 2022.
Pilgrims Hospices welcomed over 2,000 local people to their Trees of Love remembrance services, held at venues across east Kent during the first weeks of December 2022.
Each year, Pilgrims host remembrance services with carols in the grounds of their three hospices at Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, where huge festive trees are lit up in memory of lost loved ones. Adorned with beautiful doves bearing personal messages, many from across east Kent shared their special memories together at these festive events. The hospice also collaborates with other venues in the community, holding services in in Barham, Charing, Cheriton, River and New Romney, allowing more people to attend.
Ellie Cane, Pilgrims Hospices Individual Giving Officer, said: “During the pandemic we were unable to bring everyone together in person, so we were delighted to welcome everyone back to our hospices this year for the return of our remembrance services. Our thanks go to everyone who has donated to the Trees of Love appeal and dedicated a dove in memory of their loved ones. At what can be a difficult time of the year, sharing thoughts with others who have similar experiences keeps our loved ones firmly in our hearts.”
She added: “So far, we have raised over £47,000 for local hospice care from generous donations to the Trees of Love appeal. This is such an amazing amount, which will help us continue to provide our expert care and support on our wards and in people’s own homes. It really will make the difference for our patients and their families when they need us the most.”
Visitors to the hospice services on Saturday 3 December 2022 were welcomed by the charity’s Spiritual Care Leads at Thanet and Ashford, and guest Lead Rev Stefan Thomas at Canterbury, to enjoy readings from staff and volunteers, and sing carols accompanied by local choirs. Refreshments of mince pies, hot chocolate and mulled wine were on offer to keep guests warm on that frosty night.
Of the combined community and hospice effort it takes to host these events every year, Ellie said: “Our thanks must extend also to our local communities and the many volunteers who give their time and skills every year to make the events run smoothly. It really couldn’t be done without them.”
Each year, Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to thousands of people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
30th November 2022
Trees of Love return to Pilgrims Hospices
Pilgrims Hospices’ Trees of Love remembrance services have seen over 1,000 local people join together each year in memory of their loved ones to raise vital funds to support the incredible services that Pilgrims offers.
Trees of Love is an important event for many families who come together with others who may have shared similar experiences, to remember their loved ones. Guests are invited to come along to see their dedicated dove on one of the Trees of Love, listen to festive and remembrance readings and sing carols, whilst enjoying a warm mince pie, hot chocolate or mulled wine.
“Christmas is a special time of year for families and friends to come together, but losing a loved one can make celebrating this time of year very difficult.
“Trees of love is a place for all to come together in remembering their loved ones during the festive season. We are thrilled to be able to invite everyone back to our hospices for our remembrance services, which we have been unable to host due to the restrictions in place during the pandemic.
“We will also be releasing a Trees of Love film again as we understand how important this has become for those who choose to remember at home.”
Trees of Love has been an important fundraiser for the hospice for more than 25 years, helping to care for those living with life-limiting illnesses and support their families after they are gone.
It offers a space for anyone throughout east Kent who has lost someone special to join together, to reflect and remember their loved ones year on year.
Trees of Love events will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 3 December 2022.
We also offer indoor services with seating across our east Kent community:
Firmager, St Nicholas Church, New Romney, 1:30pm on Saturday 3 December 2022
St Peter and St Paul Church, River, Dover, 4pm on Sunday 4 December 2022
All Souls Church, Cheriton, Folkestone, 5pm on Sunday 4 December 2022
Barham Crematorium, Barham, 4.30pm on Thursday 15 December 2022
Charing Crematorium, Charing, 4.30pm on Friday 16 December 2022
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life-limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
14th November 2022
Trees of Love: Christina’s story
Christina Johnson supports Trees of Love in memory of her mum, Julie.
Here, she shares why she chooses to remember Julie in this way.
Our family – my mum and her husband, Terry, and two daughters, myself and Sarah – was originally from London, but later moved to Sandgate to be by the sea andthe countryside.
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time, which then spread, and she sadly passed away in March 2016.
Pilgrims Hospice Ashford cared for my mum from November 2015 until March 2016. We had no idea what to expect, but we felt Mum had the best end-of-life care. Their service was exceptional, and it was reassuring knowing that she was being looked after so well. Mum always said she felt she was in a nice hotel! The staff were so kind and friendly, making Mum laugh, with time for conversation.
Trees of Love is such a special event for us, and we attend every year. Christmas time is hard and feels different now Mum is no longer with us. By joining other families at this event who have lost loved ones, we draw comfort, and enjoy the time to come together to remember our dear mum.
Christina
My mum always liked to look her best. The side effects of chemotherapy made her lose her confidence, but Pilgrims Hospices provided a volunteer beautician, who gave Mum a lovely pedicure in her room. The little extras they do for people are wonderful. She even enjoyed a little glass of red wine on some evenings!
Trees of Love is such a special event for us, and we attend every year. Christmas time is hard and feels different now Mum is no longer with us. By joining other families at this event who have lost loved ones, we draw comfort, and enjoy the time to come together to remember our dear mum. The hanging doves on the trees are a wonderful, personalised tribute to each individual family, for their lost loved ones. The beautiful lit-up gardens at Pilgrims Hospice Ashford, and the music and prayers, bring us both joy and comfort.
Pilgrims Hospices will always be a part of our lives. It helps us to feel connected to our mum and keep her memory alive.
Trees of Love events will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 3 December 2022.
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life-limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
12th October 2022
Trees of Love: Sally’s story
Sally Atkins supports Trees of Love in memory of her dad, Robin.
Here, she shares why remembering Robin at Trees of Love is an essential part of her year.
My dad, Robin, was a well-liked member of the community in Sandwich, where he spent most of his life. A postman and member of the local cricket club, he loved his family dearly and would always do what he could for them.
Sadly, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, living with it bravely for a couple of years before it took hold aggressively. In June 2007, my wonderful dad lost his battle, with great dignity.
Sally’s dad, Robin
Dad was cared for at the Thanet hospice at the end of his life, with Mum and myself, always at his side. We cannot fault the care he received. Calm, peaceful and welcoming, the staff cared for us all with such kindness, allowing us to sleep by his bed, and make the most of every moment together.
Trees of Love is special to us as a family. After two years, I felt I wanted another way to remember my dad, moving forward with my grief. I found out about the Trees of Love service and came along to see what it was like. Now it’s very much part of my yearly calendar, and I’ve been attending for nearly nine years. Even after all this time, it still moves me, and I have a few tears during the service. The beautiful trees are all lit up, and I take photographs of the lights and Dad’s dove, to share with my family, especially ones who live far away.
Pilgrims is such a worthy cause and I will continue to support them and all they do for others. With events on all throughout the year, there’s something for everybody, and I look forward to attending Trees of Love this year, and remembering my special dad.
Trees of Love events will take place at our hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet at 5pm on Saturday 3 December 2022.
You can also post a message and a photo in memory of your loved one on our online Trees of Love memory wall.
If you or someone you know is coping with a life-limiting illness and you think you may benefit from Pilgrims free services, talk to your GP or Healthcare Professional about your options or click here to read about our Wellbeing Programme.
20th December 2021
Trees of Love raises £1 million for hospice care!
This year, Pilgrims Hospices welcomed over 1,200 people to their Trees of Love remembrance services, held throughout December 2021, at the hospices in Ashford, Canterbury and Thanet, and at indoor venues in New Romney, River, Cheriton, Charing and Barham.
Those remembering lost loved ones this Christmas dedicated doves to hang on the trees at each venue, or at home, to be illuminated throughout the festive season. All were then invited to join together to share their memories at the event or service of their choosing, where they enjoyed carol singing and warm mince pies.
This year also marks an incredible achievement for east Kent’s largest remembrance services, as Ellie Cane, Individual Giving Officer, explains:
“This very important remembrance service has been running for more than 20 years, and in that time we are pleased to say that we have just reached the milestone of raising over £1 million for the hospices! We’d like to thank all those who’ve supported this appeal over the years, and also to our incredible volunteers who help us make it happen each and every year.”
Pilgrims partnered once again this year with Firmager Funeral Directors, All Souls Church and School, St Peter and St Paul Church, and the Westerleigh Group to put on these very special events, allowing more people in east Kent who have lost loved ones to attend.
Ellie added: “The response to the appeal has been incredible, and we want to say a huge thank you to everyone that has dedicated a dove so far this year, and on previous years. Your support has meant we can continue to be still here, still caring even during difficult times.”
Pilgrims will continue to take donations for dedicated doves across the festive season. Contact their Supporter Relations Team on 01227 782 062 or visit pilgrimshospices.org/treesoflove to donate and dedicate a dove.
Each year Pilgrims Hospices give care and comfort to over 2,500 people in east Kent who are coming to terms with an illness that sadly cannot be cured. The charity support patients to live life as well as possible until the very end, free from pain and distress.
